"She's so Sweet"....NOT!

Oh..."she's so "sweet" lookin'", everyone says.

I'm not puttin' that in my AHS log...nope. Don't think mom's gonna object, either.

Mom gave us a "last call" about 10pm, last nite. She wanted us to do our thing before that front came w/the rain.

We met her at the backdoor...she gave us that pointy finger "come right back" command. Even tapped Lexie on the nose an' had that finger right in front of her eye an' made her look at her, so she couldn't pretend she didn't know what mom was tellin' her. We grinned as usual, givin' her our "sure...of course, mom"...an' zoomed outside.

Mom finished puttin' stuff up in the kitchen, closin' down the house for the night....an' about 15 very quiet minutes from us...she was at the backdoor callin' an' whistlin'.

It was cold, damp....an' silent......it's that silent part that really gets her.....it always makes her suspicious...not sure why. We know what we're doin'.

Mom grabbed her lite an' headed out around the pond to the lil' orange tree. She didn't even bother lookin' anywhere else. First she saw me on the right side of it, checkin' the ground. Then she swung that lite to the left....there was Lexie.

Mom told me to go to the house, an' then went to Lexie. As the got closer...she saw Lexie pick somethin' up off the ground. Mom tried to grab her as she took off trottin' towards the house. With a pretty pitiful, "NOOOOOO"...mom desperately grabbed for Lexie's tail...but she slipped right outa mom's hand.

Mom took off after her, with me followin'. (I knew how this show was gonna end an' didn't want to miss it).

Mom walked into the house an' there was Lexie by dad's chair, just a grinnin' a waggin' her tail. Maybe it was a Christmas present....or maybe she was confirming that she came "right back".....just not alone.

Don't know...but when mom walked around the coffee table an' saw that big ol' possum layin' there w/those bared teeth....she wasn't thrilled.

She grabbed Lexie an' put her in her bedroom w/sleepin' dad. Then looked at that possum....was it playin' possum?...she didn't know..she wasn't gonna touch like they do on tv to find out....but it wasn't on a blanket or nothin'...just the rug. She wasn't gonna pick it up...couldn't "roll" into somethin'....what to do. An' she had to go back outside to get somethin' to put it in. I got on the couch to keep watch while she figured it out.

She hurried outside to get a bigger pot to put it in....then just grabbed a lil' log to use to push it into the pot. She didn't want to waste anytime lookin' for anythin'...'cause in case it was playin' possum...she didn't want it runnin' amuck in the livin' room..(guess she forgot that I wouldn't have let that happen....or the fact I wasn't concerned that would happen....duh)

Anyway, she came inside, quickly scooped it up....had me escort her to the back fence. Good thing she had left that thing to stand on, so she could dump it over the fence into the field...'cause she's short. This was a bigger pot, though an' she did have some concern she'd miss an' dump that possum on her head....not to mention the whole way out to the back, she was worried it would decide to climb outa that pot, if indeed it was playin' possum.

When she got back to the house, out came the pine sol an' she scrubbed the rug...then let Lexie...who was still grinnin' an' waggin' outa the bedroom. Lexie proceeded to double check the livin' room for her possum....but it didn't take her long to figure out mom had removed it.

After all this...mom washed up....then seein' us sittin' in our usuall spots w/ bright shinin' eyes an' grins, thinkin' we had done a great job protectin' her oranges...an' we hadn't been gone very long.....an' it was way early.....she gave us each a hug an' our nite time snack......an' then turned out the lites an' went to bed.

The way I figure.....that's two down...an' there's about a dozen or more in a litter...mom should be more prepared....an' have a possum removal kit handy......bet she hadn't thought about this...or she wouldn't have fallen asleep so fast......after all....AHS is doin' their job.

Not a Nite like the Other

AHS log---I coerced mom into lettin' us out at midnite. I had been up in my tower an' missed "last call". Against her better judgement, she let us out, but not before sittin' us down in front of the backdoor an' usin' "that voice an' finger" tellin' us to "come right back!!"

When dad went to bed, he handed mom his lil' tactical lite...an' told her to keep her shoes on. He said that since it had been rainy all day, an' we had been sleepin' allllll day....we'd want to go outside allllll nite. Mom said that wasn't gonna happen...once episode a week was enough.

So....out we went. I zoomed to the left corner, where earlier in the nite, we had chased a possum into Ginger's yard (w/dad's help...he says he just went out there to make us be quiet). Lexie zoomed to the right back corner, where we had apprehended the possum earlier in the week.

Mom was watchin' from the backdoor an' had that lite on me. She yelled at me to remember what she said, "RIGHT BACK!". I immediately left that corner (since nothin' was there..not really 'cause of mom) an' ran down the fence line towards Lexie (an outa' mom's sight...just coincidence...really....<wink, wink>).

