Procedure for those Black n' White Striped Cats

AHS procedure for those "black n' white" striped cats known as "skunks"_

Persona non grata!! First of all, they are mostly nocternal...which means they come out at nite time to try to tresspass in your territory. An' they are tricky an' absolutely not wanted around the homestead by your mom or dad. They are almost always distinguished by their black w/a white stripe down their back....pure sign of a criminal...an' their scent is decidedly stinky. Chase an' evade is about all you can do w/those guys, since they use biological weapons. It's a catch twenty two situation....you can chase an' even capture....but...once you catch 'em...you can never put 'em down...not ever! They can never "lock, load, an' shoot" unless they have "all four on the floor" an' take aim. Once they do that....it's all over but the baths. It's a tricky situation all around.....your folks don't want 'em around at all.....but they don't want you to chase 'em off......what to do....well, this is one of those situations that you have to decide if it's better to ask forgiveness (be sure an' look pitiful)...or ask permission (not ever gonna happen).

If you do happen to forget an' let 'em get "all four on the floor" an' get sprayed.  Oh my gosh, that stuff is almost lethal.  It'll burn your eyes an' nose like pepper spray..only it smells worse.  You won't even be able to stand yourself.  An' your mom n' dad....well, let's just say they'll hardly be able to stand you, either, an' will have you in a bath before you can even attempt to rub it off yourself. 
Tomater juice don't work.  It'll only make you look like you were involved in some kind of slaughter. 

This is the recipe for gettin' "DeSkunked" for your mom or dad (whoever lost the bet an' has to bathe you)

1 Qt 3% hydrogen peroxide

1/4 cup baking soda

1 tsp. liquid soap  (like Dawn)                                                                                

 First pour the peroxide into a large container (like a water pitcher), add the baking soda, and stir. After they've mixed, add the soap and mix again. From there you can just sponge the mixture onto your dog, taking care to keep it out of their eyes. Wait five minutes so the mixture can do its job and absorb the smell, then thoroughly rinse off your dog. The skunk smell will disappear, never to return—at least until your dog has another encounter.

Security Detail

Mom an' dad took us for a lil' walk around the neighborhood. Not much goin' on....guess it was dinner time for everybody. Didn't even see any cats...an' I've got to tell you, Lexie was ziggin' an' zaggin' tryin' to look for one under all the cars an' around bushes. Dad even made the comment she was actin' like a wild child, lol. 

We did pass a guy mowin' his yard, an' mom had us walkin' in the street since he was right by his sidewalk. Lexie didn't care for that...she insisted on gettin' back on the sidewalk as soon as we could. Mom thought that was good that she knows she isn't s'posed to ever be in the street.
I don't zig an' zag that much...I've got my security persona on. After all, in our neighborhood, ya never know what's gonna happen...an' in the past it has. An'...I've got the whole family to watch out for.

Dad said he was impressed at how I can "bulk up" an' look bigger then I am. Actually, don't know what he was talkin' about...I'm just me. Mom laughed at that, an' said if I was bein' so "noble an' professional" why did I insist on poopin' in someone's front yard everytime we go on a walk? Well, I'll tell you....I'm makin' a statement. I just have no idea why she insists on removin' my statement an' takin' it back home w/us. 

We did have a moment that I got to show off my skills. There were some cars parked across the sidewalk, an' we had to go around. First dad an' Lexie went around 'em...then me an' mom. There were somepeople sittin' an' standin' around a bench by the sidewalk. All of a sudden, out from under that bench came a growlin' lungin' dog. He was tryin' his hardest to get at me an' mom...well, you can just imagine my reaction. I was gonna convince him that wasn't a good idea......mom was surprised an' only had my lead wrapped around her left arm an' hand....an' a bag w/my poop (again, why?) in the other. She pulled me back w/me still pretty mad, but we continued on down the sidewalk....w/me lookin' back every now an' again to make sure that yorkie stayed put.

Dark as Nite......

It was dark as night....an' I'm not just talkin' about the fact that dad got up at 2:30 in the mornin' to go to work......an' in turn woke me an' Lexie up. After all, it wasn't even dawn, yet.

We got up.....went outside 'cause he said, too. Bein' curious as to why he was up so early, we didn't stay out very long. Lexie went to the kitchen an' started demandin' a cookie.....I went to the stairs an' demanded he remove the gate an' let me in my tower. He managed to give in to both demands pretty quickly, lol.

