Have a safe & Merry Christmas

Christmas is just around the corner.  I feel it's only right to remind everyone about stuff you need to be aware of...

You have been warned.....

Anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required, addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks and any lone working undertaken by more traditional shepherds in remote locations.
The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to mitigate the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that equal opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R. Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even Royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Have a Merry & safe Christmas!  

Bailey & Lexie test & review the "SUNBEAM GOURMET DOG TREAT MAKER"

Well, we went to our local Petsmart & did some walkin' around.  They were gettin' some stuff in for the holidays, & we saw a display for a Sunbeam Gourmet Dog Treat Maker.  Mom thought that was kinda neat, but she said she needed to research it first (don't know why....it looked like the perfect thing as far as me & Lexie were concerned...no research needed).  After getting home, mom started lookin' into it.  Ever since the scare of all the treats & jerky from China makin' dogs sick, mom's become a fanatic about our treats. We were worried that meant she was gonna cut 'em out, or in Lexie's case slow 'em down, but she just decided she could make better treats & jerky for us cheaper & healthier right here in our home.  Anyway, she found it on the internet & even on Sunbeam's site...but no reviews of anyone that had actually used it. It was just that new.  Lexie & I were disappointed...we really thought this was just the thing to insure we'd get fresh homemade cookies just anytime. We could invision mom makin' cookies everytime she was in the kitchen cookin' for her & dad. That thing just sittin' there bakin'. Mom wasn't sure about this. So, Lexie & I, convinced her to write a letter for us to the company tellin' them we had loads of friends, and we wanted them to send us one.  After tryin' it out we would give our friends a review. Mom thought we were crazy, but she sent our letter out.

Surprise..surprise..surprise.....a  couple of weeks went by, and one day the postman brought us a package. It was the Gourmet Dog Treat Maker....free!!

 Lexie was so excited....
she had to help unpack it.....

Lexie declared it the "real deal"....
looks just like the picture!

Now......we had to pick a recipe....
there were only three, & this one,
 mom had alllllll the stuff!
How hard can this be?

Whole wheat flour, chicken broth, eggs, applesauce, olive oil & bakin' powder.......we're allllll set.....

Hmmm......this is awfully soupy. Mom's gettin' a lil' nervous....she's not the neatest person in the kitchen.  Dad says she should be a chef, 'cause she needs someone else to go behind her & clean up....

You gotta wait for the lil' green lite to shine 

& it makes a lil' beep, 

before you can put the "batter" in. 

First one......& she's followin' the directions...you're supposed to start on the outside of the bones then fill the center......

                                               Yep...this is gonna be messy...

You gotta lock the handle down...and set your timer for 15 minutes.  It don't go off on it's own...guess they'd just turn into lil' bone bricks if you forget 'em....

Lexie wants to know, "Are they done, yet?"

Oh my gosh.....the smell...it was glorious  (mom didn't think so)...all chickeney...yum!

By golly.....lookie there, cookies!

4 cookies....wonder what Lexie's
gonna eat.....

 Mom tried really hard to follow 

the directions on how to get them 

out w/out scratchin' anything 

Oh...& that thing really gets hot...

it's not a toy, so everybody keep 

your hands & paws out  of it.

Yep!!   There's just four cookies.

20 minutes of work, 2 starvin' to death

dogs.....4 cookies....there's no mass

production goin' on here....again, where's Lexie's?

Cause there's barely enough for me...

if I was to eat these...I be hungry again' 

by the time the next batch was done.

I can see a viscous cycle startin'....

Just so you know...they are soft...like waffles.  Hey.....you know the big restaurant trend of "chicken & waffles"? Well...here you go...all wrapped up in a bone shaped biscut/waffle/cookie thing..

She's given up on the tongs...
so much for followin' directions....






And the ladle..now, she's tryin' a spoon....there is just no way to stay "in the lines".....but then again, she's not the most patient or neatest person....

 

Again.....Lexie's askin'...."Are they ready, yet?"

Heck yea....we wanna test 'em!!       

Hey....I think I need to test another one or three...just to make sure I give a proper review....

AAAROOOOOWWWOO......PLEASE.......

Now...she's sayin' they're too hot & we have to wait.......

I think she's just stalling....

They are right there!!!   Right there!!!

Mom....you don't want me tellin' that company you wouldn't let us test em...do you?

We have an important job to do, you know.

See!  Right there......Hey, Lexie...come here.....

 Drats!   Mom heard me....she moved the plate......

Well....I have to say the quality control may be an issue...notice the cookie from the first batch...& the cookie in the last batch.....
But that's the cook's fault not the machine...
Remember I told you that mom has a patience deficiency.

 It looks messy, but it really cleans up

really really easy.