Then there was a rustlin'....right on the other side of our fence..the part that backs up into the woods. Of course, Lexie an' I began givin' it a warnin'. Somethin' was back there....it could be a cat, a possum, a r'coon, that wild hog...maybe even a coyote. It wasn't givin' us any response...just movin' around back there.

Then.....there was that lite....an mom.

Yep....she had come out, in her words...to retrieve us before we "apprehended anyone...or anythin'.". She shined her lite across the fence, where we were workin'....said she didnt' see or hear nothin'. An' since I hadn't been givin' off my rare, "I'm gonna eat you alive/balistic/serious warnin'", it wasn't a person, mom said that any critter on the other side of the fence wasn't in our jurisdiction. Upon that declaration...she ordered us into the house. After one last sniff test along the fence, Lexie an' I decided that we might as well go in. Whatever was there, wasn't gonna tangle w/mom...an' us.... an' had gone.

We were waitin' in the kitchen when mom made it back to the house. She said we did pretty good an' we got a reward.

We were still pretty amped up an' wantin' to play, so a game of chase an' biteyface were happenin', when mom said she was goin' to bed...an' if we still wanted to do that...we'd have to do it in the dark...then she turned out all the lites.

Geez.....maybe if she napped durin' the day like us, she'd be more fun........

Out in the Fog.....

AHS Log---Last nite was foggy, not mom's favorite kind of nite to be traipsin' all over the backyard after midnite...but there she was....
Mom had worked late on some orders, an' when she was finished, she started closin' up...turnin' off lites, lockin' doors.....that sort of stuff. I had been layin' by her an' was ready to call it a nite, too. As mom went to lock the backdoor.....she noticed that Lexie wasn't in the house. This isn't really unusual. Lexie loves to lay outside at nite when it's cool. 
So, mom opened the backdoor expectin' to find Lexie on her lil' porch. Nope...not there......mom told me to go find her. I went down the path where she likes to lay by the grape arbor.....nope...not there. I went to check some of her other places. 
All of a sudden, mom heard me barkin'. She grabbed her lite an' went out into the fog. 
That big lite of hers doesn't really do much good in fog. Visibility isn't really good. The nite sounds seem magnified an' all the bushes an' tree limbs seem closer...bigger...darker. As she made her way down one of the trails towards where she heard me, that's all she could see.....then everything seemed to go silent. 
Mom made to the back, where it's more open....not a thing was movin'. She went across the back an' still didn't see Lexie or me. When she made it back to the deck, she found me waitin', but no Lexie. She started over, goin' down another trail to the back. It was a good 15 minutes before she even caught a glimpse of Lexie. A quick glimpse, as Lexie slipped off into the fog as silent as a ghost. 
Off mom went on her trail....trails. I stayed on the deck watchin' the blinkin' of mom's lite....an' the two of 'em goin' in an' out all over the yard, even sometimes passin' me. Mom would follow Lexie, then lose her...then find her again....then see Lexie trottin' off w/her ears back an' flappin', her head up high to keep the tail an' bottom half of the big possum that he had in her mouth from draggin' the ground. (I had warned Lexie to leave it back when mom sent me to look for her, don't know why she don't listen to me). 
As I watched this, I was thinkin' that mom's feelin's about Lexie's ears was changin' a bit. Mom tried callin' her, tellin' her to stop, tellin' her to "leave it"...to "come here"....an' I know Lexie heard some of this, 'cause she'd look at mom an' then take off w/those ears just a flappin' behind her. Mom was not happy about this an' I think I heard somethin' about a tazer. 
This went on for about 45 long minutes...in the fog. At 1 am. Mom lost Lexie. She had tried to cut her off on one of the paths an' then didn't know which way she went. On her last trip around the yard, she ended up back at the deck. 
Mom came inside thinkin' she'd close Lexie's door, the backdoor an' turn off the lites...maybe Lexie would at least come closer to the house, an' mom could bribe her.
There I was inside. There on MY bed was Lexie. There on MY bed by Lexie was the possum. 
Mom had been outside for about the last 15-20 minutes by herself. She closed the door, closed Lexie's lil' door. Took out the lil' piece of pizza that she had tucked into her pocket to bribe Lexie w/, an' gave a piece to me ('cause I'm the good one)...then when Lexie came over to get a piece, mom gave it to her...then grabbed her collar an' locked her into her bedroom w/sleepin' dad.
Me an' mom both looked at the possum on MY bed. She was sortin' thru all the possible solutions....was it "playin' possum or not?" bein' the first problem. She wasn't gonna do that check they show on tv...no way was she gonna touch it....not even w/gloves. The shovel was way out back....again...what if it was just "playin"...she couldn't leave it loose in the house. Finally, she went out to the deck....got one of her big plastic flower pots, kinda rolled my blankie so the possum fell into the pot. Then she grabbed her lite an' told me to come w/her. 
When we got to the back fence, mom tried to dump the possum over it into the field. She forgot, she's short....we've got an' 8 foot fence. There was no way for her to dump it w/out the danger of it fallin' back....on her head. She finally found a lil' rollin' cart that she dragged over to the fence an' that worked. We went back to the house, an' she let Lexie outa' the bedroom. 
After puttin' my blankie in the wash, w/soap an' bleach on the "extra dirty/sanitize settin'" mom turned out all the lites an' headed to bed. I followed an' settled down in the doorway for the nite. Both of us ignorin' Lexie sniffin' all over the place lookin' for her possum.

