Dark an' Foggy Nite........

It was a dark an' stormy nite....not exactly, it was more like a dark an' foggy nite where everythin' gets really still.

Dad worked late an' when he came home, I greeted him like usual....but no Lexie.   She was out back doin' somethin'.   He went an' changed into his loungin' jammies from his work clothes.   When he came back into the livin' room, mom asked him where Lexie was.  It's super unusual for her not to greet dad when he comes home late.  She usually beats me to him, an' we usualy have a lil' scufflin' goin' on to see who can get to him first.

Mom's alarm bell in her head went off....she went to the back door an' started whistlin' an' callin' Lexie.   Dad even tried....but there was nada...nothin' ....no Lexie.

Mom grabs her big lite an' tells me to "find Lexie".  We both head outside.  Dad only goes to the patio 'cause he's barefooted  & in his jammies (he dont' have the nite time jammie experience that mom does).  I race ahead to check our our favorite corner, mom follows a lil' slower.  She's walkin' w/all that foggy stuff swirlin' around her feet an' shinin' her lite in a big circle.   Dad calls out to mom askin' if she sees her.  Mom says "no"...then dad goes back an' gets mom crocky shoes, she keeps by the back door,  an' comes out to help look.

By then mom's made it past the big grapefruit tree an' is shinin' her lite across the back.  It's pretty foggy, but it's mostly layin' in a mistly like layer over the ground.  Her alarm bells have now turned into a lil' panic.....a true code 10.   All kinds of scenarios are goin' thru her head.....Lexie layin' hurt (have no idea how that could happen),  a giant hole in the fence (only if someone sawed a big hole in it, an' I'm sure one of us woulda' made some noise about that), Lexie floatin' in her pond (as if...mom's reachin' for straws here)...or someone took her (again, as if....there's no way someone could even get in our yard much less grab one of us).   It was just too quiet...an' no Lexie.   I hadn't found her either, but I did find a mouse in dad's tractor.  Mom said that wasn't helpin'.

All of a sudden outa the misty fog, there's Lexie.....w/a huge possum in her mouth.  She's got her head held way back an' that thing was still draggin' the ground.  Mom calls her...an' then of all things (it was outa her mouth before she could take it back) tells Lexie to, "bring it".   Bein' fresh from her successful quail huntin' experience, Lexie did just that.  Mom's goin', "oh..nonononono..no" as Lexie heads straight for mom w/this huge critter.  I don't think' mom's eyes have ever gotten that big before.   It was like time stood still, as mom's mind scurried to figure out how to touch/not touch that possum since Lexie was "bringin'" it to mom as she told her to.

There was Lexie right there in front of mom w/her possum...waggin' her tail for catchin' it an' bringin' it to mom.  She was just so proud of herself.  Mom was still in the "what to do mode"...finally, she told Lexie how proud she was of her an' to "leave it".  Lexie was still holdin' it waitin' for mom to take it or to at least pet her for doin' a great job.  Mom didnt' want to take it, an' she was a lil' hesitant to pet Lexie since that thing was "right there".   Me an' dad were just hangin' back watchin' the show.

Mom, graspin' at straws again, told Lexie how good she was an' to go in the kitchen for a cookie.  Lexie liked that idea....an' immediately headed for the house....w/the possum still in her mouth.  Again...mom's goin'..."noooo nooo nooo...." an' is on her heels.  Hopin' against hope that she wasn't gonna find Lexie an' the possum in her kitchen.  (Lexie does like to negotiate w/trade).

Whew!   As mom, me an' dad got to the house, there was Lexie sittin' on the patio waitin'...w/her possum layin' there on the ground.  You coulda felt the relief from mom...an' then the shudderin' "yuck" at the site of that critter & his  teeth. Just the thought of it layin' on her kitchen floor like it was layin' there still gives her chills.

Lexie wasn't happy when mom grabbed her collar an' took her in the house.  She wanted to stay out there w/that possum.   Mom made sure that she made a big deal about how good Lexie was an' rewarded her w/a big bacon chew.  Dad got a shovel, & I helped by escortin' him across the back to dispose of the possum.   I was ready if it tried to bail (that's happened to mom, before).  No one was sure if it was playin' possum or not....an' no one was willin' to examine it, either.  Lexie's never gotten one this big before, so it was a 50/50 deal.  