I went up to my tower....an' had just settled in to begin my surveillance when I saw it! Like I said...dark as nite, blendin' into the darkness, layin' right smack dab in the middle of our front yard. Like he owned the place. NOT!!

I immediately stood up an' roared a warnin'! He heard me alright....there was no mistakin' what I was sayin', either. Even dad could tell this was no cat warnin' (I do warn the stray cats to stay off my street). He didn't even try to tell me to quiet down......I heard him open the front door an' step out to see what kind of threat we had. An' then he saw it!...now standin' in the middle of our front yard.

I watched for a few seconds, till I saw dad steppin' away from the front porch an' towards that big rottweiler....then I really roared!....warnin' that guy that he better leave an' not even think about gettin' close to my dad! That rottie took my promises (I don't threaten) to heart an' moved outa my front yard to Ginger's front yard.

Dad just watched him for a minute.....an' noticed that he was draggin' what looked like a long lead...an' on the end of it was a big stake.

Don't know if he was tied up in his own yard....or someone saw him wandering around an' staked him out in their yard for his own good. ....In any case...he was out an' about on his own. None of us have ever seen a rottweiler in our neighborhood. Dad said he seemed friendly an' looked like he was waitin' for dad to call him...but when dad didn't, he continued on down the street.

Just as well, as far as I'm concerned.....everytime we'd go to the big PetFest, there were hundreds of dogs...an' the only ones that ever tried to attack me, were rottweilers...don't know why...but they seemed to have a real aversion to airedales for some reason. So, I don't particularly trust 'em. An' I'm sure as heck not gonna let one invade my house!....afterall, mom was still asleep an' who knows, maybe he was waitin' on friends to mount a home invasion or somethin'......I dunno, but I'm markin' this down as another quick an' positive resolution by AHS! Once again, the homestead is safe!

I don't make threats.....just promises

"tap, tap, tap, tap"..........mom had me in the kitchen to fix her mistakes on my haircut. Like that lil' tuft of hair on the right on the top of my head......we heard that, she looked at me...I looked at her. Then she looked out the kitchen window an' didn't see anthin'. So, we both ignored it. Sometimes Bozo knocks on the wall w/his beak...maybe that was it.

A few minutes go by.....then, "tap, tap, tap, tap"....not loud at all. We both look at each other...that wasn't Bozo. Mom still doesn't see any vehicle in front of the house.....she's not expecting anyone......an' even the neighbors woulda' knocked louder then that....it was too weird...she wasn't gonna go to the door..maybe they'll get the message an' go away.

Then....a lil' while later......the door bell rings...twice! I don't even wait for her response....I roar!!!, an' head towards the front door. Mom's right behind me.

All she can see is someone right at the door w/a black jacket an' cap.....she grabs my collar....an' opens the door.

Mom can tell by just feelin' me next to her, that I'm coiled up ready to take care of business. I'm not makin' a sound, but I'm not lookin' at this guy w/any kind of friendly curiosity....I'm lookin' at him to plan exactly where my mouth is gonna go. I'm guessin' that look was read correctly by the bearded strange guy at the door. He jumped back about 15 feet w/his hands up in the air. Mom just said, "NO!" as he tried to mutter out somethin' about just "tryin' to make a livin'" & wantin' to "cut limbs for $90"...then slammed an' locked the door.

I ran to the kitchen window...again w/mom right behind me. We watched as he walked to the other side of our driveway. He had it parked where mom couldn't see it. Then he backed down to in front of the house two yards down...an' sat there. We think he was either makin' notes or someone else got in from where ever they were. Then they drove off slowly down the street.

Mom's thinkin' that they were checkin' out houses to see who wasn't home....or some kind of racket.

At least now they know not to mess w/our house.

Mom says, AHS is worth it's weight in gold. She likes that I don't get all crazy at the door. I say it's always better not to threaten someone.....just look 'em in the eye an' give 'em a promise....if you know what I mean.