One for the Books....

Oh my gosh.....last nite was one for the books...AHS log........I was up in my tower doin' some neighborhood surveillance, when it happened. I was shocked, but immediately let out some very loud warnin's.
I saw him comin' from between two houses, down by the corner, an' into the street. Then he proceeded to make his way down the street towards our house. He was stil a few houses down from us.


I was in high alert...I sent out some very stern warnin's. He musta' finally heard me an' figured out that he had been made. He crossed the street an' stopped by the lil' drainage ditch. His head was slowly goin' back n' forth tryin' to locate me.
This was a serious situation...I watched him silently as he stood there. I knew what I had to do....an' ran downstairs. This called for witnessess an' possible backup.....an' someone w/thumbs to open doors an' help to possibly apprehend. I went to find mom.

She was at her computer. I gave her some nudges....then plain as day signals for her to follow me. It was late, so, I'll give her that excuse as to why she didn't "get it". She asked if I wanted out. I let her think that, just to get her up outa that chair. Then when she got up...I herded her towards the stairs. I wouldn't let her get to the backdoor. She finally stopped an' asked me to "show her".

I gave her a quick "yip" an' ran to the stairs. As she followed, as went up 'em to my tower room an' jumped up on that bed. He was still there, right there.. across the street.
Mom finally made it up there, saw me..an' she climbed up in the bed beside me an' looked out the window.
She looked out the middle window....an' told me she didn't see anythin'. I barked out a warnin' an' tried to point out where he was.

Mom looked again...but this time outa the side window.....he was on the move an' was startin' to cross the street towards our house. I was really in active mode, now.....I was yellin'. He stopped in the middle of the street, an' I could tell he had zeroed in on me. An' now...mom saw him, too!

I let out some more serious warnin's....an' it musta made him a believer...he changed directions an' went up our neighbor's driveway an' then headed down the sidewalk towards the corner.
Mom an' I watched him till he was outa sight.

She told me I did a good job....an' that I was right to scare him off.
I heard her tell dad that was the biggest cat she has ever seen, an' she's never seen it around our neighborhood before. All I can say is that is definitely somethin' we DON'T need another rogue neighborhood cat!

Just another nite....

My job's done....I'll be in my tower. 

Mom let us out w/the "come right back order"...just about 15 minutes, ago. Our last "out" before lites out. 
I checked in w/mom an' then laid down. Mom finished shuttin' down everythin', an' then asked me where Lexie was.

I got up an went to the backdoor w/mom. We both looked out, mom whistled....no Lexie. 
Then we both heard her barkin'....an' it sounded way off...I looked at mom for comfirmation about the same time she gave me the order to "go find Lexie!". 

Off I went towards the back fence, while mom grabbed her lite. Then she was right behind me. 
It was quiet. I went to the corner an' looked around the back of dad's shed an' mom's greenhouse. Mom shined her lite....we didn't see anythin'....didn't hear anythin'. Nothin' was makin' any noise an' nothin' was movin'...an' no Lexie. 

That corner is notorious for possums. It's the fence between our yard an' Ginger's. An' Ginger's dad has a big shed in that corner an' a big tree....an' worse...a big possum den. They multlply an' climb that tree an' go down our fence line an' eat mom's oranges. 
Mom was afraid Lexie had dug under the fence or somethin'...an' since she can't hear...mom was startin' to get a nigglin' panic. But I was there an' I knew I'd find her. 

I started trackin' her...an' mom was callin' an' whistlin', an' we both made our way outa that corner an' around the front of dad's shed.....

Then we heard her barkin'...an' lots of noise from inside dad's shed! Mom noticed that one side of the doors to the shed, was completely off the track an' layin' half inside. She moved it and shined her lite inside just in time to see a black n' tan shape climb over the lil' tractor in there an' disappear to the far back. 

Bein' mom....she just ripped that door completely off the track an' moved it outside. Then got Lexie's attention an' told her to get to the house. I'm guessin' that last barkin' of Lexie's was 'cause she had been successful in breakin' into dad's shed...but had successfully trapped herself inside, lol. 
Anyway, I didn't had to be told to go to the house....I kinda figured I was on the "good" list, Lexie had been found...an' after watchin' mom rip that door off...just maybe stayin' on that "good list" might be a good move. I was pretty sure she wasn't happy, especially since now, she had to reblock the entry to that shed in the dark. 

