Saturday, August 27, 2016

Eyebrows an' vacation

Well....I figured it out.  We got baths, mom an' dad got out' I heard dad confirmin' our resort reservations.  We're all goin' on vacation for a week!'s been packin' all day....why all day?...Cause she has to try on every single' hates it all.  She even bought new' now wonders what kind of mind set was she in?  Maybe that store had some kind of magic circus mirrors 'cause she sure don't like how they look in our mirrors.  She's got a huge pile (literally) thrown in a suitcase, now she's takin' it all out an' cullin' it 'cause she don't need that many clothes, there's not that many hours in a day or that many days.   On top of it all, she wonderin' why packin' is such a big deal.  Why can't she just grab what she wears everyday here an' just go?  Heck she don't know any of them people in Vegas...if it's good enough for here where people may know should be good enough for there.' you know the story of me losin' an' eyebrow....well, ....she hasn't been wearin' her contacts for awhile...just her glasses.  An' she just didn't get around to gettin' her eyebrows shaped up.  So, she bought this thingee that was s'posed to shape 'em for her.  But to do it, she had to take off her glasses...(bet you know where this is goin', lol). seemed easy,  Ran that wax pen thingee under her eyebrow, put on the lil' linen strip...ripped it' she's only got half an eyebrow.   What to do?  She was very conservative with her other'  hardly did anythin', but she ws scared to do anymore.  She guesses that she'll just pencil it in...she'd kinda artsy, anyway an' should be able to do it.  Now, she's lookin' at me an' said that I need my eyebrows cut.....I think I'll just mosey on outside for a patrol.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

New Routine....not!

Ok....I've told you that the folks are a work in progress...have been for years....I don't think they'll ever "get it" matter how many times I have to repeat stuff.

For instance, this mornin'. Dad's gettin' ready for work. Goin' in the kitchen...goin' in his bathroom.....shavin'....gettin' clothes. I've followed him everywhere....tried several time in several different rooms to remind him that he had forgotten somethin'....gave him the "look" over an' over.

He tried turnin' on mom's sink....tried givin' me a cookie (naturally, Lexie didn't turn it down)....I finally had to resort to visual aids (I swear, he's takin' a step backwards)....gave him the "look", then a nosepoke...then I walked over to the backdoor' of all things, had to give the door a nosepoke then dad the "look" much plainer do I have to get?

Who doesn't have to "go" when you get up in the mornin'? It's not like it's a new routine or somethin'........

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

In the Dark......

AHS log.....Right before midnite, mom heard Lexie out in the back 40 makin' a racket. I knew right away that she was warnin' off an intruder, so I gave mom a "c'mon'...this may be serious" look an' took off out Lexie's door.
Mom took the hint.....she says it was because we were both makin' a' grabbed her big lite to come assist us....she says she was comin' to make us quit an' come in the house.

By the time she made it out to the back corner (for some reason she don't move as fast in the dark as in the day time...I don't understand it really....we don't have that problem)...the whole thing was pretty much over. Whatever it was, took our warnin's seriously an' went back over our fence to the field behind. We were just doin' a perimeter check to make sure he didn't have any friends.

Mom told us to go back to the house....since we were done, anyway, Lexie an' I raced back. We waited for mom at the back door (I told you she was slow), watchin' her lite bounce up an down as she made her way across the yard. All of a sudden,,.....there wasn't any bouncin' lite. We couldn't hear her either....well, up until she started sayin' stuff...kinda like a loud grumblin'....Did I mention that we've been havin' lots of rain an overcast, when it's dark, it's realy dark.

Anyways, mom called me. Curious as to what was goin' on, I went to find her. Lexie came too, 'cause this was unusual an' maybe mom found an intruder Nope....her lite went out an' she was out there in the dark in her "jungle". Lexie an' I looked around an' didn't see or sniff out anythin' unusual, so when she said, "ok...lets all go back to the house"....Lexie an' I took off an' raced, again, back.

Mom finally made it back to the house, where she found both of us standin' at the door grinnin' an' waitin' on her, w/a "what took you so long" look.

I'm pretty sure she was grumblin' somethin' about bein' abandoned out in the dark, but she should know better....we were watchin' an' listenin' over her the whole time.......she's our number one priority, afterall. Just 'cause she needs that big lite, doesn't mean we do.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Thank you---an You're Welcome

It's all about' if it makes 'em feel good, then I say to go along w/it. It don't cost you nothin'' you still might get somethin' outa it...if nothin' else but good will. Ya know, bankin' them "brownie points" for the future.

Take last nite for instance. Mom, dad an' M'shell went out to eat w/ our Papa at the American Legion Hall. It was a tribute dinner for past post commanders. He even got a standin' ovation for bein' a WWII veteran (there was only one other one there)' lots of handshakes, some' even a kiss on the cheek. It made him feel pretty special. But another thing that I thought was pretty special was the menu.....steak an' lobster...big steaks an' lobsters.

