Mom's not a barber

I'm hidin' out, but I've gotta laugh at dad.  He said he needed a haircut an' wanted mom to trim his hair.  He even got out his special set of clippers (they're just like ours only his has colored plastic thingees to keep mom from shavin' him bald).  He showed her the page w/instructions an' said for her to "try" to follow them an' not do it like she does us.  "OK....", she said...she put on the plasticy thing an' followed the picture.   After two lil' passes...an' a "OOPS"...an'  (sorry...but it is an organic word)  "CRAP!"....mom turned off them clippers, took off that plasticy thing an' put it all down.  Then told dad that she hoped the barber could fix it.....   On the back of his head there was a ...well for lack of a better description, a chunk cut out.  So, off he went to the barber....when he came back, mom examined their handywork.  They fixed it, alright.  She said all he needs is some tattoos on his head an' he'd look just like that actor  that plays King Ragar on that Vikings show.   Dad wasn't amused.   :)

Deputy Dad

Mom's gettin' lazy....after dinner, Lexie an' I treed (well "fenced" may the be more correct term since he was up on top of ours) another possum.  Mom was comfy on the couch w/her feet up watchin' tv when she heard us.  She says she can actually tell what we're after by the sounds.  Maybe she can...have to admit, she's had a lot of practice backin' us up.  Anyway, she sent out deputy dad (her words), sayin' since it was his day off,  he needed to put in more trainin' hours w/our security detail.  It's ok w/me....I don't mind trainin' him.  The more the merrier, I always say.  He's learned to grab mom's big lite, so I think he'll work out.  He found us about midway on the back fence.  I was jumpin' as high as I could, an' Lexie was keepin' up a stream of trash talk.  Dad shined that lite, an' he saw the possum hangin' on the top of the fence hissin' at us.  He was tryin' to get those lil' orange fruits on one of mom's loquat trees, when we caught him tresspassin'.   Now, he was just outa reach, an' he must be an' experienced one, 'cause he didn't even have his tail hangin' down.  I've managed to drag one off the fence by that method before.  Anyway, dad took a page outa mom's book an' grabbed one of her big sticks an' pushed him right off that fence to the other side.  That's ok.....that means he'll be back (they aren't very smart), an' maybe next time he'll make the mistake of not makin' it to the top of the fence.  All in all, it was a success.  Dad's learnin', he keeps lettin' 'em escape..but he's still new at it.   Just wait till mom's t'maters start disappearin'...an' she goes on the warpath.  He'll change his tune.  After all, if mom's not happy...nobody's happy.

NO TIME FOR COFFEE....

This time change, AHS and mom are havin' a bit of difficulty.  It's gonna be an adjustment...by mom.   Me an' Lexie are gonna carry on as usual.  After all, the varmits don't carry watches or have clocks, either. Like this mornin', right before mom's first cup of coffee, we had a situation.  We tried to solve it ourselves, but we were at an impasse.  After tryin' everythin' we could think of...I went to get mom.  Found her in the kitchen impatiently waitin' for her coffee to brew...she gave me that "what?..you're just gonna have to wait" look...I wasn't havin' it...this was a code red. I gave her a "follow me... now!" bark, one look to make sure she "got it" and took off to the backdoor.  I coulda' gone thru Lexie's door, but then I'd be takin' a chance on mom not followin' me.  This way, she had to come open the door for me (I was bein' a lil' demandin' and not takin' "no" for an answer)....an' by then resigned probably, she would follow me.  She did....I raced to the side of the house where Lexie was still workin' on our problem.

There was a rat under dad's pallet of stuff.  We tried every which way we could, but he wasn't budgin'.  I was sure mom would come up with some kind of solution....an' she did, but as per usual, not the solution I wanted.  I thought she'd pick all that stuff up an' we'd be ready an' grab it (especially since we had it surrounded). But nooooo....she goes off an' comes back w/the hose w/that thing that jets the water out.  Then she proceeds to spray it under that pallet...it worked..that rat took off like his tail was on fire...we were just a nano second behind him as he raced around the house headin' towards the deck by the back door.  We searched an' searched to no avail....in an' outa them gardens, under the deck, even up the pipe by the air conditioner...that's where we think he went....up that pipe an' across the roof...'cause we looked everywhere else an' couldn't find him.  Lexie did most of the grunt work an' it showed..to mom's dismay...but not to worry, Lexie decided to take a quick dip in her pond to rinse off..before goin' in the house.  I'm not sure mom was any happier w/that, though.  It helped that Lexie gave mom time to get that cup of cool coffee before testin' her by jumpin' up on the couch.

