The Battle of Water-ewww

Ok...soooo....some of you may know my trials an' tribulations w/a certain someone.  Well, one of my pet peeves is the condition she leaves  our water bowls.  Oh...I'm very aware of her passion for pond divin'.....snoopin' in anythin' an' everythin'.  The fact she loves to spend every single moment outside, in any kind of weather...usually the messier the better.

The Culprit....Lexie...aka-Dirt Magnet

Oh...don't be fooled.....her beard looks ok in this picture...why?..you may ask...'cause she's already gotten a drink outa not one, but all three of our waterbowls.  Yep, mom gave us each one....then added another.  It didn't help...Lexie runs in thirsty...an' proceeds to drink outa each an' everyone of 'em......

Now...I ask you...would you drink outa' any of 'em?  I take one look at 'em..an' would rather go drink outa' the pond  (which I do)...my place of choice, an' one I demand multiple times from mom at all hours (don't know why she grumbles so much in the middle of the nite...it's not like it's far)..is mom's sink in her bathroom.  I love that cold runnin' water...an' the best part...Lexie's too short to drink outa it.  Oh, I can an' have turned it on myself...but I like to keep mom occupied...it makes her feel important.  Besides, she really grumbles when she finds the water runnin' for no tellin' how long.  I don't see a problem, really, I kinda like ti that way.

Hmmm....what have we here?   Clean...cold...an' w/ice.....water!!!!!

Oh my gosh...this is soooo good.....

This is best idea, yet.   My own personal water bucket....cold water...ice don't melt...and the best thing ..ever..is Lexie's too short to reach the bottom of it.  What do you mean I can't keep it?  It's borrowed?  WELL!   I'm puttin' in a requisition form immediately for my very own...I think I deserve it for all the work an' responsibility I have around here...it's not like I ask for the moon or anythin'....an'...I even got a name for it...."Bailey's Private Cool Cooler".

Let me know when it comes in....btw..do we have to return this one right away?

AHS....On the Job....an' Collateral Damage...

Collateral damage, mom...collateral damage.  You know as well as I do that even the government puts out warnin's about suspicious strangers leavin' packages unattended in important places.  What can be more suspicious then someone runnin' up to our porch, unannounced, leavin' somethin'...then runnin' off? Huh?  If they weren't up to no good...they'd walk up our walk to the front door like normal people.  I don't care if they were wearin' a uniform...it could be a disguise.  I don't know 'em...you don't know 'em.....so, you should be glad to know, that because of my vigilance, they have never been successful at invading our home, an' everybody is still safe.  Once again, they ran off like the cowards they are.

Oh....that was a package that dad ordered...well, still.....it's a good thing I, at least, still follow AHS protocals.  It mighta been an impersonator, you just can't be too careful, just 'cause he had the truck, uniform, an' dad's package...that just don't mean anythin'.....  What kind of "normal" person (stranger) runs up to people's doors an' then runs off in broad daylite like they don't want to be seen?  People up to no good, that's who.  Besides, you've been talkin' about takin' those blinds down to clean....I got you a head start on 'em.......  Now that my job is done down here.....you'll find me up in my tower.....   :)