After she did that, mom went to the house, where I was waitin', but no Lexie. Mom wasn't in the mood to go huntin' her, so she got her police whistle an' used it. (She's startin' to use this more an' more). Lexie came to the house w/a big grin....an' soakin' wet. Guess she got hot climbin' all over in that shed an' decided to take a dip in her pond to cool off. She ran in the house an' jumped on the couch. Mom made her get down, then Lexie jumped on dad's chair an' laid down. Mom made her get down....an' then Lexie went an' rolled all over MY bed! It was like musical chairs, w/out the music. Mom finally got ahold of her an' toweled her off. Believe it or not...but she was just wet...no mud at all! An' still grinnin'! 
Now, Lexie's mostly dried off....I'm in my tower....outside is closed....an' mom's loaded the washin' machine w/towels an' blankets (from my bed, the couch an' dad's chair) an' is off to bed......just another nite.

AHS log, Sunday 11:30 pm

11:00 PM-

Well......remember me sayin' this kind of weather makes all kinds of critters get bold........it's clear, it's cold...it's kinda bright......perfect for AHS operations.

Unfortunantly......we have a private contractor (mom) who doesn't understand just how much we love our job....nor does she understand the restraints that she puts on us are downright completely impossible for us to comply with.

Dad thought it was awfully quiet outside....an' we hadn't checked in w/mom for sometime...at least 30 minutes or so.

He took his lite (he's got his own now...it's some kind of tactical lite) an' went out lookin' for us.

He found us.

We had a big situation, an' we had been takin' turns workin' it out. Back by the far fence was a pipe....a long pipe...w/a hole just big enough for a possum to scoot down inside...all the way down inside. It's closed on one end....so, naturally....we were workin' on tryin' to move it or lift it up...or somethin'....
It was about 12 feet long....we could see an' smell the possum inside an' at the other end of it. There was no way it could come back out....it was too little for us....too long to reach....nothin' else to do but dig under it. Don't ask me why.....sometimes you've just gotta use the tools God gave you...an' think outside the box....anythin' is better then nothin'.

It was there...we were there....an' we weren't givin' up!......until dad showed up. Then he gave a cease and desist order Although I protest that what we were doin' was entirely legal. An' then he told us to go to the house an' report to mom.

We did. Actually, we were kinda proud of our lil' operation. We had chased it outa mom's orange tree.
For some reason.....she didn't seem as happy......she wasn't smililn'......instead, she kinda had that squinty look an' pointed us both to the showers.........

We know what side our Biscuit is buttered on........

Well, dad.....don't laugh...
but we know what side our biscuit is buttered on. We're airedales, after all. You wonder about things we do, & don't know why we do 'em. Well, a lot of things just come natural, like common sense, common courtesy...& no, it's not calculating..well, not all the time, anyway. Like tonite, mom saved a lil' bit of that taco soup & sprinkled a lil' cheese on it for me & Lexie. We licked those bowls so clean, she coulda' just put 'em back up in the cabinet. (Believe me, Lexie did a second check & even she couldn't detect anythin' left in 'em.). I got finished w/mine first & left my bowl for Lexie's spot check. Passed you in your chair, as I made my way directly to mom at her spot on the couch. Gave her a lil' nosepoke & lick, like I always do, after finishin' w/any special treat. Just my way of sayin' "thank you". She pets me & rubs my back & tells me, "you're very welcome!". 

After a couple of back scratches, I go on my way. Then it's Lexie's turn. She gives mom her thank you, usually stands up to give mom a proper kiss (depending on the condition of Lexie's beard, mom may let her, otherwise it's an "aire kiss"). Then mom, rubs her ears & tells her, "you're very welcome, sweetie". Then Lexie goes on her way, usually out her lil' door. We always do this. Been doin' it for years. Same as when we've been outside for awhile, as soon as we come in, we make a beeline for mom, just to "check in". Just usually a nosepoke or quick kiss. No big deal. 

You're still tryin' to figure out what kind of angle we're workin', aren't you? You think that we might just be checkin' to see if she's got somethin' else, nahhhh....we wouldn't do that, it'd be too obvious. We're smarter than that...remember, we're 'dales.

The Bestest mornin'.......

You know there's that time b'tween nite an' day....when everythin' is kinda grey. For some reason there's a lil' mist an' you don't hear a sound. It's all still, not even the whisper of the leaves. Daylite is just peekin' out. It's the bestest of times...well, except for darkthirty...an' maybe midnite.

Anyway, Lexie an' I were chompin' at the bit. We had gone to bed early in support of mom...actually we had no choice in the matter. She took her cold meds an' it was lites out pretty early around here. We could see the grey slippin' in b'tween the blinds....so, we discussed it an' decided Lexie would go wake up mom, to let us out. (No one can resist Lexie when she turns up the charm w/that huge grin an' waggin' tail).

Lexie gave mom a quick nose poke...then lots of wags an' grins...an' of course it worked...mom got up an' let us out, then she went back to bed.

