Gorilla Glue......

LOL....it's always somethin'..especially when mom's "alone". 

You know that gorilla glue that's super strong an' will glue anythin'? 

Well, here's some tips...
.
1.  If you get it all over your hand because, well, you're like mom...no real other explanation needed...first off..don't pet me or Lexie or any other 'dale.....'cause your hand will kinda resemble us.

2.   Don't pick up any paper, you'll be peelin' that stuff off till doomsday. 

3.  Try to keep your fingers apart, or they kinda hurt, even if they are furry (because you ignored #1) when you try to pull 'em apart. 

What to do....To save you time, these things don't work, so don't try these 'cause your hand is just gettin' even more sticky as it dries.....
dish detergent
hairspray, 
nail polish remover, 
alcohol, 
goo gone, 
orange goop, 
toothpaste (why? I dunno, but it don't work),
all purpose cleaner, 
spot remover, 
Deep Eddie's grapefruit vodka (didn't work, but made mom feel better after taking a swig or two), 
an' clothes detergent.

 All the while, have someone like me shadowin' you, just to witness what crazy thing you're gonna do next. Finally, as a last resort (the other being to just let your hand dry w/the fingers separated & know eventually it'll wear off).....say, "the heck w/it" an' get out one of them lil' soapy steel wool pads and scrub your hand like it's never been scrubbed before......voila! To quote mom...it's glue/hair free and as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Oh, an' next time you see me, don't pay any attention to the hand shaped bald spot on my back..just kidding, but it coulda' happened....hope I've made your life a lil' easier 
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