There was so much food that not everyone was able to finish their plates. Mom bein' mom thought about us. Me an' Lexie stuck at home...alone...w/only our dog food. Did I mention alone? Not even able to smell that delicious stuff? Anyway, she got a lil' plate an' put some of that food they were throwin' away on it, covered it w/a couple of napkins an' brought it home. Papa had so much, he was able to take enough home for a couple of dinners.

When mom got home, she fixed us a plate. Wowzer...we get leftovers, but this had to be a first...a sirloin stead dinner w/baked tators an' even a lil' green beans! Needless to say, we went to town on them plates, an' they were so clean that she coulda' just put 'em back up in the cabinet.

After we were finished, we both sought her out. (This is what I'm really talkin' about, we do this everytime she gives us somethin' special)....she pets us, tells us that we're "very wecome", 'cause she thinks we're sayin' thank you. Heck, I even got up on the couch an' insisted on pets an' hugs for about 15- 20 minutes...even "cuddled" next to her. FYI....oh, yea...I enjoyed it...enjoyed it a lot....I know it makes her happy.....was I sayin' "thank you"? Are we grateful for all we have? Yes....but just in case she's got some more steak , an' is feelin' the "love" enough to give us some more.....well, we'd be even more grateful, lol.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

The Fastest U-Turn

Whoa.......I had no idea. Lexie had been after mom an' dad to go outside, but mom had closed it (yep, mom closes outside pretty' before we're ready). Oh, we had both been hearin' the boomin', but not really payin' attention. It just doesn't bother us. Finally, mom decided that just maybe Lexie needed out for a "powder room break", an' she told dad to go ahead an' let us out...but w/the instruction to "come RIGHT back!".
I was at the front of the line an' zoomed outside w/Lexie on my heels...literally, 'cause I barely got my tail outside before I had my head right back fact, I almost bowled Lexie over...we had a regular traffic jam at the door. It was RAININ'!!!
I don't do rain...not if I don't have to. Whew, it was a close one, I tell you....thankfully, you'll be relieved to know I barely got my head wet. Now, Lexie on the other paw.....I guess she had to "go"' went pretty far out. I know she probably followed the tree line, like I taught her years ago. It keeps you outa' the deluge if you really need to be out in the rain. After a few minutes, she came zoomin' in....soaked, lol. I'd feel bad for her if, she wouldn't insist on jumpin' on me when she's' two, if she didn't like it so much. It took two for the floor an' one for her.
Needless to closed outside for good tonite. :)

Sunday, August 7, 2016

...from outside......

10:45am I have my "Do Not Disturb" sign out.....which mom chooses to ignore by gettin' out the' she never vacumns on early sunday mornin', geezzzzz

5 am---go out for a quick recon when dad got up for work, then back in bed..we're a lil' tuckered

2:15am-3:45am---locked in the bedroom, but not gettin' much sleep 'cause Lexie just won't let it go. Once she sets her mind on somethin' it's like a terrier w/a bone---uh wait...that is exactly why, I guess. (Mom says hard headed) Anyway, mom told her don't know how many times to go to sleep an' that whatever it was ..was way gone an' that was that! Heck...even at one point, mom got outa bed an' picked Lexie up an put her up in bed...under the covers w/her to try to get her to go to sleep an' be quiet. It lasted about 10 fact everythin' lasted about 10-15 min or so. Lexie'd be quiet, but thinkin' about what she thinks she should be doin' an chasin'...couldn't sleep, so she'd pop up w/barkin' demands to be let out. Dad was ignorin' her an' tryin' to sleep, mom was tryin' to sleep, tryin' to ignore her, an' tryin' to get her to be quiet. Me.....I was stayin' outa' it an' bein' quiet...I've been there done that an' mom's not gonna give in at this point.

<THUNK!> from outside...even mom heard it

<ROARIN', BARKIN', CODE RED!!!> we were at the back door tryin' to go through it....I even tried openin' the doggy door....turnin' the knob.....bangin' on came in an' pulled up the blinds an' turned on the outside lite....(naturally she didn't see anythin').....she tried pullin' us off the door, away from the door...anythin', but this was an' emergency situation...and even for us..both...there was somethin'/someone out there!!!! This was no false alarm. Mom, even went an' looked out the front...(why? I was outback we needed access to). She even thought about lettin' us out ...then that thought went to she didn't know what was out' she really didn't feel like goin' an' tanglin' w/somethin'...or tryin' to "help", of all things, she decided to check all the locks, pull down the door blinds, turn off the outside lites an' try to convince us that our duty was to stand guard INSIDE the house. She will never learn that an offensive stance is better then the defensive....or she could let me out an' keep Lexie for backup....I dunno...but neither Lexie or I agreed w/this. We demanded to be let out..takin' turns to try to sniff through the door cracks. I even stood up an' tried to look out the window blinds.....there was somethin' out there an' we needed to get it!!!! An' we weren't bein' quiet about it!! After about 15 minutes of wrestlin' w/us, tryn' to calm us down, an' even tryin' to bribe us (Lexie wasn't even takin' a cookie...we were in pro mode) finally grabbed Lexie's collar an' ordered us to the bedroom. Then shut the door an' told us to go to sleep! AS if.......

