Dealin' with a Temporary Employee

AHS Report----
After mom's refusal to even consider lettin' us do our job last nite....an' even downright declarin' she wasn't gonna be part of any varmit hunt..."no way, no how", is what I remember her sayin' as she went to bed an' declared outside "closed", we had to resort to subcontractin' her job to someone else......dad. 
Technically, she only closed outside on Thursday nite.....we woke dad up w/our noses to the door an' hollarin' at 1:30 am on Friday. ...a new day. 
I knew there was somethin' afoot...an' I wasn't gonna be deterred....security is priority number one. Oh...we've got big fences all around our yard, but that don't stop them critters from climbin' over it. An' they sure aren't just comin' to say "hi" or or somethin'...they're stealin' mom's fruit an' tearin' up stuff...just criminal activity, plain an' simple. 
Dad got up an' let us out. I raced to the fence on the other side of the pond. There was evidence all over the ground.....dozens of grapefruit had been knocked outa that tree...an' as usual...just a bite or two outa each one (that really makes mom mad...just destruction....she wouldn't mind if they'd just eat a few). 
I spied the criminal tryin' to get away...he was perched up on MrJD's fence. 
I yelled...I jumped....he just sat there hissin' at me.
Finally......dad showed up w/mom's lite. (She was still AWOL & asleep in bed...guess she was serious).
He saw that big possum right away. An' I guess he's been payin' attention to what the job entails, 'cause he got mom's bit pole an' started tryin' to knock that possum off that fence into the other yard. I'm ok w/that...as long as it's not my yard....don't care what they do over there.
So, he poked....that possum stood up...an' that pole when under him. Dad tried again....an' the same thin' happened....it woulda' been funny, if I wasn't so mad an' frustrated. Finally, dad tried to knock him off.....
Then it happened....now, this was dad's first time an' he was a lil' surprised. That possum grabbed the pole, an' he wasn't lettin' go...no matter what dad did. Finally, dad pulled his pole back off the fence.....with the possum on the end of it, lookin' at dad an' thinkin' about gettin' closer an' takin' that pole away from dad. 
I was jumpin', yellin'....dad's got the pole, the possum's got the other end of the pole....there was only one thin' to do....
Dad dropped the pole.
That possum took off like lightnin'....into the garden by the pond w/the big crepe myrtle trees an' all them ginger plants....it was dark, but I was on him just as fast....we rolled an' ......he disappeared up one of them trees......I looked an' looked.
Dad figured he was done, so he went back to the house. After about 15 minutes of trackin'.....makin' sure the possum wasn't on the ground....I headed back to the house, too. 
I've learned that once they get up in the trees...there's not much you can do...they'll stay up there all nite. An' well, my bed is much more comfortable then the ground......there's always tonite.....
Sidenote.....not sure if dad's a good substitute for mom....then again...she's had more practice w/pole grabbin' critters. In any case, I give him an "A" for effort. An' I'm not gonna tell him about some of the other thin's that happen on our nite operations, don't want to scare him off.

Security is a 24/7 Job

Mom's worried about me....an' to be frank...I'm a lil' worried, too. But not about me...I've got a security issue.
For the last couple of nites, I've been spendin' a lot of time outside...sittin' on the deck, lookin' out into the dark...or layin' there.....an' doin' extra patrols along our fence line. An' then doin' it early in the mornin', too. 
Mom think's it's unusual an' that's why she's worried. Everyone knows that I prefer stayin' inside. Lexie's got the outside guard duty, especially at nite. (oh..an' btw...she's out there w/me)
Mom oughta know that somethin's up....Dad an' I went out at dark thirty. We had just cleared the grape arbor, when I zoomed off to the far corner yellin' at the top of my lungs. He came 'round to see what was goin' on...an' I tried to tell him it went over the corner of the fence, but he didn't see nothin'. It was fast, that I can tell you.....oh...an' it's been all along that fence..... There's been lots of evidence. Lexie an' I have been trackin' it all over the yard. 
Mom an' dad don't know if it's a cat...or a raccoon. We've had a couple of possums, but they don't move that fast, an' we usually catch 'em eatin' mom's oranges or grapefruits...an' as soon as they can get in a tree..well, they just get higher an' stay there. They don't race an' jump a 8 foot wood fence.
Tonite, mom's made us come inside......so, we'll have to just wait an' see if it comes back in the mornin'. Dad gets up super early, so we'll get another chance at it. For some reason, mom doesn't want us workin' any security operation late tonite. I just don't know if we're gonna be able to keep her on, if she don't want to participate. AHS is a reactionary outfit...we have no control over the hours that those criminal varmits keep. We can't operate effectively workin' just 9-5......especially when that's when we do our power nappin'.........

