It's a RAT!

Not an official AHS memo..just a lil' note-
Mom...mom...mom....I think you need to stay outa our biz..we're professionals & have everything under control.  I understand you wanna help...but Lexie & I have regular procedures in place to apprehend unwanted "visitors".  We'll come get you, if we need some backup.
I know you were just tryin' to help & were enjoying bein' able to go outside on such a pretty morning, especially since it poured down rain all day yest. An...I know you got excited when you saw us flush that rat out from under the pond fountain & when it rain up into the top of the palm tree. But when you ran into the house to get that boom stick & slammed the door...then ran back outside...well, what did you expect to happen? We had it cornered...but then you spooked it & off it jumped into the bushes.
I was tryin' to keep everything under control..givin' directions to Lexie, sniffin' out the bushes, checkin' out the trees...& watchin' out for you. As you figured out...it got away. After that, you decided to leave us to it..& went back in the house, to do some laundry. I escorted you to the house, since I needed a water break anyway.
You are now aware of our current varmit problem, & I know you have concerns. Especially after what happened next. Just wanted to say "sorry" that I almost knocked you down...but when you made that weird sound after turnin' on the lite in that laundry room..I thought maybe you'd seen somethin'. So, I barreled right past you to take care of the danger......Lexie's dirty rattie layin' in the middle of the floor....
It's ok, mom...no matter how big or "small"...we've got you covered. <3