Lexie wants another Biscuit

It's nice to get recognition an' appreciation from your lil' sister......like this mornin'...all she wanted was another lil' piece of one of mom's biscuits.   As soon as Lexie told me, I went into action an' got mom to give us another one.  Lexie told the story on her FB page.  It's true, I don't always pay attention to her...I've got a lot of responsibilities...but I have to tell you, she's a lil' pest sometimes, but she's my pest an' she's special to me......
"I have to tell you that it's great to have a big brother (sometimes).  I was outside keepin' squirrels away from my daddy's pecan trees while mommy an' daddy were having breakfast.  Then I heard mommy call me inside.....she gave me an' Bailey a biscuit.  (We had to share it.)  After that, she went to do some other stuff.  Me an' Bailey were still in the kitchen....I could see there was some more of them biscuits on that plate.  Mommy an' daddy weren't eatin' 'em....an' me an' Bailey were right there...w/no biscuits..an' we really like 'em.   Soooo...I pointed that plate out to Bailey...he checked it out...then called mom.  She was ignorin' him...so, he went to get her (I followed him).  He told her he wanted her to go w/him...that he had somethin' to show her.  I ran ahead to the kitchen an' placed myself in front of that plate.  Mommy could tell that Bailey was bein' real determined an' serious about her goin' w/him, cause he was bein' loud.  So, she told him to "show her"....Bailey whipped around an' made a beeline to the kitchen, w/mommy right behind him...then he "showed" her that plate of biscuits.   She got the message alright, an' we was sittin' right there waitin' when she got one of them biscuits an' broke it in half.  Then she gave them halves to us.  We were satisified....'cause it was only fair that we got a whole biscuit each....not just a half.  Bailey don't always pay attention to me...but he sure can get a point across to mommy.  :)"

Mom's Family Fishin' Trip

I just dunno about mom, <shakin' my head>.  She goes off on a lil' trip w/dad, they take the boat, leave us guardin' the house.......is gone for days.  Oh...she arranged for M'shell to sleep over, tellin' us that we had to guard her, too.   I suspect that's not the real reason...probably just a ruse for us to keep an eye out for each other an' outa  trouble.  In the meantime...off mom an' dad go, totally unsupervised.  There's no tellin' what kinda stuff they can fall into...especially mom.  She gets into situations here at home w/out any outside help.  Anyway, they both made it home.  As far as I've been able to determine...she's all in one piece...no visible damage.  Believe me, as soon as I could contain myself, I gave her a good goin' over.  Lexie about had a conniption fit tryin' to jump, wiggle, jump, run, jump, spin, jump, zoom..all over mom an' all in about a 4 foot area...not to mention she was soaked an' splashin' water everywhere.  We had heard them pull up in the driveway an' back that boat in.  Lexie was in the pond, an' got so excited, she swam to the deep end to get out an' soaked her rump...lol.  Most of that water was now one the floor an' mom, lol.  (Needless to say, we were a lil' excited).

After we all settled down, an' they finished unpackin' an' mom got the washin' machine goin', she started tellin' us what happened on their lil' trip.  It's a wonder we ever let her outa the house.  I just know it's her...stuff like this only happens when she's involved...either that, or no one else ever admits to it. This is just one of the "excitin' things" that happened...they were all out in dad's boat...mom, dad, papa, Aunt Terry, Aunt Karen, & Uncle Steve, had been out fishin' an' were on their way back.  There's just a lil' channel that goes thru lots of sea grass w/drop offs an' stuff.  Dad's boat's got a thingee on it that tells' 'em how deep the water is all the time, which is important.  Anyways, they were zippin' along w/dad an' Uncle Steve drivin' an' checkin' the depth.  Mom was sittin' in the copilot's chair (she ain't allowed to sit anywhere's else when the boat's zippin', 'cause of what happened last time).  Aunt Karen was way in the back an' Aunt Terry was between mom an' her.  Papa was safely tucked up front.

There they were..just zippin' along...dad checked the depth an' it said 11ft........he turned an' went almost rollin' to the front.  All of a sudden, the boat came to an unscheduled/abrupt halt...a complete stop...it wasn't movin', much less doin' any zippin'. Dad gets himself up, mom looks back to make sure Aunt Karen was still back there an' hadn't fallen off or somethin'.  But she was ok, an' was leanin' over the back of the seat askin' mom if she had anythin' on her face.  Mom was still in a lil' state of shock but was able to say "nooo...well, except for those big splotches of mud all over it (with a lil' giggle, she sometimes resorts to humor in stressful situations...she says it's better then screamin'..lol).