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Wake up Gift......

OMD....I can' hardly stand it.....I'm laughin' so hard. I really don't know why mom even bothers gettin' in a's not like it's the first time somethin's gotten loose in the house. Remember that time Lexie an' I discovered that big possum in the garage...then flushed it out an' it got in the house? Then was hidin' behind the couch an' chairs while we chased it an' mom runnin' around w/a broom? What great fun...but we took care of it. Well, this flashed before mom's eyes when dad came home for lunch an' asked her if she happened to get a lil' gift when she woke up this mornin'. An' then he proceeded to tell her that when he finally let us out at 5am this mornin'...he had a lil' trouble gettin' us back in. We were busy.

Finally, right before he had to leave for work, he called us one last time w/"that voice" an' told us to come inside. Since I was done, I came right away...went' then Lexie was right behind me. But dad looked at her an' closed the door in her face. Even I thought that was a lil'' Lexie was a lil' confused. So, she went to her lil' door to come inside (she wasn't gonna miss out on his "I'm goin' to work, so here's your mornin' cookie".

Dad opened the back door,' told her she couldn't come in the house with the possum she had in her mouth. He then told her to drop it....she weighed her' then decided to think about it for a minute an' went back out in the yard.

Dad left the her lil' doggy door open an' went to work, leavin' mom sleepin' an' totally unaware of the possibilities. (At this point, mom told dad to never leave her sleepin' unawares again....ignorance is not bliss...if she had woken up to a possum in her bed or stepped on it). He thought it was funny.
Anyway....before he hardly finished tellin' her, she had both of us out the backdoor w/orders to find that "possum", now!'s not like we lost it or anythin'....we knew where it was an' really didn't understand the problem. In fact, we thought she woulda' taken care of it when she came out w/her mornin' coffee an' plant waterin'. It was right there by the back door, where Lexie left it when she came inside after hearin' dad leavin' for work. She knew not to bring it in the house....she was a lil' confused w/what dad wanted when he told her to come in the house.

All I've gotta say is it's all about' most of the problem is w/the folks....I tell you....they are a work in progress, 'cause we know what we're doin' in spite of 'em.


AHS-Log  Aug 5/6....since it kinda overlapped....(not our fault)....
for the last few nites we've been tryin' to tell mom we've had a problem w/a perpetrator in the backyard.  He's been takin' authorized liberties all nite long, while we've been locked inside due to mom..."closin' outside".
Lexie has been sleepin' at the backdoor an' has sounded the alarm several times, when she's heard him rummagin' around right by the house.   We've had him cornered several times  (although I have to admit we have yet figured out how to pull up them big deck boards to get at him...not for lack of tryin')
Last nite...was an official operation.  We chased him all the way to the back where he decided to hunker down an' "dig in"....literally.  Lexie an' I weren't haven't it.....he'd been warned...heck we even have our no critter tresspassin' sign up..
We warned him...we chased him....we started workin' on how to get at him.  Oh, we heard mom an' dad call us...but...well, we were a lil' busy.   I finally sent Lexie in to give a quick report to mom, while I kept watch.  I was hopin' she'd enlist mom as backup...we could use her big' to be honest between me tryin' to take that horse wire apart an' Lexie's tunnel diggin' ..we weren't gettin' anywhere very fast.  An' that critter was hissin' an' snappin' at us.....Lexie said he was doin' some trash talkin' an' tauntin' us.  (You can just imagine how we reacted to midnite an' after).

Mom took one look at Lexie an' grabbed her lite an' headed out to where I was keepin' watch in order to get a visual of what we were dealin' with.  (She says she wanted to know where the tunnel was an' where it was goin')


Lexie led her right to where I was waitin'.  It took mom only about a minute to see how serious this operation was.  There was the hole on our side of the fence, the almost torn horse fence (it's kinda bent up..but that stuff is tuff), the tunnel on the other side of the fence, an' the problem stickin' his head outa that tunnel an' top it all off...hissin' an' snappin' at mom!
After takin' a quick appraisal of the whole situation, mom marched right back inside the house w/Lexie (why Lexie followed mom, I don't know...probably thought mom was gonna get a shovel an' help w/the hole or somethin')...I stayed an' kept watch.  I knew mom was comin' back.
Mom told dad there was a problem.   Now, here's where the problem really lies.  She just doesn't prioritize stuff like I think she should.   We needed to figure out how to get that possum an' get rid of him.  She was more worried about us gettin' to him thru that fence an' then Lexie decidin' at sometime in the future to figure out where his tunnel came from on the other side of that big wood fence an' out into some field.

