Some days take more then One cup of coffee....

Busy busy mornin'.....hard to figure out how to start.....first, Roxy just had to run in an' wake mom up by jumpin'up on the side of the bed an' rakin' her arm tryin' to reach for her face. That woke her up alright....but it's mom's fault, she should really remember to keep all extremities under that blankie...or sleep on her other side. Anyway, she said it was hard to get mad at somethin' w/a big smile an' a tongue that was about 3 feet long tryin' to kiss her...not to mention the excited jumpin' up an down in her face.

Although, when she did get up...she really could do w/out the help tryin' to get dressed an' goin' to the potty. At least she didn't get tripped....but when she's got one leg in her pants an' Roxy's yankin' on the other, it's real concern when she's not fully awake.

Then she goes to the kitchen to make coffee....dad has the broken dishwasher pulled out...an' is in the middle of draggin' it outa' the house. Mom managed to pull off our Airedale Magnet as dad dragged it by her. He got it out to the driveway. Then came back inside an' began unwrappin' the new one that was delivered yesterday. "Ooops" he said...he forgot to keep the water hose from the old one....out he ran to the front, to witness someone loadin' that old one up in a truck an' speedin' off. It wasn't out there 2 minutes!

"Well, good news an' bad news", he said, "....can't install the dishwasher, 'cause I have to go to work....but you can still use the sink, an' we don't have to worry about havin' to wait 'till next Wednesday for trash pickup...".

Mom was ok w/that....the dishwasher's been broken for a couple of weeks, anyway. So, dad continued to unpack the new one....an' mom continued chasin' Roxy around the livin'room takin' lil' pieces of stryofoam outa' Roxy's mouth. This was a whole new level of fun for Roxy...playin' keep away around the coffee table w/mom.....mom not so much.

After about 3 times of this game, mom decided to take us (mostly Roxy) outside so dad could finish uninterrupted. Out we all went....mom moved a big empty pot out to rinse it an' let the sun dry it. She didn't get far....that pot got dropped like a hot tator! Then she was movin', slappin'...pullin' up her pj's to her underwear...then shakin' the legs out...tossin' her shoes.....it was a site! We were all watchin' 'cause this was a whole new level of early mornin' activity for mom....I, in particular, was concerned. Mom was concerned that she was gonna have to take her pants off before gettin' back to the house. That pot was sittin' on a huge fire ant colony, an' they had set up inside the pot, too. It was a sweet setup, too, as far as they were concerned...that's why they attacked mom w/a vengence when she moved 'em.

We followed mom back in the house. She got all the ants off her an' kept her clothes on...but she did get bit in various places.

Dad had moved the new dishwasher in the hole, so at least none of us (Roxy) could get to the electrical stuff. So, mom fixed us breakfast. Got it all laid out....dad gave Lexie her pills...mom was gettin' mine....an' she dropped my arthritis pill.....it bounced on the floor an' before mom could grab it.....Roxy did (boy can she catch)....an' swallowed it.

That called for a call to the vet........who said she wasn't worried about it...to just watch for vomitin'.....but about all it would do was to make Roxy "feel really good"......at that, mom rolled her eyes an' said, "great!"....in "that voice".

Mom gave us our breakfast, made herself a cup off coffee...looked at the clock, which said 9am.........mumbled somethin' about this day was gonna take more then one cup........

Her Nose clicked ON!

AHS- Official report

After almost a week of rain, standin' water(we still have some)...an' the backyard ..swampy, it was time to get back to our regular patrols last nite.

Dad didn't come home from work until after dark...an' dinner, so me an' Lexie were takin' turns on perimeter duty. (One of us has to stay inside in case mom has a problem..especially w/the "wild child"). Plus, she was debonin' chicken for us...an' there is an issue of quality control that I like to take part in. So, I was inside w/Roxy an' mom...an" it was Lexie's turn outback.

Then dad came home.

He wasn't home in time to even change clothes, before there was all this hollarin' from mom...at Lexie (which is usless, since at the best of times she doesn't hear mom yellin' "NO"). I had followed dad to his bedroom to get my mentos mint. (I figure he owes me for babysittin' everybody...includin' mom).