Everybody was ok....but that ol' boat zipped about 15 feet into an uncharted muddy sandbar...an' got itself stuck.  Dad an' Uncle Steve got out of the boat, thinkin' they could push it back off.....but as soon as they sank to their knees in the mud at the front of the stuck boat....they told mom an' Aunt Karen an' Terry they were gonna have to get out an' help push too...'cause that boat wasn't budgin'.  The "girls" looked at that murky water, looked around at ..well, there's really nothin' out there but water...an' finally climbed down to help...w/"ewwww" etched on all their faces.

They got out from the back  an' found themselves standin' in about 18 inches of murky saltwater w/ about 17inches of seagrass ticklin' their feet an' legs...again..."ewww" mom said.   Everybody pushed an' pulled....nada...that boat was stuck!  It had buried it's prop in the mud an' sand.  So...they all tried to lift it outa the mud...you can only imagine how that worked...it didn't.   It was lookin' bleak...but again..everybody was ok...in fact, mom was havin' a hard time givin' the situation the serious concern it deserved.  But like she kept remindin' everyone...no one was hurt...heck the boat wasn't even hurt..it was just stuck...an' that's what that towin' insurance is for..no problemo..just a minor set back...besides no one had  caught any fish anyways.

Then..outa nowhere, there comes another lil' boat...zippin' past on the other side of the channel.  Mom's sure they did a double take seein' this boat in the middle of the water...just sittin' there, w/ 5 people standin' in the water around it.  When it looks like they are gonna just keep goin'...they turned around an came back...then circled around to the other side where dad's boat was sittin'.   They discussed a plan w/dad an' Uncle Steve, and they determine that the best was is for them to swing dad's boat facin' them an' then pull it out that way (he knew the waters an' had probably done this before).

So, they tied a line an w/everybody pushin' while they pulled w/their boat (mom kept thinkin' it was just gonna be a matter of time before the five of them would do a face plant in that mud, but it never happened).  Just in a matter of minutes, they got the boat free an' dad was able to drive it to deep water, again.   Mom, Aunt Terry an' Karen...were still stranded...so, they started walkin' towards the boats, thinkin' they were gonna have to do some swimmin' eventually.

Aunt Karen was in front....mom an' Aunt Terry were followin' behind her..Mom thought that was a great plan, she figured Aunt Karen was the youngest so she could go strikin' out first across all that sea grass.  Then she told Aunt Terry to just follow behind an' if Aunt Karen suddenly disappeared by steppin' in a deep hole, they'd know to go around (not to mention scarin' everythin' luckin' below away).

 About then, the guys that rescued the boat, told dad they were goin' to rescue the "girls" for two reasons. One, was because Mom, Terry & Karen's walkin' had stopped because they had noticed that Uncle Steve was wadin' in water up to his waist an' had collectively decided they weren't goin' there.  An' the second reason was the "girls" were standin' n that water all doubled over laughin' hysterically...an' couldn't walk much less swim...they had totally lost it at that point.

The rescueres got their boat right over where they were, an' pulled 'em one by one outa that water.  Mom didn't even lose her flip flops (she wasn't about to walk barefoot out there).  They even rescued Uncle Steve outa the water.  As they waited for dad to pull his boat up close, so they could hop from that boat back to theirs....Papa was still sittin' safely up in front an' wavin' w/a big smile on his face, which set off the laughter, again.

The rest of their ride back to the beach house was uneventful.  An' gave everybody a super special memory to laugh about.....like mom said, "no harm, no foul".  Dad did get the hose out to rinse the mud off the boat...especially the back....(there was an Aunt Karen clean spot, totally surrounded by mud where she had been sittin' before it all hit the ....).  The only regret...no pictures or video...mom took her camera outa her pocket when she had to abandon the ship....

Other stuff happened, too...like tryin' to fish when you're surrounded by dolphins, or when somebody dropped their fishin' pole in the water between the dock an' the boat...an' everybody had to hold the boat off while somebody went swimmin' for it, or catchin' a giant bullfrog tadpole in a crab trap, seein' herds of skates (like small stingrays) swimmin' across the water like they were flyin', there was also a blood moon one nite, a lil' mini moon, someone caught an oil derrick an' had to rescue a fishin' line...all stories for another time....all in all...it was a typical kinda trip for mom.  One thing for sure.. it's never boring.  