It was perfect timin'.....it was still that "time". The temperature was cold, everythin' was still like the whole world was holdin' it's breath. As we ran towards the back, we could see our breath in puffs of clouds. Then....it happened! Everythin' stretched an' woke up! The day had really started, an' we were there to see it happen. There was a squirrel comin' out of that nest in dad's pecan tree...an' we surprised him just as he was gettin' to the fence. The birds were flyin' to the back corner where dad put out some wild bird seed. For some reason, those big blue ones don't like the lil' red ones, an' chase 'em off. Lexie an' I don't get involved in that, they need to work it out themselves.

We covered every square inch of that yard..an' then some.....had a great time. But that special time doesn't last very long, so we were ready to go back inside an' wait for the folks to get up an' make breakfast.

Lexie went in thru her lil' door......but I wasn't feelin' like goin' thru that lil' door. I had other ideas. I stood at the back door an' hollered for dad to let me in. (he's my personal doorman....lol). He got up, an' as he went to open the backdoor.....I went thru the lil' door an' raced into his bedroom. He was right behind me as fast as he could close the backdoor an' follow. But he was too late.

I lifted my head from his pillow with a huge grin, as I laid there all stretched out on his side of the bed next to mom. An' I wasn't movin'.....he tried....didn't work.........he gave up. I snuggled down an' snoozed w/mom till she was ready to get up.

As far as I'm concerned....this was the bestest mornin'........

T'was still an' foggy......

Last nite was one of them still an' foggy nites. Not much movin' around...downright spooky accordin' to mom. Naturally, one of us (me or Lexie) would be, as mom says...."outa pocket" at bedtime.

I was sleepin' on the couch, when mom started turnin' off everythin' an' puttin' stuff up for the nite. The last thing was to close Lexie's lil' doggy door....an' tell her to come inside. The nites have been cool an' Lexie loves to lay outside till the very last minute.

Mom called Lexie, as she usually does, but Lexie didn't come runnin'. Then me an' mom heard her warnin' somethin' off by the far fence. There's been a rash of possums, stray cats an' coyotes movin' about in the neighborhood w/the cool nites. So, mom grabbed her big lite an' the both of us took off towards Lexie. Of course I ran ahead to provide backup an' gave off a warnin' to whatever it was.

Mom got about halfway there, when Lexie ran up to her all excited that she was out there, too. Needless to say, mom wasn't nearly as excited. There she was standin' out in the middle of the yard w/a lite that did no good. As she tried to shine it off towards the fence...or anywhere for that matter...it just bounced off the fog, like a wall just a few feet in front of her. The only good it did was for her to see her feet.

"Enough of this"...mom declared, an' told us all to got to the house. Lexie ran ahead an' beat mom inside. Then mom turned around an' called me. I didn't come...so, she called me again. I still didn't come. She resorted to announcin' that she was lockin' me out. Then she closed the big door, turned off the outside lites....turned around........

..there was me an' Lexie standin' behind her in the house w/grins on our faces. I had beat 'em both in the house......mom's so much fun, lol

Scarred for Life

Mom....I'm turnin' in an official accident report. 

Well, more like a workman's comp report. 

No...it didn't happen here. Actually, it happened on our walk yesterday. I think that should still count. 

Remember when we were walkin' by that nutcase dog that lives on the corner? He & his yard buddy charged the fence & tried to get Lexie? 

I made her get out of the way & was gonna take care of him? 

We were havin' a slight altercation at that hole he made in his fence, before you made me "leave it" & just sit & think about it for a minute. Then we moved on.


Wellllll....just look at my nose! 

It's drivin' me crazy..my tongue has been goin' non stop lickin' it.  

Now look at it! I've got a pink scratch, right down the right side of it!   I'm scarred...possisbly for life!  I'll have to move from the perfectly handsome catagory to the "ruggedly" handsome one.  

Oh..I know the first thing you're gonna say, "I told you so! & to leave those rude dogs alone & stay away from holes in fences"..I know, I know, I know...but still...sometimes, you gotta understand...airedales don't back down from nothin'. He started it! I wanna file a complaint or somethin'!!!  I deserve compensation!

....in the meantime..can I borrow your black marker?

Mornin' Restart......

All I can say is ...we did our job. AHS at it's best.

Dad let us out, before he left for work....about 3-3:30am. Lexie an' I were out there for awhile......oh, he heard us barkin'...an' called us in. That's when we did a lil' tag teamin' him. First, I came in....Lexie started barkin'...so, I went back out...an' then she came in. Dad got mom's lite an' went out to call me....so, Lexie came back out.

Then dad walked around lookin' for us an' could only see "black n' tan" flashes go by as he "wandered" around the the yard w/mom's lite. He finally gave up an' came back into the house, only to find us layin' in our bed, lol. 