Immediately, I raced to the livin'room....Roxy was bouncin' around, mom was standin' there w/chickeny hands, Lexie was pickin' somethin' up off the rug an' takin' it to Roxy's bed...an' dad was tryin' to see what the #$@@ was goin' on.

All mom could do was (besides still yellin' "NO" & "OUTSID") was grab me an Lexie....

Roxy (almost 16 wks old) was beside herself....this was the most excitin' thing...EVER!! She was tryin' to get in there to see, but we were all blockin' her. Me especially..heck, it was almost as big as she is, no way I was lettin' her even close to it......Dad went right out on the patio an' came back w/his big BBQ gloves...an' removed the giant possum off Roxy's bed. Mom was still holdin' on to us as dad went out back to dispose of the criminal.

Finally, mom let me go....I ran outside to make sure dad wasn't havin' any trouble gettin' rid of that guy....mom closed Lexie's lil' door an' the big door, let Lexie go an' proceeded to disinfect everywhere.

Roxy was just still bouncin' around...the excitement was almost too much for her...she couldn't smell everythin' fast enough...the rug, her bed...Lexie.....

Lexie was pretty thirsty....carryin' a giant heavy furry flea bag is thirsty work, if you can imagine. After gettin' a long messy drink, she got up in dad's chair all satisfired (an' rightly so, in my book...at least she kept it off MY bed).

Dad an' I came back. It was a successful mission of deportation. Mom opened Lexie's lil' door.

Of course, me an' Roxy an' Lexie were right back out. It was a normal thorough security check for me an' Lexie...just in case there were more than one that we may have missed or one that tried to sneak in.

But for Roxy...it was entirely a different matter.

This was BIG!

Her nose turned on! Her airedale bred instincts kicked in! Thin's clicked that she hadn't even known before.

W/out even knowin' where Lexie found the possum or there were even other critters about....she ran immediately to the spot....over an' over...then began trackin' the fence by it..an' then checkin' the bushes...puttin' her nose down...an' then up....then back to that spot..over an' over.

I was over on the fence side by Lexie's pond, when I gave chase to another one. I was yellin' as we ran down the fence line. Roxy stopped where she was still checkin' out the crime scene, ran to the patio...an listened to me. She was torn between goin' to see what I was after, or goin' in the house if there was danger. Then she saw me headin' back. It had retreated back over the fence. She ran to me, still all excited an' wantin' to play. I told her this was serious bizness an' we weren't playin'. Then I gave her a nudge...turned around...an' w/her followin' beside me...took her out to run the fence line.......she did just that...even picked up where I had spottin' the second one.....Now, she's got that scent filed away an' matched w/what it is.....I may have to promote her to "Jr Security".

Mom called us all inside, sayin' that was enough excitement for everyone. Gave us all a cookie an' fresh water (mine even had ice).

We were all still tuned up..an' played for bit...there was a lot of biteyface goin' on...an' I noticed that Lexie's collar smelled like chicken....an' just maybe that's why Roxy was goin' for our necks, lol

