"Additional Duties"

Ok...so, last nite, my lil' chore for mom turned into somethin' else. Not my fault....not even Lexie's...well, maybe lil'...but not really since she probably couldn't hear the perp...

We had a cold front move in about 10pm last nite (I know, right....summertime weather yesterday, an' in the 50s, today). It had started to sprinkle big drops. I was mindin' my own business, just chillin' in the livin'room, when mom sent me outside to get Lexie.

Retreivin' Lexie from outback is just another one of those "additional duties" mom tacked on to my AHS contract. It's one of those lil' addendums in small print, I musta missed.

Anyway, I went out an' found her in the back corner. She headed for the house. I was goin' , too..but then I heard somethin'.

Somethin' had hit the fence, an' that set me off.

After Lexie went to the house, mom heard me. I was barkin' so loud an' furious...that I almost lost my bark. She told Lexie to stay in the house. Then mom grabbed her lite an' came to see what was wrong.

She discovered what was wrong pretty quick. I was launchin' myself as high as I could to the top of our fence. I was livid! Mom shined her lite up there, an' saw the biggest possum, ever...leanin' over the edge w/his mouth open an' hissin' at me....then at mom! That made me even more mad.

I backed up as mom was assessin' what to do.....then I ran past her an' jumped up to the top of that eight foot fence, just missin' the possum who decided to start runnin' down that fence rail. I almost hooked my paws on the top of the fence, which mom wasn't thrilled about....an' then had to kinda twist to nail my landin'....which mom really wasn't thrilled with. (she was worried I'd hurt my back...not me....I was "workin'").

That possum was still hissin'.....an' had just moved a few feet down the fence. Mom found her trusty pole an' was tryin' to get that possum to get on the top of the fence where she could push him off into the field. He kept tryin' to grab her pole w/his feet an' tail....hissin' at her....I was jumpin' for all I was worth tryin' to grab any part of him........she was tryin' to keep him from gettin' on her pole, hold the flashlite, hold the pole an' he was movin' up an' down the fence, I was jumpin' an' tryin' to get him.....it was a circus w/only the three of us.

Finally, he decided that I was jumpin' pretty high an' guess he felt that some of his parts might be in jeopardy. It might be hard for such a small brain to keep up w/mom, the light, the pole, me, that lil' fence rail....an' four feet an' a tail that seems to have a mind of it's own. There was a lot goin' on.

He let go of mom's pole an' climbed up on the top of the fence. Then the race was on.....he was headed for the tree in our yard. Mom an' I took off after him....we couldn't let him reach it. She tried pushin' him off the fence into the field on the other side...but again, that tail kept grabbin' her pole. I kept yellin' an' jumpin'. Finally, she managed to get close enough to use her pole like a left handed batter...an' knocked him off the fence. An' at the same time.....managed to miss beanin' me w/that pole!

It was startin' to sprinkle pretty good at this point......mom told me to go to the house....but I was still pretty hyped up.....I was runnin' back n' forth in that corner checkin' out the fence.....tryin' to make sure that the possum was indeed gone. Afterall, he came from that field in the first place, an' I figured he hadn't really learned his lesson this fast.....so, I needed to make sure.

In the middle of one of my frantic passes, mom grabbed my collar an' told me it was over...an' we went to the house.

There we found Lexie layin' in the doorway w/a big grin, waitin' on us. She missed the whole thing, lol.