When mom got up, she got her coffee an' opened up the "outside". We ran out, an' she followed....or at least started to. Right there in front of Lexie's lil' porch...was a possum...a kinda ...how to say it....hmmm...."playin' possum perpetually"?. An' on Lexie's porch....a couple of very clean avocado pits.
Turnin' around, mom took her coffee back in the house...mutterin' that this wasn't her idea of how to start her day....especially without even havin' that first cup of coffee. Hey....I don't know what her complaint was....we left it all outside.

So, she gets her lil' shovel an' scoops up the possum..then put it in the big brown paper bag she's been puttin' lil' limb cuttings in. Then puts the bag out on the curb for the trash mens.

After that...she tries to start her mornin' again....gets her coffee, goes outside...we go out there to do another patrol....it all goes pretty good....as far as she's concerned, 'cause it was uneventful.
We all go back in the house.....an' she gets busy doin' stuff. Lexie an' I settle in for a nice nap.

We all hear a rumblin'....mom looks outside...an' it's pourin' down rain. She looks out front, an' sees her brown paper bag w/the possum gettin' soaked an' lookin' deflated. She can just imagine them trash mens pickin' it up an' the bottom fallin' out....along w/that possum.

While Lexie an' I watch from the window....there's mom in her boat jacket w/hood carryin' a big black plastic trash bag traipsin' out in the pourin' rain to "rebag" that bag. When she came back inside, she headed for the kitchen for another cup of coffee....statin' that she's gonna try to start her day over.....again..
..
Lexie an' I relocated to the chair an' couch to restart our naps.....

Time to Bring out the Big Guns

June 9, AHS report

Did what I thought was a routine security escort for mom, when she went to close her greenhouse. (She's now referrin' to it as the "tomater vault". She opens it up durin' the day, but locks all them 'tomater plants up at nite for security reasons). 

 I don't know about your moms, but mine...once she gets outside, she very seldom goes from point A to B. She went into the green house, came back out w/a lil' spray bottle....an' headed back towards the patio. Seems she saw somethin' was makin' the leaves curl on her lil' lime tree.
 
When she got there, I heard a gasp an' some adult words. Then she reached in an' plucked a lime that had been gnawed on. As she held it up to show me...I had no time to look...I spied the perp makin' a getaway...an' I was after him. He ran behind mom's pots, but I headed him off...he ran back the other way...but I was ahead of him (an' yes, mom was still standin' there w/that gnawed lemon in one hand an' that spray bottle in the other an' thankfully stayin' outa my way...for a change).

Once more, I almost got him..but then he ran up a branch an' got on that fence rail.
I ran along the fence as fast as I could....but then...he went up a tree an' sat, of all places...on the tippy top of mom's greenhouse! Just sittin' up there....mom could see him....I backed way up...an' I could see him. 

 Then mom looked at him...got that squinty eye look she gets..an' looked at her lime. That big rat was lookin' back at both of us...He really shouldn't have done that...mom took it as a..."nah nah nah...you can't get me!". I didn't like it either...an' told it so..loudly! But there it sat...right on the top of mom's greenhouse...just sittin' there...starin' at us.

Well, like I said...mom had that squinty eyed look an' that usually means somethin' not good for somebody. She went back to the house, hollared at dad to get her pellet gun..an not to shoot her greenhouse. 

 Dad doesn't even question mom about stuff anymore..he's learned over the years. He just went an' got it, while me an' mom an' the rat had a stare off. (I've told ya'll before about mom not goin' halfway about stuff). When he came outside...mom showed him her gnawed lime an' pointed to the rat. There was a lil' "pop" an' we all watched the rat roll down the other side of the greenhouse. 

 I took off & went behind the greenhouse an' found it. I sure wasn't starin' back anymore. I did drag it out from between the shed an' the greenhouse, so dad could dispose of it. Mom gave me a big chunk of cheese for a job well done. (an' she did tell dad he did a good job, too, especially since he didn' shoot a hole in her greenhouse.)

Where was my assistant, Lexie? Snoozin' in mom's bed...she missed the whole thing!

Mom's got the itchies.....

Well...three times is a charm. Mom took herself over to a big clinic, today. Since the first one didn't do anythin' for her, & the second one was incompetent an' gave her a low dose med that wouldn't do her any good. She tried to go to her doctor, only to find out that since she hadn't been to see him, he dropped her & she'd have to come in as a new patient...an' he's not takin' any new patients. (That don't even make sense to me).  She was kinda upset by this since he's been her doctor for upteen years. She just don't believe in goin' to a doctor if you're not sick....you might catch somethin' there. She can't help it if she's relatively healthy. She said she'd go to a dr more often if they could make her young & skinny....an' actually see you at your appointment time.

 Anyways, she had another terrible night of not bein' able to sleep 'cause of the itchies. Her face...well, she don't look like herself w/all that red stuff all over it an' it all swollen...so's her neck an' still her arms. You'd think she had mange.  She's never been allergic to anythin'...ever!  But guess what....that funny vine in the back corner she was clearin' out...well, it turns out to be some kind of poison ivy or oak.  She say's it must be some kind of mutant strain 'cause of all the pollution....stuff like that's never bothered her before an' she's been around those things before an' they've never bothered her.  