Tis' the Season....for Nuts an' Squirrels

Another beautiful October mornin'...cool an' crisp.  Here at the company headquarters for AHS (Airedale Homeland Security), there's lots to do.  We're finally entering into fall, which means cooler weather (it's hot down here in Texas).  Cooler weather means more activity from all kinds of varmits.  Fall, also means pecan season, an' this year looks like we'll have a bumper crop of them nuts, but it also means, squirrel season (they're everywhere).  We have to be vigilant an' check everythin' each mornin'.

Like dad's pecan trees....since they cut down the woods by our house, those crafty lil' tree rats have been tryin' to movin' into our pecan trees...it's just a horrible situation.  Right now, they get up in them trees an' cut them nuts off (they are not ready, yet)...take a bite, then throw 'em on the ground.  They'll try as many as they can get away with.  Then, when the nuts start gettin' good (next month), they'll be tryin' to steal 'em right off the ground where they fall.......now, that's when it gets really exciting around here...lol.

Not only do they steal 'em....they try to hide them in the dumbest places....like in a lil' birdie's nest, that's just about nose level to me an' Lexie....it's not even a good pecan on top of that.  I think squirrels eat too many nuts, if you know what I mean....they say you are what you eat....

Lexie's been camped out on guard by the pecan trees since daybreak, givin' them squirrels heck....she's pretty effective an' keeps 'em on the move...an' she never gives up.

We've not only got the trees, fence an' yard to worry about...but we've got the pond, too.  Gotta check to make sure all the fishies are A-OK.  It's not a hard job, an' it's nice to take a moment to "smell the roses" so to speak...just to enjoy....

An' maybe..give 'em a lil' poke....just to say "hi".....

Looks like everythin' is swimmingly good here in the pond....so, now back to the squirrel situation, then to see if mom has anymore donuts.....

An Emergency on your part is not Necessarily an Emergency on ours

Today was a real Fall like day...ya know the ones that are cool in the mornin' an' warm in the afternoon....blue skies, an' the sun shines just so...that makes everythin' look crisp.  Well....mom decided to go to the store, while dad was workin' on his boat in the front of the house.  Lexie an' I had a field day this mornin' 'cause them squirrels were feelin' frisky an' jumpin' from one pecan tree to the next....it was exciting...an' maybe a lil' noisy.   I'm not sure how long mom was gone... what with the squirrel chasin', keepin' track of dad an' what not.  But I'm sure glad she got home safely...especially considerin' her unusual speedin' around the corner an' zoomin' in our driveway....then runnin' in the house w/out her grocery bags or purse...she didn't even say nothin' to dad as she ran past.  She did slam the front door, her face all whitish as she yelled our names...then she ran straight to the back yard....still callin' us.  Nothin'....anybody could tell she was panicking as she kinda ran around the gardens callin' us.  Lexie an' I finally decided to go out there an' see what the emergency was an' met her as she was rushin' back in the house. We had been takin' advantage of the quiet time w/her gone an' dad outside to take a lil' nap...me upstairs where I could watch dad on his boat..an' Lexie in mom's bed.  We had no idea what had set her off, but she sure seemed glad to see us as she ushered us in the kitchen for some cookies an' hugs.  Then she went out to get her stuff outa the car an' tell dad she needed him.  Then we all found out what the emergency was that scared her so much.  As she was drivin' back to the house from the store, she looked across that field to admire our new fence.  There in the back corner, by where the woods used to be, was a big ol' hole in our new fence...she could see it from the road.  Boy did she put the metal to the pedal to get around that block to the house.  She remembered we had been out back when she left, an' dad was out front...so, if we had gone on a walkabout, he wouldn't know it unless we came clear around all them houses to check on him.   So...that was why she was in panic mode.  Turned out, that hole was on the section that dad had left the chain fence up on...an' we don't have access to that part.  Whew!!!  You can imagine mom's relief.  Dad got his tools an' fixed it....seems there weren't any nails in the bottom of a couple of them fence boards an' the wind blew them open.  Mom then started kickin' the bottom of each an' every board to make sure they were nailed down.  She pointed out a couple of boards that had splits in 'em an' told dad he's gotta change 'em 'cause they were bad.  Then mom declared that maybe she oughta put up the groceries, since they were on the kitchen floor an' one bag had ham in it......"HAM!"....Lexie an' I had been enjoyin' all this activity..but "ham"...well, we raced to the kitchen, an' mom found us w/our noses in the bags lookin' for it.  For some reason, mom wasn't even upset...she got the bags an' put 'em up on the table an' started goin' thru 'em.  When she found her ham...she opened it an' gave us each a slice.   Lexie an' I still aren't sure what all the excitement was about...but we sure liked the result.