Dealin' with a Temporary Employee

AHS Report----
After mom's refusal to even consider lettin' us do our job last nite....an' even downright declarin' she wasn't gonna be part of any varmit hunt..."no way, no how", is what I remember her sayin' as she went to bed an' declared outside "closed", we had to resort to subcontractin' her job to someone else......dad. 
Technically, she only closed outside on Thursday nite.....we woke dad up w/our noses to the door an' hollarin' at 1:30 am on Friday. ...a new day. 
I knew there was somethin' afoot...an' I wasn't gonna be deterred....security is priority number one. Oh...we've got big fences all around our yard, but that don't stop them critters from climbin' over it. An' they sure aren't just comin' to say "hi" or or somethin'...they're stealin' mom's fruit an' tearin' up stuff...just criminal activity, plain an' simple. 
Dad got up an' let us out. I raced to the fence on the other side of the pond. There was evidence all over the ground.....dozens of grapefruit had been knocked outa that tree...an' as usual...just a bite or two outa each one (that really makes mom mad...just destruction....she wouldn't mind if they'd just eat a few). 
I spied the criminal tryin' to get away...he was perched up on MrJD's fence. 
I yelled...I jumped....he just sat there hissin' at me.
Finally......dad showed up w/mom's lite. (She was still AWOL & asleep in bed...guess she was serious).
He saw that big possum right away. An' I guess he's been payin' attention to what the job entails, 'cause he got mom's bit pole an' started tryin' to knock that possum off that fence into the other yard. I'm ok w/that...as long as it's not my yard....don't care what they do over there.
So, he poked....that possum stood up...an' that pole when under him. Dad tried again....an' the same thin' happened....it woulda' been funny, if I wasn't so mad an' frustrated. Finally, dad tried to knock him off.....
Then it happened....now, this was dad's first time an' he was a lil' surprised. That possum grabbed the pole, an' he wasn't lettin' go...no matter what dad did. Finally, dad pulled his pole back off the fence.....with the possum on the end of it, lookin' at dad an' thinkin' about gettin' closer an' takin' that pole away from dad. 
I was jumpin', yellin'....dad's got the pole, the possum's got the other end of the pole....there was only one thin' to do....
Dad dropped the pole.
That possum took off like lightnin'....into the garden by the pond w/the big crepe myrtle trees an' all them ginger plants....it was dark, but I was on him just as fast....we rolled an' ......he disappeared up one of them trees......I looked an' looked.
Dad figured he was done, so he went back to the house. After about 15 minutes of trackin'.....makin' sure the possum wasn't on the ground....I headed back to the house, too. 
I've learned that once they get up in the trees...there's not much you can do...they'll stay up there all nite. An' well, my bed is much more comfortable then the ground......there's always tonite.....
Sidenote.....not sure if dad's a good substitute for mom....then again...she's had more practice w/pole grabbin' critters. In any case, I give him an "A" for effort. An' I'm not gonna tell him about some of the other thin's that happen on our nite operations, don't want to scare him off.

Security is a 24/7 Job

Mom's worried about me....an' to be frank...I'm a lil' worried, too. But not about me...I've got a security issue.
For the last couple of nites, I've been spendin' a lot of time outside...sittin' on the deck, lookin' out into the dark...or layin' there.....an' doin' extra patrols along our fence line. An' then doin' it early in the mornin', too. 
Mom think's it's unusual an' that's why she's worried. Everyone knows that I prefer stayin' inside. Lexie's got the outside guard duty, especially at nite. (oh..an' btw...she's out there w/me)
Mom oughta know that somethin's up....Dad an' I went out at dark thirty. We had just cleared the grape arbor, when I zoomed off to the far corner yellin' at the top of my lungs. He came 'round to see what was goin' on...an' I tried to tell him it went over the corner of the fence, but he didn't see nothin'. It was fast, that I can tell you.....oh...an' it's been all along that fence..... There's been lots of evidence. Lexie an' I have been trackin' it all over the yard. 
Mom an' dad don't know if it's a cat...or a raccoon. We've had a couple of possums, but they don't move that fast, an' we usually catch 'em eatin' mom's oranges or grapefruits...an' as soon as they can get in a tree..well, they just get higher an' stay there. They don't race an' jump a 8 foot wood fence.
Tonite, mom's made us come inside......so, we'll have to just wait an' see if it comes back in the mornin'. Dad gets up super early, so we'll get another chance at it. For some reason, mom doesn't want us workin' any security operation late tonite. I just don't know if we're gonna be able to keep her on, if she don't want to participate. AHS is a reactionary outfit...we have no control over the hours that those criminal varmits keep. We can't operate effectively workin' just 9-5......especially when that's when we do our power nappin'.........

Help...I'm stuck.....

I really don't get the respect I derserve......I respect their stuff........



Here I was stuck......an' I needed help......does mom come runnin' to my rescue?  NOOO!  Instead she's laughin'....an' takin' my picture.....




My tags got caught on that blanket on dad's chair....an' I was tryin' really hard not to damage it or pull it off his chair.....do I get any thanks?   NOOOOOO!  Just laughed at!!

What adventure?

