What do you mean it's your "Day Off"?

Interesting morning....first off..I was sure dad forgot to set his alarm, so I woke him up at 3:30 am w/one loud "woof"...really close to him.. Needless to say, he got up (I don't have a snooze alarm..& he knew that my paw was ready to give him a lil' "push" if he didn't). He let us out....then.....he went back to bed. Well, it's not like I have a calendar in my pocket. I didn't know he didn't have to go to work. Which woulda' been A-ok in my book, but guess what happened. He went back to bed. Not only that, he forgot to open Lexie's lil' doggy door. We were stuck outside! We waited, we patrolled (Tthere's not much goin' on at that time of mornin'. the Nite varmits have already been out & about & are snoozin...the early mornin' ones haven't gotten up, yet)...we even tried waitin' patiently. Then we got to worryin' about mom. You see, after dad leaves for work...I get up in the big bed w/mom (on dad's pillow) & Lexie stations herself in the doorway, while mom sleeps....totally secure & safe w/us on the job. We didn't know dad was still there...where was mom?...what was going on? It had been almost two hours...this was not right at all! So, I started hollerin'. Almost immediately...the big door opened & there was dad. There we were sittin' right on the other side. Before he could say or do anything...we zoomed past. Lexie grapped her stuffed puppy (just in case mom needed it for some reason) & we both made a beeline for mom. There she was ...asleep. Lexie pushed her puppy in mom's face, I jumped up & started sniffin' & kissin' to make sure she was ok. She seemed ok...there seemed to be some muttering..as she told us to lay down & go to sleep. Then she rolled over ...then started grumblin' about grit on her face when she pulled up on the covers (which was kinda amazin' that she could, since I was layin' across her chest & Lexie was across her legs.) Then dad tried to get back in bed...I scooted over & managed to get on the edge of his pillow (I was gonna share..kinda). He laid down....then I started wrigglin' & pushin' w/my legs...by the time I was good & comfy..he was barely hangin' on the edge. Mom went back to sleep (w/Lexie's puppy tucked next to her), me & Lexie were snoozin'...but dad..well, he finally gave up & got up. Woo hoo, more room for us!

DRUG BUST

HS--Special Report
Sat. 2/15/2013

At approximately 3:30 in the afternoon (a hot & sunny afternoon), Lexie & I were securing the perimeter of the back yard, while mom & dad were workin'. Dad was puttin' up parts to the new grape arbor, & mom was messin' around in her gardens.  They'd been at it all day. (I have to tell you, keepin' track of everybody is hard work).  Anyway,  all of a sudden...I detected movement & noise on the other side of the fence by the field. I alerted Lexie to stop messin' around in the garden chasin' frogs & lizards & meet me at the fence, for a possible breach.
She was immediately zoomin' across the yard fast & low. We both got there just as two unknown subjects walked by our fence towards the woods carryin' shovels.  We gave 'em plenty of warnin'...to turn back. They proceeded to not only continue on & ignore us...but turned at the end of that fence, to our back fence..then fought their way thru the brush to the edge of the woods.  By this time...I'm just livid & roarin'.  Mom & dad come to see what's happenin'...Mom tells dad to ask them what they're up to back there & to go back where they came from.  He did...they continue on...& ignore him.  I had quietened down while dad was talkin'...but now I was back to roarin'...& Lexie was addin' her two cents.
A couple of things on mom's zero tolerance list is disrespect & punk kids.  (She managed hundreds & hundreds of 16-21 yrs olds....so, she's got this list).
Mom watched them walk down that lil' path..then take a right turn into the woods.....she walked into the house,  called the police...she told them about those guys goin' into the woods with shovels.  Like she said...they were either diggin' somethn' up or plantin' somethin' somewheres they had not business bein'.  The police agreed...& went back in the woods to investigate.
When the police came down our fence lines...mom told us they were the good guys...so, we just kept an eye on 'em.
After awhile....the police came back outa the woods...they didn't catch the guys...but they found a lil' homemade shack & a bunch of marijuana growin'.  They said they'd be back to get rid of the plants & tear down that shack.
In closing...I'm proud to say that AHS can now add "drug bust" & "assisting local aw enforcement" to our files.
On a personal note to mom...I think a bonus is in order.
Bailey, CEO of AHS