BAILEY AN' LEXIE'S OFFICIAL REVIEW OF BLUE WILDERNESS BEEF TENDON WILD CHEWS

Lexie an' I try our best to test any product that we feel may be of interest to anyone out there.  We try to find good stuff that's fun, tastes good, not made in china (one of mom's criteria), all natural..no mystery ingredients, easily digestable,  an' is worth the money.  This last part is another of mom's criteria.  She kinda bases the cost of chews against how long it actually lasts, an' balks at payin' gobs of money for somethin' that lasts about nano second.  Which I don't understand, 'cause she never has any of that green money anyway...she just uses that lil' card whether it costs a lil' or a lot...it looks all the same to me...but what are we gonna do?  Lexie an' I are "kept", an' we can only hope that she remembers our level of expectation.  Our latest taste trial was these great smellin' Beef Tendons by Blue Wilderness Wild Chews.  It's a good thing they put 'em up high in the store...or they just might have been purloined.  They're not wrapped up in a package, just kinda shrink wrapped an' out there in the open.  She studied the package....the cost was  ($7.99 each) makin' her skeptical...but she was willin' to let us try 'em after readin' that they would "provide hours of chewing enjoyment".  Mom went thru the whole stack an' picked out the biggest an' thickest for our test.  We gave our approval right there in the store...but she said we had to wait till we got home (an' for insurance...as if she don't trust us...she held them hostage in the front seat w/her).

So......we get home...eagerly await for the test to begin.  We barely let her even put her purse an' other stuff down..... I didn't think she was ever gonna get that shrink wrappin' off 'em.  Finally, she gave 'em to us...an' we both made a beeline to the livin' room w/our tendons.

We didn't waste anytime gettin' down to business....they're not chewy like a rawhide, you've got to actually bite pieces off...

An' they're great for teeth cleanin'....'cause you can gnaw on 'em w/those back teeth.....

But..........if you'll notice...this was only three minutes of chewin'.....we've only got about 2inches left.....not countin' some of the crumbly pieces (which we cleaned up after..because they were good).

So....here's our report.....

Pro....They are really really good....an' are a good chew...good for the teeth...all natural, an' we like 'em

Con.....mom says they have to be on sale for us to get anymore or maybe Santa Paws will bring us some if we're good (I'm hopin' I'm not lumped in w/Lexie on that score).  She says that they are borderline expensive...costin' about $1.60 a minute (she rounded up to 5 minutes).  An', once again, misleadin' advertisement....they did NOT give us "hours of chewin' enjoyment".....that was disappointing 

My questions is....why don't these companies ever use airedales to test stuff?  Who the heck are they usin'?  Dogs w/just gums? People?  I dunno...but I just want to put it out there...Lexie an' I are available to any company that would like to have their stuff tested an' given the AHS seal of approval.  Unfortunately, we're unable to give that seal of approval for this product due to the misleading statement...sorry, Blue Wilderness. Over an' out..... 

An addendum.....we made mom send a challenge to Blue Wilderness about these "long lastin' chews"...hope they answer.....stay tuned......