When we got back to the house, mom opened the doggy door an' Lexie zoomed outside.  Lexie an' I did a thorough seach of the yard to make sure it was critter free, then went back to the house to find mom an' dad sittin' on the couch countin' their blessin's.   Lexie was safe.  She remembered not to take critters in the house.   Mom didn't have to touch it.   An' I didn't catch the mouse to add anymore excitement.

Once again...alls well that ends well........

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The Pill Dance

I shoulda known! Didn't even think about it, but got caught up in the moment when mom was cleanin' out the fridge w/all kinds of scrumptious leftovers...chiken, biscuits, tators & gravy...even a bit of sausage. Talk about a score! Lexie an' I cleaned up. Then.....that's when it went downhill!

Mom gave Lexie a chunk of cheese...of course Lexie scarfed it down an' wanted more. Mom gave her another lil' chunk. Then Mom offered it to me....nope! Not gonna fall for it...an' before I knew it, dad had me. It was that dang pill again. I can't believe I fell for it. I clamped my mouth shut, dad was straddlin' me, mom gave dad my pill, an' dad finally managed to get my mouth open an' jam that pill down my throat. I slammed my mouth shut. We all kinda relaxed. Dad said, "that's was easy". Then I spit that pill right out!

I clamped my mouth shut, again...dad wrastled em to get it open....mom poked lil' bits of cheese in my mouth (are you aware that we can nibble w/our front teeth w/out actually openin' our mouths? We can!). Finally, dad got my mouth open again...mom stuck her arm down my mouth an' put that pill wayyyyy back in my throat. I shut my mouth....looked at 'em both...then calmly coughed up that dang pill again. Lexie was sittin' there watchin' an' hopin' I'd cough up some cheese..but that wasn't gonna happen.

At this point in time....we was all just starin' at one another....you could hear all the wheels turnin' in our heads.....Mom an' I were havin' a stare down.....an' she told me that if she had her druthers...she wouldn't ever give me that pill...but it was for my own good. Dad got my mouth open (a lot easier, since I'd decided I'd made my point), an' mom put that pill back down my throat. I swallowed it...then mom gave me a huge piece of cheese...an' a lil' piece for Lexie, since she was in support status (for who I'm not sure).

After I ate my cheese, mom was on the couch...I got up there an' gave her a kiss an' settled down by her. I don't hold a grudge for what happened....after all it's a dance we go thru every 4-6 weeks...it's nothin' new. There's very few things mom an' I disagree on...this is one of 'em.....an' it wouldn't do for me to just give in to her. I feel it's important to assert yourself from time to time...just as a reminder of who's really in charge. When you're family....it's all about compromise.

Mop Brat

I was stunned!  Stunned, I tell you!  There I was just loungin' up in my tower...watchin' the people goin' off to work in the neighborhood.   I was waitin' on that gang of thieves that make their way around in that big truck stealin' everybody's bags of stuff.   Then...all of a sudden, some lil' mop haired dog comes strollin' down the middle of the street, just as pretty as you please (actually, he was kinda dingy & dirty lookin' as if he had been used to mop up somethin').  I stood up in my big loungin' bed in alert mode.  He came closer an' closer to my house.  All of a sudden, he made a beeline for those bags mom had put out.  I couldn't believe it!  He had his head stuck between those bags with just his tail stickin' out as he checked 'em out. Of course I had to let him have it!   He musta' taken my warnin' as serious, 'cause he decided not to tear into them an' steal somethin'.  But talk about a lil' brat...he turned around an' peed on those bags, then headed down to our neighbors bags to check them out.  All I can say is, he's lucky I'm up here an' he's off down there somewheres.  (But I sure wish I could go down there an' at least erase his markin', it sure irks me that other canines'll think that stuff belong to that mutt).

Not exactly Musical Beds, but close.....

Ok....let me begin by tellin' you that it didn't go quite like I planned, but it worked out.

You see, it's been a lil' cooler, lately, an' Lexie an I have been havin' a lot more rousin' games of biteyface an' chase outside.  Between that an' all the crazy squirrel activity we've actually cut back on our late nite patrols an' started goin' to bed a lil' earlier.  (Mom doesn't believe that's gonna last...not sure why).

Now when I said "goin' to bed"...that was just an expression...not designatin' that we went to "our" beds.  Lexie's been passin' out in dad's chair or on the floor by the back door.  Me?...well, that's where the story begins.