Next thing that happened, was dad out there w/mom in the dark doin' fence work. By this time it was well after' dad wasn't happy....I wasn't happy, that thing was still pokin' his head outa his' Lexie, who found herself locked in the house while all this was goin' on an' not knowin' what was happenin'...she wasn't happy.   Dad finally did somethin' right...he shoved some pipes down an' across that possum's tunnel, so he couldn't come out that way..he'd have to go back into that field where he came from.  Mom's still not happy....'cause if there's one...there's a dozen or more...they multiply faster then rabbits.  At least now she knows what happened to all her squash an' dad's lil' cantelopes.  
I was satisfied w/dad's work an' followed him an' mom back to the house.  Then mom gave Lexie another look.....
She tried a really wet towel to clean her up...but that didn't do anythin' but smear the mud.  So, there was mom an' Lexie on the patio at 1 am.  Mom had the hose an' was power washin' Lexie's face an' front paws.  It was the only thing to do....especially since lexie was a lil' sad that dad had locked her outa the bedroom.  After that, she got toweled off (she likes that part the most)' a' more important..bedroom access.  Which we all took advantage of an' settled in for a good nites sleep, after a successful mission (kinda).

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Me 1 Mom-0

Bailey- 1 Mom- 0........again...naturally.

First off, I hate pills...pills of any fact I'm pretty suspicious of anythin' new....and have to take it in the other room to thoroughly exam it.
Mom's tried everythin'....marshmallows, tuna, cheese, meat, hot dog, sausage, bacon, name it...she's tried it. An' I've been able to peel, lick, unwrap an' enjoy it' leave whatever pill there was, spotlessly clean an' layin' on the floor.

It's a grand game, as far as I'm, not so much. In fact, she's just about givin' up an' just stuffs it down my throat.
This is the usual routine, lol

Why am I bringin' this up? Well, I'll tell you. I was mindin' my own business. I had just gotten up on the couch to share some time w/mom while she was watchin' tv. I was all comfy an' settled....but mom was complainin' an' holdin' her nose. Then wavin' a magazine at me!, maybe I over' let out a lil' toot when I plopped down on the couch. Don't know what the big deal was, but she kinda hurt my feelin's an' I got down an' went over to my bed.

She was't through, though. She got up, still complainin'' went rummagin' through her stash of firstaid/medical stuff. Then I heard an "ah ha!!!". I knew what that I watched her march into the kitchen. I just waited.

Sure 'nuff...she came out of the kitchen w/a rolled up piece of stinky cheese. <she knows I love that cheese>. I took it....rolled it around in my mouthe...enjoyed that cheese...then spit out that "Gas Be Gone" pill. It looked like it just came outa that bottle, lol.

Givin' out one of her exasperated' givin' me a "challengin' look"....which I responded w/a "big eyed...what're you gonna try next" look of my own, she snatched up that pill an' marched back to the kitchen. I waited.

All of a sudden, I could hear drawers openin' an' shuttin', the refrigerator openin' an' shuttin'' then....some kind of machine. Thinkin' that was new...I couldn't stand it an' went into the kitchen just to see what she was doin'.

Whatever it smelled pretty good. Mom turned off that lil' machine, got down a' scooped it all out. Then she presented it to me.

It kinda looked like a giant deconstructed mini meat had a lil stinky cheese,' a lil' piece of roasted chicken all ground up an' mixed together. I could smell all the delicious ingredients an' dug right in, all the while knowin' mom was watchin' me.

I ate it all, even licked the plate an' made it scoot across the tile floor. Then I went back to my bed, all satisfied. Mom bragged to dad that she finally pulled one over on me. I was listenin'' I waited.
Mom went back in the kitchen to pick up my plate an' put it in the dishwasher. There layin', where I had left 'em, were two pill chunks...clean as a whistle. She came flynin' outa the kitchen to show dad, an' in her hand were those two pill chunks.
"HE DID IT TO ME, AGAIN!!, she said. Dad just laughed. I went over to verify the pill chunks....yep, there they were.

She showed 'em to me layin' there in her hand. I looked at' she seemed to not see the fun in, I really didn't want her upset....I just picked 'em up an' ate 'em. It was no biggee, really...just a' in all games, there's winners an'' it's always important to be a gracious an' good winner/ :)