Friday, April 17, 2015

In the the Rain

I'm even amazed...don't know how she did it, but she the the the water.  We've been under a massive storm an' flood watch all evenin'.  We had wind, super heavy rains, booms and' on top of all that, the power kept goin' out.  The street was flooded an' it was even over the sidewalk in front.  The back looks like a swamp.  The rains stopped to a lil' sprinklin' a lil' while' me an' Lexie had to "go".  So, mom let us out w/the "come right back" instruction.  She didn't have to tell me twice...I did what I had to do an' "came right back" an' insisted on bein' toweled off.  Lexie was a 'no show".  So, mom had to go call' call her....finally, Lexie comes trottin'  up, then kinda slows down when she see's mom standin' at the door.  Mom recognizes that special slow walk of Lexies an' just waits.  I'm waitin', see how mom's gonna handle this one, lol.
Lexie comes right up to mom with muddy paws (backyard is a swamp, remember) and bird feet hangin' outa one side of her mouth an' a wing an' head outa the other. She wants to bring it in the house.  Mom's sayin', "no way".  Mom's standin' there, Lexie's sittin' in front of her w/that bird in her mouth..both at a stalemate. Then mom tells dad to get a chew, hopin' to make a trade.  Dad brings one of them pupperoni stix, an' sure 'nuff Lexie goes to grab it droppin' her bird.  Between her chompin' down on that stix, droppin' the bird, mom grabbin' her wasn't but a blink before Lexie found herself in the house w/the backdoor closed with out her bird.  
Then mom realized that there was now a bird layin' right on the other side of that closed door.   Dad looked at her an' said he was barefooted an' wasn't goin' out there.  Mom didn't want it by the backdoor. with most things like this..she's out traipsin' in the dark, in the water, in the rain disposin' of somethin' an' still wonderin' how in the world Lexie found it in the first place.
Earlier, mom was readin' up on Barn Hunts.  She's decided that we might have fun doin'' just maybe be pretty good at it.  An enclosed area, dry, daylite an' w/a rat...piece of cake, lol.  

Mom's not a barber

I'm hidin' out, but I've gotta laugh at dad.  He said he needed a haircut an' wanted mom to trim his hair.  He even got out his special set of clippers (they're just like ours only his has colored plastic thingees to keep mom from shavin' him bald).  He showed her the page w/instructions an' said for her to "try" to follow them an' not do it like she does us.  "OK....", she said...she put on the plasticy thing an' followed the picture.   After two lil'' a "OOPS"'  (sorry...but it is an organic word)  "CRAP!" turned off them clippers, took off that plasticy thing an' put it all down.  Then told dad that she hoped the barber could fix it.....   On the back of his head there was a ...well for lack of a better description, a chunk cut out.  So, off he went to the barber....when he came back, mom examined their handywork.  They fixed it, alright.  She said all he needs is some tattoos on his head an' he'd look just like that actor  that plays King Ragar on that Vikings show.   Dad wasn't amused.   :)

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Deputy Dad

Mom's gettin' lazy....after dinner, Lexie an' I treed (well "fenced" may the be more correct term since he was up on top of ours) another possum.  Mom was comfy on the couch w/her feet up watchin' tv when she heard us.  She says she can actually tell what we're after by the sounds.  Maybe she can...have to admit, she's had a lot of practice backin' us up.  Anyway, she sent out deputy dad (her words), sayin' since it was his day off,  he needed to put in more trainin' hours w/our security detail.  It's ok w/me....I don't mind trainin' him.  The more the merrier, I always say.  He's learned to grab mom's big lite, so I think he'll work out.  He found us about midway on the back fence.  I was jumpin' as high as I could, an' Lexie was keepin' up a stream of trash talk.  Dad shined that lite, an' he saw the possum hangin' on the top of the fence hissin' at us.  He was tryin' to get those lil' orange fruits on one of mom's loquat trees, when we caught him tresspassin'.   Now, he was just outa reach, an' he must be an' experienced one, 'cause he didn't even have his tail hangin' down.  I've managed to drag one off the fence by that method before.  Anyway, dad took a page outa mom's book an' grabbed one of her big sticks an' pushed him right off that fence to the other side.  That's ok.....that means he'll be back (they aren't very smart), an' maybe next time he'll make the mistake of not makin' it to the top of the fence.  All in all, it was a success.  Dad's learnin', he keeps lettin' 'em escape..but he's still new at it.   Just wait till mom's t'maters start disappearin'' she goes on the warpath.  He'll change his tune.  After all, if mom's not happy...nobody's happy.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


This time change, AHS and mom are havin' a bit of difficulty.  It's gonna be an mom.   Me an' Lexie are gonna carry on as usual.  After all, the varmits don't carry watches or have clocks, either. Like this mornin', right before mom's first cup of coffee, we had a situation.  We tried to solve it ourselves, but we were at an impasse.  After tryin' everythin' we could think of...I went to get mom.  Found her in the kitchen impatiently waitin' for her coffee to brew...she gave me that "what?'re just gonna have to wait" look...I wasn't havin' it...this was a code red. I gave her a "follow me... now!" bark, one look to make sure she "got it" and took off to the backdoor.  I coulda' gone thru Lexie's door, but then I'd be takin' a chance on mom not followin' me.  This way, she had to come open the door for me (I was bein' a lil' demandin' and not takin' "no" for an answer)' by then resigned probably, she would follow me.  She did....I raced to the side of the house where Lexie was still workin' on our problem.