Just a wipe down & your ready

to spend  hours makin' 

fresh homemade cookies

(or bone shaped waffles for your family )

So.....One hour-50 minutes later.....26 "cookies".

Nice warm fresh homemade cookies.

They're soft & have the texture of a waffle.
Basically...that's what it is...a doggy bone shaped waffle maker.
Kinda fun...but not for going into mass production, maybe if you made a recipe that you could keep in the fridge. Then make a batch while you're busy in the kitchen doin' somethin' else. Mom found it difficult being tethered to that 15 minute timer for almost two hours. There really wasn't enough time to do anything else...of course she started doing this at 10 pm....so, maybe during normal daytime hours it'd be different.  It's hard not to be messy...she said she'd like to see someone demonstrate "pouring" that batter into those lil' bones & not drip anywhere.  If you have more than four dogs...you may want to invest in more than one, lol.

My final analysis......I love it!  Lexie loved it! We both loved the cookies!

The production is a little slow, but if mom were to dedicate her whole day

into makin' 'em & not do anything else...it'd be perfect! 

(Especially since we could eat 'em as fast as she could make 'em)

Would I recommend you get one...absolutely. Especially if you have a designated

cookie maker or have a group of kids you need to keep off the street & outa 

trouble that you can assign cookie detail to.  Or you can give it to

your mom & tell her it's a designer waffle maker...the new "in" shape,  & oh, by

the way...you can also use it to make "Gourmet Dog Treats".  

(PS....wait for them to go on sale or clearance)

Lexie loved the cookies, but she says that mom coulda made a gadzillion cookies in the oven in the time it took to just make a couple dozen.  (She's not big on paitience, either)  Not to mention the fact that either one of us coulda scarfed down all those 26 cookies in less time then it took to put the batter together. 

Mom says that she thought it was a lot of work w/little result, and another lil' gadget that she's gotta find a place for...'cause she's not gonna leave it out on her counter all the time. (Dang it) She's already got a lil' waffle maker, & it's a lot less messy, would make more, plus she' sure we don't care about the shape. She'd just cut the waffles in strips. But she's willing to give it another try, find or make up a different recipe, smaller batches & that she can just have handy or add water or milk to like those instant pancake or waffle mixes....and use it when she's in the kitchen cookin' stuff anyway. 

(Oh & she's plannin' on makin' dad some bone shaped waffles this weekend, lol)

One of THOSE Days!

Very quiet around here...layin' low..really low. At 7 am, this mornin', mom was awakened by two ladies ringin' the doorbell. That's all...just the doorbell. No barkin', no scrabblin' of feet..just the doorbell. Half asleep, she figured we were outside...it was prime squirrel time. She opened the door to find these two ladies, that she didn't know tell her that we weren't at home...that we were all the way on the other street corner. Boy, did she wake up & get into action fast. Threw on some clothes (didn't care if they matched or not, grabbed a handful of leads (didn't care if she really wasn't gonna need 5 of them) & the car keys. Out the front door she went, but before she could get into the car, there's Lexie comin' down the sidewalk towards the house. Mom calls her & Lexie runs straight to her & the front door. Mom lets her inside & heads for the car. No sign of me. She drives down the middle street, then around that block, down the far street...still no sign of me. She's not in the mood for idiots that are late & want to speed & are honkin' their horn at her for goin' slow. She really don't care. It's the first day of school in our town & there's lots of kids waitin' for the bus, parents w/their little ones...lots of activity..but still no me. As she rounds the corner to the stop sign, she can see our house. So while that idiot is still honkin' their horn, she stops ('cause it's the law), & sees me at the front door, then since it's closed I go thru the driveway to the gate & I'm pawin' a board. As she creeps into the driveway w/the car (she's worried I'll run in front of it), I come back around & wait for her at the front door. She lets me in, then she goes out back (I assume we're under house arrest, we're quiet, she's quiet). In a few minutes, she's back w/boards, hammer, & nails. Out thru the front, then we can hear hammerin'. Mom thinks that some kids thought it'd be funny to loosen one of our fence boards. There's been a rash of lil' pranks around the neighborhood, kids lettin' off "end of summer/back to school" steam. By 8 am, she's back & made coffee...but it's still realllllly quiet around here. She's still not talkin' to us. I'm layin' in Lexie's lil' bed by mom & Lexie's in dad's chair...we're kinda pooped (we're not tellin' her how long we've been gone). Don't know how long the quiet treatment will last, but at least we'll be gettin' some rest 'cause it's been a a busy morning.