Anyway, so, she went over to the big 24hr clinic, the same one she went to when that cat chomped down on her hand. They saw her right away, knew what her problem was and gave her some strong meds to take. The best thing....the doctor an' the nurses told her that she should be lookin' an' feelin' better in just a couple of days.

 I've been tryin' to take care of her...but she said that when I lick her booboos it makes 'em itch more, but she appreciates me hangin' out on the couch w/her. The way I figure it, takin' care of her is more important then bein' up in my tower watchin' the neighborhood. Even Lexie has been hangin' around, too. An' just 'cause mom has a snack tray set up has nothin' to do w/it, either. :)

Cocktail sausage

You know those lil' sausage dogs? Well, today on our walk there was a cocktail sausage dog, he was that lil'. We was walkin' by this house & in their garage was these lil' dogs. The fuzzy one was loud & rude. He was makin' all kinds of noise. Lexie did her abrupt stop, where she faces the noise w/one paw up, & you can tell she's thinkin' about tellin' 'em off. But I guess she decided that it wasn't worth the trouble, he was stayin' in his garage & was kinda small, anyway. 
So, we continue on...when all a sudden..out comes this tiny lil' brown weiner dog, waggin' his tail. He comes right up to me. Ok...I'll give him a sniff. We get nose to nose, he wags his tail some more, I try not to step on him...but I gotta go. I mark the bush by his driveway...kinda like a callin' card..and we continue on.

 Uh oh...me & Lexie both stop & look back...he's following us. He's not supposed to do that. Where's his people? Nowhere in sight. Dad says, he'll get bored & go home. We continue on some more. I stop, again & look back. He's still followin' me. I leave some marks here & there (kinda like bread crumbs, he can follow them back to his house is what I'm thinkin'). After about 4 or 5 houses...he looked like he was headed back.

Two things I don't understand....

One-why was he just loose to run around? He was so little,  an' his legs were so short...they just looked like feet, no legs there at all...how could he get away from any danger?  There's no way he could outrun anythin'..an' he's snack size.   

Two- Why do lil' dogs always want to pal around w/me & the big dogs always want to challenge me? I just don't get it. Lexie thinks it's hilarious

Drones

You wonder why you've seen a drone over our yard twice? Really? 

I've suspected you've been under some kind of surveillance for some time....probably because of your big lite in the middle of the nite. 
Oh, I know you're gonna blame us...but you have to be honest....we're usually doin' fine an' handlin' stuff w/out your help. 
An' then's there's the possible disposable of bodies site....they may have you on that....but I'm pretty sure this time it's 'cause your "lil' garden" looks a lot like a real burial site....for like a person.....just sayin'....

An'...by the way.....although we/ve got your back...an' AHS has a sterling rep.....you do have to admit that you "go outside the lines" sometimes.

So close...yet so far

Last nite, mom thought all of us goin' to bed early would be a good idea. Well....you know that sayin' about "best-laid plans of mice and men..."?

Mom let us out, since it hadn't rained for awhile an' she hoped the water had gone down in the backyard. I came right back....of course, Lexie got distracted.

Me an' mom both heard her yellin' her head off in the back corner....I looked at mom to make sure she was aware that we had a AHS situation...then I took off, assured mom knew.

Mom came out w/her big lite to the back corner, where me an' Lexie were. I was warnin' the perp, while Lexie was workin' on access. Mom shut us both down.

She shined her lite, didn't see nothin' but the hole under the back fence behind our horse fence (just in sight, but yet, so far). Then she told us to go back in the house. We both took off...again knowin' that it was long gone once mom showed up.

Mom saw me peel off to take care of some "business" behind a tree. When she got to the house, she stood at the backdoor, callin' me. Finally, after me nudgin' her, she realized I was standin' behind her...in the house. An' Lexie wasn't in the house, an' she had headed for it ahead of both of us.

So, mom started callin' Lexie. Lexie came runnin' super fast into the house....splashin' the whole way, an' leavin' puddles in her wake. On the way to the house, she decided to go for a skinny dip in the pond. Naturally, the first place she went was in dad's big chair...gettin' it soaked. Mom yelled at her to get down....got towels an' started tryin' to dry stuff off...then gave up an' got more towels an' started to dry off Lexie...then everythin' else.

Me?....I was just tryin' to stay outa the spray an' wonderin' when mom was gonna give me my reward....after all...I was the good one...again.

Outdoor Tip

Outdoor tip: When your mom insists on everybody workin' outside, you need to stay hydrated. Forced to "rough it", hose water is almost as good as mom's sink water (which is in the air conditioning..hint, hint...)

