Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Beginnin' of the Great 'Mater War of 2013

Now, as some of you may know, my mom...well, to put it nicely...she's not your ordinary type, in fact..."wacky" has been used to describe her.  She's just different. When somethin' happens she don't like, she tends to not mess around. Mom's the kind of person that if she thinks there's gonna be a knife fight....she'll bring a shotgun, lol.  Remember the problem w/the yellow jackets?  They  had a huge nest in the back yard  under some boards? I kept snappin' at 'em..& then one of them made the mistake to sting mom. Dad was gonna use wasp spray, that didn't work..just stirred 'em set fire to 'em & when that didn't kill 'em all, she made a tent w/one of dad's tarps & put not one, but two insect bombs under there. (In case you don't bomb is enough for a house...this was only about 2-3 feet square).  Have to admit, it did work. Around here, you just never know what she's gonna do.  A tree limb gets in her way...she'll get out her clippers...that don't work...she'll get out the chainsaw. Whatever the problem is...she's gonna think on it & come up w/somethin'...sometimes it works...sometimes it don't...but she's gonna try it, no matter how wacky it may be.

Today's problem was her 'maters.  Last nite, it actually rained. In fact, it was still rainin' this mornin'...a lite rain, but rain none the less.  It was cool & refreshin'.  Naturally, we took the nite off from our AHS duties.  In fact, I spent the whole nite in bed w/mom & dad, all stretched out at the foot of their bed, w/ my head across mom's feet.  It was great!  Well, back to this mornin'...about 11 am, it had slowed to a sprinkle, & we all went out to enjoy the cool weather.  Mom headed straight for her garden.  We immediately heard a not too happy sound from her....somethin' had been in her' had chomped on about half a dozen of her 'maters!

Mom was NOT a happy camper. Nope...not at all!  Lexie & I ran into the kitchen w/her & all three of us examined the evidence.  We came to the conclusion that it's that mouse that we discovered in dad's grill the other day.

He was probably a scout for his gang of thievin' mices. Under the cover of rain, they infiltrated mom's garden & vandalized her 'maters!  Just from the look on her face...Lexie & I knew them mices were in for it now!  Whether they know it or not...war has been declared!

First, she decided to get rid of all those plants behind dad's grill.  She spent a couple of hours in the hot sun, diggin' & diggin' up all those canna lilies. She'll probably put some of 'em back & make it look nice...but for now...she's declared those mices aren't gonna have anywhere to hide by the garden...or dad's grill.  She can really work up a sweat when she's mad. But she wasn't thru...she has a secondary' it's not fencin' or tyin' me or Lexie in the garden all nite....although, she admits it was one of those passin' thoughts when she was brainstormin' w/herself.  (Whew! That's a relief...sleepin' in the dirt all nite as opposed to a cushy bed in the AC is not my idea of a way to spend the nite.) What she did come up with...well, you're not gonna believe it...

Not sure where she got this idea....but it sure looks funny.  My first impression was it looked like 'mater snacks.  She put zippy lock bags around each & every 'mater.  Not only that...she stuck cotton balls w/peppermint oil & vicks vapor rub (she ran outa peppermint oil) on the outside of each bag. Like I said...she's fact, while she was sittin' in the livin' room makin' all these bags (about 30 of 'em).  Dad didn't even ask.  This type of behavior is kinda the

 Well...she finally finished all of em. Went back in the house, put up all her stuff...washed the vicks vapor rub off her hands.  Got herself a big glass of cold sweet tea an' headed back outside to see what we were up to. The last she had seen of us...we were havin a game of chase w/some bitey face & wrastlin'.  It had finally cooled off & dad had mowed the grass & it just flat out felt good to romp around.  Mom could hear Lexie barkin' at's the special bark she uses when we're playin' & she's got somethin'.  She wants to play "keep away" with it & wants me to chase her.  Mom saw her first. You shoulda seen Lexie's eyes get big...& mom's eyes get big, too.  There was Lexie w/one of them zippy lock bags with lil' 'maters in it.  (see...I told you they looked like snack bags of 'maters).  Lexie had ran thru the garden, grabbed one, & it came right off the plant...just like a vendin' machine for 'mater snacks.  Mom kinda yelled at Lexie to "drop it".  Lexie initially panicked...& thought she'd "cute" her way out. She ran around in a lil' circle with it in her mouth hopin' mom would maybe play chase w/her, lil' 'maters bouncin' outa the bag all over the yard....then she figured out mom wasn't in the playin' she came to her senses & dropped it like a hot 'tater...or 'mater.  Mom went & retrieved the, now, snack bag of lil' green 'maters (or what was left), an' proceeded to round up all the loose ones in the grass. Then she went back to her garden for another inspection...everything else seemed ok...but now, she's a lil' apprehensive about her plan.

After all that excitement, mom went back in the house, picked up two green beans layin' on the rug in front of the tv (muttered somethin' about Lexie thinkin' she's a vegetarian & shootin' her a look w/squinty eyes). Then she ordered herself a new toy...or weapon....a rodent zapper!  Like I said...she don't like to mess around.

I can't wait to see how this turns out.   The suspense of if any of this works....or.....what if it don't?  What will she come up with next?  What I do know, is that I think we've rubbed off on her....she ain't gonna give up.

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