Noon update....dad came home for lunch & mom told on us. He said we were here at 3:30am, when he left for work & let us out. Lexie got up & greeted him, but I just laid on my bed & wagged my tail. He & mom both checked us over real good & our noses are all intact, so we didn't stick 'em anywhere they didn't belong. Lexie had a lil' limp, so mom checked her over & found a burr in b'tween her pads &

 took care of it. We're just really pooped. Dad figures we had been out & about since probably day break or when the board got loosened & came home when we got tired, thirsty & hungry. At least we stayed together & on the sidewalk, mostly...& mom didn't see any signs of trash bags ripped open...so we didn't do any damage to the neighbors trash. Oh...& she even saw a couple of those stray cats that terrorize me....so, I didn't even damage them. She doesn't think we even visited the kids waitin' for the bus, down on the other end of the neighborhood...but that woulda' given 'em somethin' to talk about on thier first day, though. While dad was here, the doorbell rang again....Lexie was on high alert & I went to the kitchen givin' my warning bark. Mom's first thought was..."omg..what did they do?". But it was just a workman that needed to get in our backyard to check one of the utility lines. Dad escorted him back there & then back out. Now, after about 3 cups of coffee & some lil' powdered sugar donuts (she rationalized that she needed the sugar to offset the adrenaline crash she's gonna have)....mom has calmed down. She even gave us a hug, after checkin' us out & a piece of jerky. Now, mom's gonna go change into clean clothes that match & we're nappin', & happy to be home...'cause no matter what...there's no place like home.

5 PM---

Ok...when you thought things were goin' back to normal......they don't. As you know, it's been pretty quiet around here today, me & Lexie napped alot & mom decided to go cut stuff down & dig stuff up in the backyard. (She likes doin' that, says she finds it relaxing). She had done a lot w/the clippers, but was headed for the chainsaw, when dad came home. He talked her into quittin' for the day & 

goin' for a ride to pick up some good fried chicken for dinner. Not to have to cook dinner...she was in the house & cleaned up quick. Then dad said we could go for a ride. Now, I don't know how ya'll are when presented w/the opportunity to "go" anywhere. Us? Well, one of these days mom's gonna get it on video..but we go beserk...runnin', jumpin, grabbin' each others leads...it's a circus. That is until mom goes to the front door & announces that whoever want to go better "come here" & be still. Of course, we know she means it & that's what we do. Dad had put on my lead, & mom went to put on Lexie's. Then we have to "sit" & "wait" while they open the door. Even then, we still "sit" & "wait" until we get the "ok". Then out the door we go. So far, everything's normal & on point. Dad gives the "ok" & out we go....me, dad, mom....ohhhh nooo...Lexie's lead somehow slipped off & she's runnin' toward the street. Mom's standin' there w/her lead & no Lexie. Lexie stops on the sidewalk next to the truck. You could just see all the choices that was flashin' thru her lil' brain...her paw was up, her ears flashin' back n forth, her head was turnin'..she was literally vibrating as she realized we were still back on the porch & she was out there alone & not on her lead. Mom (even surprised herself) calmly walked toward her & told her to "let's get in the truck". Lexie looked at her & then at the truck...still processing her choices. Mom, still calm & even closer, tell her again about gettin' in the truck. Lexie's still right there. Mom opens the truck door & tells her to get in.......& Lexie jumps up in the truck. Me & dad were right behind mom, & I jump in behind Lexie. Dad shuts the back door & then he gets in. Mom goes around & gets in her side & then hugs Lexie & tells her what a good girl she is...then puts on her lead. It was mom's mistake (she thinks she musta' had a brain cell blow up or somethin')...she hooked Lexie's lead on the ring that holds her tags, instead of the big ring. When Lexie pulled on it to go out the door, it snapped. Lexie acted like it was no big deal, but ate up the attention. The rest of the day has been uneventful, just all of us inside watchin' tv & layin' around. Mom's declared that we are still grounded, so no "outside" tonite..which is ok w/us...we're still a lil' pooped from this morning. There's always tomorrow........

My Nose!

Mom....I'm turnin' in an official accident report. Well, more like a workman's comp report.
 No...it didn't happen here. Actually, it happened on our walk yesterday. I think that should still count. Remember when we were walkin' by that nutcase dog that lives on the corner? He & his yard buddy charged the fence & tried to get Lexie? I made her get out of the way & was gonna take care of him? We were havin' a slight altercation at that hole he made in his fence, before you made me "leave it" & just sit & think about it for a minute. Then we moved on. 
Wellllll....just look at my nose! It's drivin' me crazy..my tongue has been goin' non stop lickin' it, now look at it! I've got a pink scratch, right down the right side of it. 

Oh..I know the first think you're gonna say, "I told you so! & to leave those rude dogs alone & stay away from holes in fences"..I know, I know, I know...but still...sometimes, you gotta understand...airedales don't back down from nothin'. He started it! I wanna file a complaint or somethin'....in the meantime..can I borrow your black marker?