Help...I'm stuck.....

I really don't get the respect I derserve......I respect their stuff........



Here I was stuck......an' I needed help......does mom come runnin' to my rescue?  NOOO!  Instead she's laughin'....an' takin' my picture.....




My tags got caught on that blanket on dad's chair....an' I was tryin' really hard not to damage it or pull it off his chair.....do I get any thanks?   NOOOOOO!  Just laughed at!!

What adventure?

Oh my gosh.....it's really funny...but I do have to worry about mom, sometimes.

It rained pretty much all day, yesterday, finally kinda clearin' up last nite. It was damp an' foggy...just how Lexie an' I like it.

We knew that the critters like it like that, too. An' after beein' cooped up in the house w/mom all day, we were rarin' to go as soon as mom let us out.

We zoomed out.....mom checked the weather an' since it looked like it wasn't gonna rain, she didn't even bother givin' us that "come right back" speech. (as if we even hung around long enough to have heard it, anyway).

Lexie ran right over to check if Ginger was out. (She wasn't)...then proceeded to patrol on that side of the yard around the greenhouse. I ran off to the right side of the yard to check that area out.

We met up around the orange trees. There's always somethin' in there tryin' to steal mom's oranges. But, I guess we were too early. So, we just enjoyed bein' out. It was a lil cooler, so we got to just playin'.

All excited like, we ran into the house midchase. Lexie likes to use dad's chair as "base", So, she jumped up in it hard enough to make it rock. I ran up to mom to let her know we were back an' everythin' was ok....an' to see if she wanted to join us in play.

She was busy makin' somethin'...so, I went back to Lexie.

Mom hadn't told us to stay inside, so we took advantage of that an' went back outside.

Mom saw us leave.....then it clicked on her that Lexie went out kinda careful like thru her lil' door an'....it looked like she had somethin' in her mouth. Somethin' grey......

Alarmed...mom was havin' flashes goin' thru her head of ...well.....large grey thin's.....we don't have any large grey stuffies.....so, naturally mom's brain was flashin' pics of possums. (It's amazin', really, how she goes there).

She was up from her desk, grabbin' her lite...an' out the door in nano seconds.

I was just makin' my way back to the house an' was almost to the patio. I saw her an' could tell there was some kind of situation an' alarm happenin'. I ran right up to her.....to find out what it was.....heck, I needed to know...did I need to "get" someone, somethin'...save someone....what was happenin'....I was ready!

Then she stopped........

She was lookin' at Lexie, who was just sittin' on the edge of the deck lookin' out on the yard. Lexie turned an' looked at me an' mom....then got up an' waggin' her tail, sauntered over to us, with a "what's up?".

Mom shined her lite all over around the deck an' patio...didn't see anythin'. Then went back in the house. We followed her to the kitchen. She gave us each a treat an' told us that was enough adventure for the nite.

Lexie an' I didn't mind that treat, at all....but we still had no clue what adventure she was talkin' about. As far as we can tell, she startin' to imagine stuff......last nite was nice an' fun, but we never even saw any critters, much less brought anythin' in the house.

It's not about how much you win.....

It was a sad sight.....refused my dinner. Mom was all kinds of upset an' worried. Not only that, I was kinda mopin', just layin' around....until she heard me in the kitchen. 
I sounded angry an' demandin'.....
She came in the kitchen so witness me lettin' out big "woofs"...first at my bowl (that was full of my kibble)...then at the kitchen counter.......finally, I just sat in the middle of the floor an' let out a super big "WOOF"...then looked directly at her.
She got the message all right........but then said there was no way she was givin' me any of that roast beef an' gravy..."no way, no how!" Then she left me sittin' there.
I thought about it for about a nano second....then got up, went to the kitchen door...an' let out another "woof". KInda in a argumentative voice. (Well, at least in a voice intended to tell her how much I disagreed w/her decision.)
She went an' sat on the couch.
I went an' laid on my bed in front of the tv an' the couch...starin' at her.
Lexie had been followin' all this & in support hadn't eaten, either. She takes her cues from me...& she knew there was that gravy on that counter, just like I did...she was just lettin' me do the "heavy liftin'".
I know mom sat there thru at least two shows...of whatever. I still just stared.
Finally, she got up...went to the kitchen.....I followed.
"FINE!!!", she said.
She got a spoon an' put one lil' dollup of that roast beef gravy on top of mine an' Lexie's food.
Lexie an' I scarfed up all that food w/out even gettin' scarcastic.....after all it's not always about how much you win, it's about winnin' the battle in the first place.
Bailey-1 Mom-0

Mom...Helpin'...again....