Day Lite Savin's Time

Helpin' mom get all the clocks ready. I don't really understand this Saving Daylite biz...it's just changin' clocks, seems so silly. It's been pouring down rain for two days...if we saved any daylite, why can't we use some of it today? Anyway, mom said we have to change all the clocks tonite ahead one hour. I'm a lil' confused on what to do about this sundial watch.
Mom, I guess you're just gonna have to remember to either add an hour, shift a lil' clockwise...or forget about it..'cause it don't work in the house or at nite anyway.

Sometimes you want Alone time

Lol, it turned cool & we were out runnin' & runnin'. Lexie came in so pooped she tried to make a lil fort outa both our beds, then completely zonked out

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Monkey See....Monkey Do

Mom's always callin' Lexie a "lil' monkey". Partly 'cause she's always jumpin' or climbin' up on stuff. But mostly 'cause the is a "monkey see, monkey do" kinda gal. Pretty much everything she knows is 'cause she's watched me do it. (Of course she sometimes puts her own spin on things.)

For instance.....three years ago....

Last nite, she did somethin' new. Here's the deal...back when there was just me (seems like forever ago), I used to play ball outside w/mom. Then along came Lexie, who is so eager to please, she took over the outside ball n' frisbee games. She wanted so bad to do it...I let her. Mom or dad throws a ball or frisbee across the yard & Lexie chases after it as fast as she can. Ever since then, me & mom have a private game every nite in the house w/one of my lil' soft balls or binky. I'll take it to mom...then she'll tell me to "go waaaay back", & I'll back up across the room. Then she throws it, I jump up n' catch it, & she claps real loud. Then I take it back to her, & we do this 3 or 4 times. It's our thing. Last nite, we were doin' this..& all of a sudden, Lexie goes over to her toy box & grabs a stuffed squirrel & takes it to mom. Mom asks her if she wanted her to throw it...& Lexie starts backin' up across the room w/a big smile on her face, all on her own.

Now...you gotta understand...Lexie can't catch..she's terrible at it. (Her havin' only one eye she can see out off..may have a lil't o do w/it)   Usually, the only thing she can catch that's thrown to her, is my big fuzzy ball or her giant pumkin'. Both of which are bigger then her head, so they're hard for her to miss.

Well, Lexie stops about 8 feet from mom w/a look of serious concentration. Mom shows her the squirrel & gives it a slow toss right to her. Lexie jumps up...an' grabs it w/both paws & her mouth..surprisin' all of us. You should have seen how excited n' proud she was as she brought that squirrel right back to mom to do it again. Heck..I was even excited. Guess she's been watchin' me & figurin' out how to do it...& it worked. She's probably the only 'dale that catches stuff w/her front paws in the air, but it works for her

AHS Log-Spring's just around the corner....

Ahhhhh....spring is right around the corner & here at AHS, we're glad to be back in action. This winter hiatus stuff is boring.

 About 2 am, mom got up to get a drink of water...of course, we head to the back door & give her that "look". She lets us out w/her, "now, you come RIGHT back!". We had good intentions, it wasn't our fault....and I did send Lexie in to tell her somethin' was up, while I kept a close eye on that varmit...a loud close eye (if you know what I mean). Well, mom came out w/a flashlite, barefooted & in her stripey jammies to make me quit. 'Cause all that noise was right outside the bedroom window, where dad was sleepin'.

First she checks us, then the roof & then....(I had to point it out) the top of the tree. Yep, right there at the tippy top was a lil' possum, holding on for dear life. That's right...he better hold on tight.....

Mom told us to come inside, & since I already knew, there was no chance of us gettin' it, we came in. Once they make it to the top of that tree, they just scamper across the roof to who knows where. So, knowin' possums....since they aren't too smart, we'll get another chance at him.

Anyway,  Mom closed outdoors again, just in case.

Now, this morning (normal mornin' hours accordin' to mom)...she hears us makin' a racket again. She goes out to check, & Lexie immediately runs to tell her all about it & lead her to the scene all excited like. An' she greets mom all covered in mud & now, so is mom.

When mom makes it to the fence, where I am.....I point out to her our culprit, that is just out of reach. So, so close..but we can't get to him. On top of that, he's slow & maybe stuck.  At least he sure looks stuck.....classic case of a round thing tryin' to fix in a square hole.

Once again, being the CEO of AHS..I decided that to make an executive decision an' assign Lexie the job of keeping an eye on him, freeing myself up for more important things...like warning off the couple of chows that were bein' walked on my sidewalk in front of my house, helpin' mom w/her buttered toast. You know...that kinda stuff.

Meanwhile after a bit, it got kinda quiet...too quiet...mom goes out to check on Lexie. There was evidence that she had tried to dig under the fence in the mud.  I guess the mud got to her an' she had rinsed off in the pond. We found her just sitting there by the fence, soakin' wet, (but w/mud on the top of her head)  staring at that turtle...just daring it to move.

Mom says it's gonna be a long day.