Dad gets up super early, so he goes to bed super early.  He said goodnite to mom as he was retirin' for the nite.  Then he came back out an' told her that I was in his spot..an' stretched out on his pillow.  She told him to make me move.  (I can magically make myself weigh as much as a ton of concrete when I want to)

Anyway, he musta tried...'cause when mom came to bed....dad was in her spot...stretched out on her pillow!   I was still stretched out on his side...on his pillow.   I could actually feel her get that squinty eye look...an' I did hear this "uh uh uh...not gonna work"  accompanied by a click of her camera for evidence to be used in the future.
So, naturally, I did what I need to do....make the best of the situation.   I rolled over an' smiled.   As she got into bed, I snuggled up an' spooned against the back of her legs.
All's well that ends well, I s'pose.....have to admit, though...we had loads more room once dad got up an' went to work....just sayin'.....

One in Paw is Worth.......

Geeezzz.....first it was a sweet tator chip....<nope, I don't want that...snub>, mom puts it into my food bowl an' I watch Lexie eat it (she's like a garbage disposal...I swear she doesn't have a taste bud in her),

Next it was one of them "dog" treats...<are you kiddin', I didn't like 'em when you opened the package...snub>

Mom just stands there starin' at me...I stare back.....Lexie is hoverin' off to the side liftin' one paw an' the next hopin' she's gonna score  the next thing I snub.....
I know there's waffles, punkin' oreos, an' even dad's poppytarts  (not "farts" people..."tarts").   Then mom gets that squinty eye look....I sigh....but try to keep my composure.....after all you have to learn to pick your battles.  She goes back in that jar an' pulls out another one of them sweet tator chips an' holds it out to me.  I go ahead an' take it (they are pretty good actually w/ the cinnnnnammmonnnn on 'em).  Lexie follows me in case I'm just humori' mom, but I go ahead an' eat it.  After all a sweet tator chip in paw is worth two waffles that are goin' back in the freezer for another day. An' it's always good to boost mom's ego an' morale, that way they think they are actually in charge....lol

Subtrefuge...or not......

Dad said he's not talkin' to me.  I certainly don't hold any grudges, even gave him a classic head in the crotch nose poke.  Nada.  Well, ok..then.  I can take a hint, if he wants to sulk, it's not my fault.
I thought we had settled this type of situation long ago.  Don't know why he's all of a sudden actin' like it's somethin' new. Yes, it's true I woke him up early to go outside.  An' he got up an' let me out.  Then I guess he decided to take advantage an' visit the bathroom before goin' back to bed.

This is when it happened.  There was no vacancy in the bed.  he said it was like magic.  I was all stretched out on his side of the bed, w/my head on his pillow.  He coulda swore I was outside.  As he stood there w/his hands on his hips tellin' me to move,  I rolled my head over to point out that mom was still snoozin'...an' that means noone, "NO ONE" disturbs her.  Then gave him a pointed look an' plopped my head back down on the now,  "my pillow".   Besides, the mornin' snooze in bed w/mom is my time.  He abandoned his spot.  It's not like I'm gonna go seek him out an' ask if he's plannin' on comin' back to bed.  He finally took the hint an' left.
Not only is he sulkin', but he actually accused me of lurin' him outa that bed w/a false "I need to go out", just to get him outa bed so I could take his spot.

Well....maybe......

Palm Tree Security Check....

Hmmm.....haven't checked this since yesterday.....there's no tellin' what's hidin' up there.......even mom checks this. Ya remember the snake incident a couple of years ago?  That snake was first spotted by mom right here.  She likes to go to this lil' path to look at her fish....that one mornin', she turned her head an' was eyeball to eye ball w/that big snake.... (She still swears she could feel her hair turnin' white)...after a collected gasp of surprise from both parties...he went one way an' she went the other in the matter of a split second.  She yelled for me an' pointed..of course I didn't see anythin'.  She went back an' looked to make sure it was gone.  I followed it's retreat route to under the neighbor's fence where it had escaped.  He tried to infiltrate our yard a couple more times that week, scarin' the begeebees outa mom each time.  Lexie even tried to get him...but like always, mom's interference led to his escape..again.  (There was somethin' about it slitherin' & wriggilin' all over Lexie's head while she was tryin' to dispatch it that mom couldn't take..but that's a whole 'nother story).  I finally had to take care of the situation myself...since then we haven't had another one in our yard.  But I always do a security check just to give mom peace of mind.  She seems to appreciate it.  I only hope that the cost of that hair dye she's savin' goes to my treat fund.