Baths n' Nails

It's been cold & drizzly allll day long. You'd think it'd be a perfect day to lay on the couch w/mom & snooze while she watches a movie or somethin'.  Nope!  First, she grabs Lexie & is givin' her a quickie haircut..sayin's she's lookin' too much like a woolie monkey.  Then she popped her into the shower. I was keepin' an eye on the situation, & as soon as Lexie zoomed outa there....I headed for the great outdoors. I figured it was too cold to be gettin' a bath. Dang it....mom had us locked in...next thing I knew...mom was standin' in front of me & pointin' to the back & tellin' me to "go get in the shower".  I went...but I sure didn't want to.  She got me all wet & then reached for my new shampoo...then moved the towels around...then closed the shower door w/me inside, tellin' me to wait. Well, what else was I gonna do?  So, I waited...while she went to track Lexie down.  She had snuck off w/my bottle of shampoo. Mom found it in the livingroom...guess it didn't taste as good as it smelled.  Mom came back &  I was still standin' soakin' wet in the shower stall...wonderin' "what the heck?".  Most people are gonna be surprised I stayed there...but know what?  It's really hard to get surprised by stuff around here...the unusual, is usually the norm. lol.
After our baths we got blow dried & brushed.. Mom had just finished us, when dad came home. Then we all loaded up & headed to Petsmart.  Lexie was goin' to see the vet about her eye. I've been keepin' an eye on it, too. But mom wanted some medicine for it.  We got there a lil' early, so mom decided we needed to get our nails cut. First Lexie was taken back. Then the "girls" decided to go ahead & do mine at the same time.  But guess what...dad came to check on us..& there I was..right behind the counter, standin' on the floor.  No lead or nothin'..holdin' my paws up & lettin' them just grind & file away..w/a big grin on my face.  Now, mom was mad at dad for not tellin' her...so she coulda' gotten a picture. Neither one of them could believe it. Mom's been takin' me to Petsmart for my nails for a couple of years.  The last time her & dad did it (or tried to do it)..there was the three of us wrastlin' on my bed...it's a wonder there were no sprains,  pulled muscles, broken noses or black eyes...not to mention what might have happened to me. (I've never like my feet messed with). After that...she figures it's worth $10 for them to do it, little do they know she woulda' paid much more.  What can I say...I've always thought of Petsmart as a place that caters to me...my vet's there, my school was there...my fans are there....so, I have a public image to uphold...plus I like those cute lil' girls. They always ooohhh & awww over me...what's not to like?

It's a RAT!

Not an official AHS memo..just a lil' note-
Mom...mom...mom....I think you need to stay outa our biz..we're professionals & have everything under control.  I understand you wanna help...but Lexie & I have regular procedures in place to apprehend unwanted "visitors".  We'll come get you, if we need some backup.
I know you were just tryin' to help & were enjoying bein' able to go outside on such a pretty morning, especially since it poured down rain all day yest. An...I know you got excited when you saw us flush that rat out from under the pond fountain & when it rain up into the top of the palm tree. But when you ran into the house to get that boom stick & slammed the door...then ran back outside...well, what did you expect to happen? We had it cornered...but then you spooked it & off it jumped into the bushes.
I was tryin' to keep everything under control..givin' directions to Lexie, sniffin' out the bushes, checkin' out the trees...& watchin' out for you. As you figured out...it got away. After that, you decided to leave us to it..& went back in the house, to do some laundry. I escorted you to the house, since I needed a water break anyway.
You are now aware of our current varmit problem, & I know you have concerns. Especially after what happened next. Just wanted to say "sorry" that I almost knocked you down...but when you made that weird sound after turnin' on the lite in that laundry room..I thought maybe you'd seen somethin'. So, I barreled right past you to take care of the danger......Lexie's dirty rattie layin' in the middle of the floor....
It's ok, mom...no matter how big or "small"...we've got you covered. <3