The Lost Camera

You know..Lexie was braggin' just yesterday, that we haven't managed to break our mom, yet. Well, we may be close. She lost her camera. Now, you have to understand, she hasn't been even outside alll day, much less gone anywhere. She looked all over..every room, under & in chairs the bed...even the pantry & (can't believe I'm saying this..the freezer & refrigerator). Dad had put some clothes in the wash...& yep, she even stopped it & checked there. Me & Lexie followed her around the first & even the second tour around the house...then we got bored. It was kinda interesting when she went thru the 2 big bags of garbage, we watched that...just in case she found somethin' interesting. All of a sudden...she's just standin' in the middle of the kitchen, w/her hands on her hips & is givin' Lexie the "eye". Lexie is just layin' there, lookin' normal w/that goofy grin on her face. Next thing we know, mom is walkin' the backyard..not once but twice. No camera. She comes back inside, goes to the desk..& is about to start allll over again. We followed her back inside & to her desk. Dad told mom to take a break...it's here somewhere. Mom's tired & frustrated..she picks up her old camera & shows it to Lexie. Lexie sniffs it, & then mom tells her to "find". Dad just starts laughin'. Mom tells him..."I'm desperate & it's worth a shot". Lexie is sniffin' all over the place..movin' pillows on the couch, lookin' behind our beds...her nose is goin' into overdrive. I'm watchin' this & thinkin'...she don't even know what she's lookin' for...but she sure is doin' a good job of lookin'. Mom bends over to pick up one of our toys, & guess what? There's her camera..sittin' on a stack of magazines, right by her desk! In the meantime...Lexie is still lookin'. Now, mom feels bad...first for thinkin' Lexie had stole it...second, for puttin' Lexie on a search for ??. So, she calls us both to her & tells us to go "hide our eyes w/dad in the bedroom:. We go in there w/dad, & he closes the door. In a few minutes, she opens it, lets us smell her hands & tells us both to "find". Wow!! She hid cheesy balls & liver jerky!! It was so much fun!! So, everything turned out ok..we're happy, we got to play a game & got treats. Mom's happy she found her camera...but she says there's still somethin' missin'...her mind. (Note to Mom: if you want..we'll help you "find" it ).

A New Threat in the House

Lexie's following procedure. There is an immediate threat in the house. She grabbed, what she considered valuable, mom's pillow & is taking it to safety. I'm containin' the threat.....

I'm runnin' interference..."Lexie...I've got this!". I just can't believe mom would bring this in our house. That other one, finally died...& now, here's another one! Believe you me...he knows just who's boss around here.. (I could kill it, if I wanted...& if mom wasn't protecting it.).

Oh, it's a lil' quieter, than that other one...but it don't fool me. I've seen what these noisy, rollin' suckin' up machines can do. You cannot trust 'em & don't turn your back on 'em either. Be prepared, like Lexie, to grab your valuables & head for the hills if it starts after you...GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Big Brother & Fried Okra

ya know by now, what a drama queen Lexie is. I was watchin't the neighborhood, from my front window...nice & quiet...mindin' my own business. Mom & dad were watchin' tv, they'd just finsihed supper. All of a sudden...Lexie starts soundin' off from the kitchen. Then she comes runnin' into my space, 'causing a racket & runs back to the kitchen. I'm thinkin'..."what the !?"  I didn't see anythin'...but just in case I go see what's goin' on. She stops in the doorway to the kitchen & starts makin' all kinds of alarmin' sounds...well...I just talk right back at her. Then she does that bowin' & jumpin' & yappin'...I'm talkin' right back..like.."Lexie, what do you want?".  She goes to the counter & then back to me....
"oh...now I get it"...there's a plate up there & she wants me to get it.
Uh uh..no way...this is your deal, Lexie..& I tell her so.
She's really in a hi frustrated state, now. She thought I'd get it for her...did I mention not only are we in direct line of sight of mom & dad, but so is that plate of fried okra.

She's back talkin', pleadin', demandin'...I'm still not gonna do it. I sit right down & tell her so. I figure, that there only three possible results here. Either she figures out how to steal some or all of it, mom or dad gives in, or she'll give up. All scenerios work for me. I didn't have any before, so if I don't get any, it's all good. Since, I'm just sitting here, I'm innocent of any theivery, if they give her some...I'll get some..So, I'm good, right here...I tell her so. 

Lexie races to dad & bounces off him & then back to the kitchen. He actually follows her. She's jumpin' up on him, spinnin' around, makin' all kinds of racket. (I'm still just sittin' there watchin' the action'). Mom tells dad to tell her, "show me". He does. Lexie grabs his hand, lets go, then jumps up on the counter, where that plate is. Then she sits right in front of it. (Lol..I've taught her well).  He laughs & gives her a couple of pieces...and then..wait for it...he comes over & gives me some, too.  See...the moral of this story?  It's always good to have an assistant...reap the fruit of their labor w/out any of the risk. I love bein' Big Brother.