All in all, I'm chalkin' this one up as a successful mission....mom's still thinkin' about it...lol.

AHS Office Closed for Repairs.....

We've got a big storm comin' an' mom's not gonna be workin' outside all day, but the best part is...that means I'm gonna be able to spend the whole day up in my tower on my comfy queen size bed, three large bay windows to be able to see one end of my neighborhood to the other end.... in peace an' quiet.  Now, if I could only get room service...

Spoke too soon.....locked outa my tower.  Was all excited about goin' up there, too. It's a dark an' rainy day...but mom discovered why I didn't want to come downstairs yesterday mornin'.  I didn't get up w/dad to go out, didn't go up an' give mom her good mornin' wake up cuddle an' kiss....in fact, she finally came upstairs to find me just layin' on that big bed about 10:30am an' told me to get downstairs.  Then she locked me out, informin' me we were spendin' the day outside.
Just now, she opened it up for me.  She was plannin' on washin' all the beddin' an' climbed up there to take off the sheets.  That's when she found out why I was reluctant to come downstairs.  It coulda' been 'cause I was tryin' to figure out what to do about that lil' window pane I busted...or that when I did it, I cut my paw a lil'.  I sure didn't expect either thing to happen, but I sure didn't want mom to find out, either.
It was that cat's fault!!  He lays right under that window every single nite...just to terrorize me.  To be fair...I didn't even break the screen, so there's no m'skitters comin' in...an' more important, I didn't jump outa that second story  (although, that was a lil' bity pane an' I wouldn't have fit anyways).  
Needless to say, dad's not happy........an' mom said that boardin' up them windows wouldn't be a good look.  I, agree, besides how could I keep watch if they were boarded up?

Show Down at the Ok Corral.....

Show Down at the OK Corral...well, not exactly, more like the Battle of Waterloony.  Went out w/mom to check her greenhouse after the storm last night.  Everything seemed ok, to me.  It did to mom too, at first.  She didn't mind that lil' baby green dragon fly that buzzed her face before headin' outside when she opened the doors.  She even kinda liked it an' wished he had stayed in there.  She said hello to her lil' lizard that's been there all winter an' then checked her cucumbers.  They needed a lil' water, so she grabbed her hose.  I was checkin' out around the t'mater pots in the back, when everythin' just went crazy.  I couldn't get outa there fast enough.  Not sure how I got past her w/out goin' thru her, but I found myself on the outside lookin' in...then I decided to watch from the house.  This was a mom mission not one for AHS.  Not to mention her weapon of choice...well, lets just say I didn't want her to turn it on me for any reason.  Seems when she started waterin' her lil' cucumbers, some kind of big flyin' bug flew up.  Not sure if it was a beetle, horsefly, or wasp...but I do know it was somethin' on mom's hit list an' definitely persona non gratis in her greenhouse.  She put that hose on "jet" an' was chasin' him all over that greenhouse w/a blast of water.  Of course, what goes up must come down.  It was like a rain storm in there.  If she had had a lite saber instead of a water stream, it woulda looked like somethin' outa StarWars, w/it goin' this way an' that.   She finally convinced him to fly out an' away.  I was waitin' for her when she came in triumphant but a lil' soaked, an' all she had to say was, "now, I don't have to water the plants, but I need another cup of coffee...this one seems a lil' watered down."  An' she's always tellin' tales of our adventures, I'm goin' on record sayin' I didn't have nothin' to do w/this one.  I was expectin' a nice mornin' stroll around the yard. Ya' just never know what's gonna happen around here.....

"If you can't beat 'em...join 'em"......