There was a rat under dad's pallet of stuff.  We tried every which way we could, but he wasn't budgin'.  I was sure mom would come up with some kind of' she did, but as per usual, not the solution I wanted.  I thought she'd pick all that stuff up an' we'd be ready an' grab it (especially since we had it surrounded). But nooooo....she goes off an' comes back w/the hose w/that thing that jets the water out.  Then she proceeds to spray it under that worked..that rat took off like his tail was on fire...we were just a nano second behind him as he raced around the house headin' towards the deck by the back door.  We searched an' searched to no an' outa them gardens, under the deck, even up the pipe by the air conditioner...that's where we think he went....up that pipe an' across the roof...'cause we looked everywhere else an' couldn't find him.  Lexie did most of the grunt work an' it mom's dismay...but not to worry, Lexie decided to take a quick dip in her pond to rinse off..before goin' in the house.  I'm not sure mom was any happier w/that, though.  It helped that Lexie gave mom time to get that cup of cool coffee before testin' her by jumpin' up on the couch.

All in all, I'm chalkin' this one up as a successful's still thinkin' about

AHS Office Closed for Repairs.....

We've got a big storm comin' an' mom's not gonna be workin' outside all day, but the best part is...that means I'm gonna be able to spend the whole day up in my tower on my comfy queen size bed, three large bay windows to be able to see one end of my neighborhood to the other end.... in peace an' quiet.  Now, if I could only get room service...

Spoke too soon.....locked outa my tower.  Was all excited about goin' up there, too. It's a dark an' rainy day...but mom discovered why I didn't want to come downstairs yesterday mornin'.  I didn't get up w/dad to go out, didn't go up an' give mom her good mornin' wake up cuddle an' fact, she finally came upstairs to find me just layin' on that big bed about 10:30am an' told me to get downstairs.  Then she locked me out, informin' me we were spendin' the day outside.
Just now, she opened it up for me.  She was plannin' on washin' all the beddin' an' climbed up there to take off the sheets.  That's when she found out why I was reluctant to come downstairs.  It coulda' been 'cause I was tryin' to figure out what to do about that lil' window pane I busted...or that when I did it, I cut my paw a lil'.  I sure didn't expect either thing to happen, but I sure didn't want mom to find out, either.
It was that cat's fault!!  He lays right under that window every single nite...just to terrorize me.  To be fair...I didn't even break the screen, so there's no m'skitters comin'' more important, I didn't jump outa that second story  (although, that was a lil' bity pane an' I wouldn't have fit anyways).  
Needless to say, dad's not' mom said that boardin' up them windows wouldn't be a good look.  I, agree, besides how could I keep watch if they were boarded up?

Monday, April 13, 2015

Show Down at the Ok Corral.....

Show Down at the OK Corral...well, not exactly, more like the Battle of Waterloony.  Went out w/mom to check her greenhouse after the storm last night.  Everything seemed ok, to me.  It did to mom too, at first.  She didn't mind that lil' baby green dragon fly that buzzed her face before headin' outside when she opened the doors.  She even kinda liked it an' wished he had stayed in there.  She said hello to her lil' lizard that's been there all winter an' then checked her cucumbers.  They needed a lil' water, so she grabbed her hose.  I was checkin' out around the t'mater pots in the back, when everythin' just went crazy.  I couldn't get outa there fast enough.  Not sure how I got past her w/out goin' thru her, but I found myself on the outside lookin' in...then I decided to watch from the house.  This was a mom mission not one for AHS.  Not to mention her weapon of choice...well, lets just say I didn't want her to turn it on me for any reason.  Seems when she started waterin' her lil' cucumbers, some kind of big flyin' bug flew up.  Not sure if it was a beetle, horsefly, or wasp...but I do know it was somethin' on mom's hit list an' definitely persona non gratis in her greenhouse.  She put that hose on "jet" an' was chasin' him all over that greenhouse w/a blast of water.  Of course, what goes up must come down.  It was like a rain storm in there.  If she had had a lite saber instead of a water stream, it woulda looked like somethin' outa StarWars, w/it goin' this way an' that.   She finally convinced him to fly out an' away.  I was waitin' for her when she came in triumphant but a lil' soaked, an' all she had to say was, "now, I don't have to water the plants, but I need another cup of coffee...this one seems a lil' watered down."  An' she's always tellin' tales of our adventures, I'm goin' on record sayin' I didn't have nothin' to do w/this one.  I was expectin' a nice mornin' stroll around the yard. Ya' just never know what's gonna happen around here.....