What's on my mind?
Mom...that's what. I don't think what she did tonite was appropriate at all! It certainly wasn't approved by AHS guidelines. 
She heard us yellin' in the backyard, so naturally she came out to investigate (interrupt). 
I was on one side by the hot tub, an' Lexie was on the other side of the yard by the orange trees. 
It rained this afternoon hard...a real frog strangler. It's done this for the last three days. Our backyard looks like a swamp w/all the standin' water. Mom keep having to check on the fish, so far they've stayed in the pond, lol.
Anyway.....she came to see what I was after on the fence. I'm not sure she was really concerned about that or the fact I was climbin' up in her pots to get to the fence. (well, they were in my way).
As soon she got there, I showed her where that big possum was. She got her stick an' poked it......it hissed at her, so she poked it again.....then it took off down the fence an' hid behind some b'nana trees.....I was right there...about to launch myself up there an' grab it's tail. Lexie had abandoned her chase to join me.
Then it happened.....mom...again....yep...broke protocol.
She braced her lite w/her big stick...then gave that possum a shove. It climbed half up on top of the fence an' was reachin' for her stick.....she wasn't gonna let that happen. Lexie an' I were roarin'.....mom gave it another big poke...an' of all thin's....poked that possum right over the fence into Ginger's yard!
Heck! Ginger wasn't even out there....an' I haven't certified her to deal w/big possums....those big ones have longer legs then she does!
Lexie an' I both put out noses to the bottom of the fence....then looked at mom.....an' then even before she said anythin', we went back to the house.
When she followed us inside, she tried to make it sound like she had helped us by gettin' it off our fence. Whatever.....I know she tries...but I have to say her helpin' isn't always successful in our minds. We went to the kitchen, an' she gave us one of our treats (that's another thin'...they're ours...mom an' dad don't even eat 'em...why do they hoard 'em like they do?). An' then she got herself a cookie. (you can imagine my thoughts on that).

"Ignorance is not Bilss"

OMD....I can' hardly stand it.....I'm laughin' so hard. I really don't know why mom even bothers gettin' in a tizzy....it's not like it's the first time somethin's gotten loose in the house. Remember that time Lexie an' I discovered that big possum in the garage...then flushed it out an' it got in the house? Then was hidin' behind the couch an' chairs while we chased it an' mom runnin' around w/a broom? What great fun...but we took care of it.
Well, this flashed before mom's eyes when dad came home for lunch an' asked her if she happened to get a lil' gift when she woke up this mornin'. An' then he proceeded to tell her that when he finally let us out at 5am this mornin'...he had a lil' trouble gettin' us back in. We were busy.
Finally, right before he had to leave for work, he called us one last time w/"that voice" an' told us to come inside. Since I was done, I came right away...went inside...an' then Lexie was right behind me. But dad looked at her an' closed the door in her face. Even I thought that was a lil' rude....an' Lexie was a lil' confused. So, she went to her lil' door to come inside (she wasn't gonna miss out on his "I'm goin' to work, so here's your mornin' cookie".
Dad opened the back door, again....an' told her she couldn't come in the house with the possum she had in her mouth. He then told her to drop it....she weighed her options..an' then decided to think about it for a minute an' left back out in the yard.
Dad left the her lil' doggy door open an' went to work, leavin' mom sleepin' an' totally unaware of the possibilities. At this point, mom told dad to never leave her sleepin' unawares again....ignorance is not bliss...if she had woken up to a possum in her bed or stepped on it...well, let's just say it wouldn't have been pretty, but it would have been loud. He thought it was funny.
Anyway....before he hardly finished tellin' her, she had both of us out the backdoor w/orders to find that "possum", now!
Ok...it's not like we lost it or anythin'....we knew where it was an' really didn't understand the problem. In fact, we thought she woulda' taken care of it when she came out w/her mornin' coffee an' plant waterin'. It was right there by the back door, where Lexie left it when she came inside after hearin' dad leavin' for work. She knew not to bring it in the house....she was a lil' confused w/what dad wanted when he told her to come in the house.
All I've gotta say is it's all about communication.....an' most of the problem is w/the folks....I tell you....they are a work in progress, 'cause we know what we're doin' in spite of 'em.