Can't believe mom got up so early...an' in a fairly good mood.  We had her out on a hunt last nite about midnite (unplanned on her part).  It got rather involved w/her an' her big lite.  She was all ready for bed...I was, too...then we heard Lexie barkin' out back.  Mom went to the back door an' called her to come in...Lexie would get quiet (which is never a good sign as far as mom is concerned...she gets visions of all kinds of scenerios involvin' Lexie an' whatever she's caught goin' thru her head..an' all based on past events).  Then Lexie'd start up barkin', again.  Mom tried all the magic words..."come", "cookie", "come in the kitchen"..."get in this house..right now!"...none of 'em worked.  The whole time I was standin' at the backdoor w/mom watchin' an' listenin'.  I was ready to be sent in to retrieve Lexie or take care of whatever situation she had stirred up.....just needed mom's "ok".  Mom finally got exasperated enough to send me out there.  Off I went in a blurr......leavin' mom by the back door.  From mom's perspective....now, we were both out there...an' she could catch glimpses of tan every now an' again thru patches of lite...but it was, again, quiet.  She tried callin' us both...nada...now, we were both on the hunt.  Probably a lil' exasperated, mom grabs her big lite, an' comes out to see what was what an' get us inside. As soon as she got out there...Lexie an' I split up....we appreciated the lite, though.  We were after somethin' in that big garden between the mulberry tree an' the pond.  Like furry bolts of lightnin'..we were zig zaggin' in an' out of that garden after somethin'.  Mom kept tryin' to grab one of us, but she couldn't even keep track of us w/that lite..we were movin' so fast.  She finally gave up an' shined the lite over where we was searchin'....then...as she was movin' the lite...she looked up an' found herself face to face w/the reason for all the hoopla.....a furry beady eyed field rat about 8" from her nose an' hangin' on a lil' branch.  Of course, she did what anyone would probably do in that situation...she swatted at it w/her big lite an' yelled for me.  Lexie an' I came runnin'...she pointed off where that critter had landed an' said "look"....I gave her a quick once over..an' although she had sounded a lil' excited, she seemed ok..so, off we went towards where she pointed.  That rat had landed by the pond...so the hunt was on again.  Guess he was a lil' stunned, 'cause he had gone to ground again, an' we found his trail.  Mom was a lil' mad at that rat for scarin' her, so she was tryin' to help w/her lite.  (Actually, she says it was a case of knowin' we weren't givin' up at this point an' she might as well give in). At one point, we had him surrounded (Lexie an' I make a great team...we know how to go at things from both sides an' work together really well).  We woulda got him, too...but he ran up a tree an' escaped to the roof.   Then mom told us we had done a good job an' it was time to go inside.  We were satisfied an' beat her to the house.  Once inside, we were still "full of it" (mom's words) an' wanted to play zoomies in the house..but mom said we were on our own an' at that point, she turned off all the lites in the house an went to bed, not at all full of excitement.

The Torch

I'm still layin' on my bed watchin' outside...it's been rainy all day...an' mom's been locked in her room all day cleanin' an' sortin'...she started in her closet an' expanded out to the rest of the room an' drawers...

...personally, I think it looks worse then when she started. Stuff an' bags everywhere.   So, although it's a quiet day, I'm still chucklin' over last nite's lil' episode.  What happened was, mom found one of our "torches" while she was pullin' stuff out of her room.  It was late..an' dark...so, she got some fresh batteries an' proceeded to put it on me.  I've worn it before, so it was no biggee.  She opened the door an' out I went w/that torch on my head an' all lit up.  Lexie was right behind me for about a nano second.  I didn't get 4 steps outside before she jumped up an' grabbed that lit up torch on top of my head an' started pullin'.  Now, you gotta realize it's got big stretchy straps.  I stopped...Lexie had that torch in her mouth an' was pullin'...she had it stretched about as far as it would go...about 3 feet...mom was horrified an' was yellin' (she said she could just imagine Lexie lettin' go of it an' it smackin' me in the face). Well, we reacted like we always do when mom sounds excitable like that...we took off.  Lexie still had the strap an' torch with me still attached to the other end, an'  we were goin' off at full speed in the dark w/that lite bouncin' up an down.  Mom had to stop 'cause she was laughin'...an' besides there's no way she could keep up.  All she could do was stand there in the dark an' watch the bouncin' lite make about 3 laps around the yard.  She decided that she might have time to go get her camera an' headed for the house.  We beat her there....but we had lost the lite.  What kind of video would that have been anyway....just a lil' lite bouncin' in the dark?  So, out she goes....she finds it by the fig tree..three straps/one torch/ two batteries/ and the cap.  All I can say is we got distracted by the fig tree an' mom headin' for the house...I went one way around that tree...Lexie went the other...the torch stayed in the middle...lol

The Torch

Lexie modelin' "the Torch"

Now, imagine that stretched out an' about ready to smack you in the face if she let go....heck yes, I followed her when she took off...lol