London Fog

What a nite! The moon was shinin'..but just made everythin' seem a lil' sinister...spooky (accordin' to mom). Walkin' around, you can't see anythin' but the swirlin' heavy mist...then the trees an' bushes pop out in dark greys an' black shapes as you get close to 'em. Sounds are muffled an' it's hard to pinpoint which direction they're comin' from. It was cold, an' the air it was somewhere between a fog an' a drizzle....mom said it looked like a "London Fog". (I think after havin' watched "Ripper Street", it's still stuck in her mind). With her lite, she could see a solid curtain of teeny tiny water droplets an' not much beyond. There were lil' puddles of water on the leaves an' even Lexie's cone she's still wearin' from her ear surgery, because the air was so saturated. Did that stop us from wantin' out? Heck, NO! That's prime critter huntin' weather!

First, Lexie begged mom to go out. She hadn't been out for a while, so mom took her out. Of course, I went, too. Lexie takes off at a run w/mom tryin' to catch up. I had already disappeared off to ...well, somewhere.

Mom caught up w/Lexie at Lexie's favorite orange tree. Lexie had her nose up in the air an' was runnin' circles around that tree. Mom was runnin' circles around that tree, too...until Lexie stopped w/her cone an' nose up in the air tryin' to pinpoint whatever she was smellin'. Mom put her lead back on an' walked her to the other side of the yard, tellin' her to "go potty". Lexie didn't want to...she wanted to hunt. Mom ordered her back in the house....I caught up to them on the trail by the pond...but as we got to the fork, I peeled off to the left to check out that side of the yard. Mom tapped Lexie on the shoulder, when she wanted to follow me an' pointed to the door off to the right. Bein' on a lead, Lexie didn't have much choice in the matter. When they got to the house, mom got out Lexie's lil' coat, took out the fleece linin'...an' told dad that from now on, if it was dark, Lexie had to wear it. It's got a giant reflective pattern that lites up like a beacon clear across the yard.

Later, Lexie conned dad into lettin' us out. He temporarily lost both of us. Lexie even had on her reflective coat...but she's got this insane ablility to evade capture. He zeroed in on us at the orange tree......an' by us, I'm including the big possum that had one of mom's oranges in his mouth an' was eluding capture. Lexie was yellin' an' circlin'.....I was yelllin & tryin' to remove branches an' climb up the tree....the possum was climbin' higher....an' dad was circlin' tryin' to grab Lexie.

Finally, that possum got high enough to jump to the mulberry tree still holdin' that orange an' scurryin' across branches towards the fence.

I was followin' under the tree an' yellin'. Lexie was, too...an' that's when dad clipped her lead on an' dragged her towards the house. I stayed out there until I was certain that possum had escaped over the neighbors fence w/out his stolen goods. He dropped the orange when he jumped to the tree.

It was a grand chase, all in all. Lexie an' I loved it. We were really amped up.....we were throwin' lil' stuffed squirrels all over the room! An' about 15 minutes after bein' in the house, Lexie tried to get mom to let her out. She'd go to the backdoor an' paw at it, put her cone to it an' snuffle...then go to mom an' even tried puttin' her paw on mom to get to go out. I tried to help an' went to the back door an' gave out a bark......mom didn't fall for it, lol. I think she's finally on to us.....maybe the grins an' waggin' tails gave us away.......(note to self....look more serious).

Bitin'....

Ok...I've seen a lot of people complainin' about their pups bitin'.  I might hear some gasps or some laughs..but it worked for me when I was a pup. 

Us pups just wanna have fun...just like when we were w/our littermates....an' other furkids.....we're just not used to the fact that mom an' dad just don't have the fur or appreciate for our type of play. An' we tend to get a lil' rambunctious an' enthusiastic in our play. When we're w/our furmom an' littermates, "rudeness" or "too rough" gets an' immediate response...mostly from our furmom.

Now, all of a sudden we're left to figure it out what's too rough an' what's not acceptable all on our own. 
My new mom tried it all....the penny can worked for a lot of stuff...I didn't care for that at all, but she couldn't have it w/her all the time.

Finally, she resorted to what had worked for her in the past when she raised Malamutes. They're pack animals...an' follow a strict hierarchy... Mom was the ultimate boss....to break a biting habit, she did what was natural in their world...when they'd bite, she grabbed an ear an' bit it. (just the tip...that's all it took).

One night, I was jumpin' around all over the place havin' a good ol' time.....then jumped up an' grabbed mom's arm an' bit down. I was just playin'. You can just imagine my shock, when she said "NO!"...grabbed my ear an' bit it!!! I had to stop an' think about that! Then I remembered my furmom doin' the same thing. After that...when mom said, "NO".....I would stop. I sure didn't want her bitin' my ear again!