Oh my gosh.....it's really funny...but I do have to worry about mom, sometimes.

It rained pretty much all day, yesterday, finally kinda clearin' up last nite. It was damp an' foggy...just how Lexie an' I like it.

We knew that the critters like it like that, too. An' after beein' cooped up in the house w/mom all day, we were rarin' to go as soon as mom let us out.

We zoomed out.....mom checked the weather an' since it looked like it wasn't gonna rain, she didn't even bother givin' us that "come right back" speech. (as if we even hung around long enough to have heard it, anyway).

Lexie ran right over to check if Ginger was out. (She wasn't)...then proceeded to patrol on that side of the yard around the greenhouse. I ran off to the right side of the yard to check that area out.

We met up around the orange trees. There's always somethin' in there tryin' to steal mom's oranges. But, I guess we were too early. So, we just enjoyed bein' out. It was a lil cooler, so we got to just playin'.

All excited like, we ran into the house midchase. Lexie likes to use dad's chair as "base", So, she jumped up in it hard enough to make it rock. I ran up to mom to let her know we were back an' everythin' was ok....an' to see if she wanted to join us in play.

She was busy makin' somethin'...so, I went back to Lexie.

Mom hadn't told us to stay inside, so we took advantage of that an' went back outside.

Mom saw us leave.....then it clicked on her that Lexie went out kinda careful like thru her lil' door an'....it looked like she had somethin' in her mouth. Somethin' grey......

Alarmed...mom was havin' flashes goin' thru her head of ...well.....large grey thin's.....we don't have any large grey stuffies.....so, naturally mom's brain was flashin' pics of possums. (It's amazin', really, how she goes there).

She was up from her desk, grabbin' her lite...an' out the door in nano seconds.

I was just makin' my way back to the house an' was almost to the patio. I saw her an' could tell there was some kind of situation an' alarm happenin'. I ran right up to her.....to find out what it was.....heck, I needed to know...did I need to "get" someone, somethin'...save someone....what was happenin'....I was ready!

Then she stopped........

She was lookin' at Lexie, who was just sittin' on the edge of the deck lookin' out on the yard. Lexie turned an' looked at me an' mom....then got up an' waggin' her tail, sauntered over to us, with a "what's up?".

Mom shined her lite all over around the deck an' patio...didn't see anythin'. Then went back in the house. We followed her to the kitchen. She gave us each a treat an' told us that was enough adventure for the nite.

Lexie an' I didn't mind that treat, at all....but we still had no clue what adventure she was talkin' about. As far as we can tell, she startin' to imagine stuff......last nite was nice an' fun, but we never even saw any critters, much less brought anythin' in the house.

It's not about how much you win.....

It was a sad sight.....refused my dinner. Mom was all kinds of upset an' worried. Not only that, I was kinda mopin', just layin' around....until she heard me in the kitchen. 
I sounded angry an' demandin'.....
She came in the kitchen so witness me lettin' out big "woofs"...first at my bowl (that was full of my kibble)...then at the kitchen counter.......finally, I just sat in the middle of the floor an' let out a super big "WOOF"...then looked directly at her.
She got the message all right........but then said there was no way she was givin' me any of that roast beef an' gravy..."no way, no how!" Then she left me sittin' there.
I thought about it for about a nano second....then got up, went to the kitchen door...an' let out another "woof". KInda in a argumentative voice. (Well, at least in a voice intended to tell her how much I disagreed w/her decision.)
She went an' sat on the couch.
I went an' laid on my bed in front of the tv an' the couch...starin' at her.
Lexie had been followin' all this & in support hadn't eaten, either. She takes her cues from me...& she knew there was that gravy on that counter, just like I did...she was just lettin' me do the "heavy liftin'".
I know mom sat there thru at least two shows...of whatever. I still just stared.
Finally, she got up...went to the kitchen.....I followed.
"FINE!!!", she said.
She got a spoon an' put one lil' dollup of that roast beef gravy on top of mine an' Lexie's food.
Lexie an' I scarfed up all that food w/out even gettin' scarcastic.....after all it's not always about how much you win, it's about winnin' the battle in the first place.
Bailey-1 Mom-0