Dark an' Stormy......

It was a dark an' stormy nite....not so much outside, 'cause the sky was clear an' that moon was shin'in' brite.  But inside the house....after midnite....that was mom's demeanor...not to mention dad's. Again...not our fault...AHS is on call 24/7, ready for action when any kind of threat or breach occurs.  We do NOT set the timeline.  I've told mom time after time.  Ne'er do wells, transients, furry criminals...don't  have a 9-5 schedule...so, we have to adapt to that.  Don't know why she don't understand.  Anyway, about 1am, Lexie an' I had a situation....a breach of security in the back yard.   Mom had let us out w/her usual "come RIGHT back"....it's not our fault that there was an intruder.  We did get a lil' loud for a bit, but as soon as I apprehended the critter, I came "right back" inside, to assure mom that everything was once again safe an' secure.  I left the criminal w/Lexie.  (Don't know why, but she likes to watch 'em for awhile to make sure they aren't gonna  jump up an' create more havoc.) Me?  I'm not interested in 'em at all after I've got 'em.  ("Do it right the first time" is my motto...no "do overs").
So, mom goes to the door an' calls Lexie.  She sees her run toward the path to the door...but then take off toward the fig tree.   Mom goes out a lil' further an' calls her, again.  Nope, Lexie's not comin'.  Mom got a lil' suspicious an' got a closer look...sure 'nuff...Lexie is walkin' around w/that possum hangin' outa her mouth.  It's kinda funny...'cause that possum has a really long tail an' Lexie's kinda short, so she's havin' to hold her head way back to keep from trippin' on him.  After a couple of circles tryin' to get close to Lexie to tell her to "drop it"...mom comes back inside to get her lite.  I got bored watchin' this action...seen it before an' know how it's gonna turn out...so, I went up to my tower to see if there was any breaches in the front yard.
Mom finally just stopped on the deck an' waited by the backdoor.  Lexie did, too, w/her possum.  Mom talked to her an' told her that cookies would taste a lot better then that nasty possum.  Lexie was thinkin' it over...lookin' at mom...lookin' at the back door...lookin' at her lil' door...all the while still holdin' that possum.  Mom was gettin' a lil' nervous..an' finally told Lexie not to even think about takin' that possum in the house an' to "leave it".  Lexie put that possum down an' then laid down by it to think it over...."cookies"..or "possum"..."cookies" or "possum"....it was a big decision for her.  Mom was a lil' afraid to move...she could just imagine Lexie decidin' to take her possum an' go ask dad (who was asleep in bed) if she could have both.
Finally....Lexie left her possum w/one last look an' went inside to the kitchen w/mom close behind her.  Mom gave her big praises an' put cookies in both of our food bowls.  Lexie was happy w/her decision an' started gobblin' up her cookies.  In the meantime...mom goes an' closes Lexie's lil' door, grabs her lite...an goes back outside closin' the big door behind her.  There's no way she's gonna leave that possum on the patio right by the back door.
Mom gets her pitchfork, the possum an' heads for the back fence w/her lite.  Now, she likes her tall fence...but it sure makes it hard to throw possums over it w/a short pitch fork an' one handed in the dark w/out that possum rollin' or crawlin' back up toward her hand (it didn't but that's been known to happen).  Thankfully, her mission was a success.
All the time she's traipsin' across the yard an' back...Lexie has finished her cookies an' figured out what mom was about, an' she wasn't happy.  She for some reason, thought mom would leave her possum, an' she could continue her "watch".  As you know...Lexie can get quite vocal...we're talkin' LOUD when she's not happy.  Mom could hear her clear across the yard...I even came downstairs to see what was what.  Worse yet....dad even got up to see what was goin' on.  He opened the door for mom an' asked why she was out there an' we were in the house makin' all that racket when he had to get up in just a couple of hours.  All mom said was, "I thought you might sleep better w/out a possum in bed w/you...I know I will".  After that, all lites were turned out...an' everyone went to bed.  Lexie was still a lil' miffed, but mom told her to go to bed an' "outside was closed".  I went up to my tower.  About 10 minutes later...I couldn't believe it...there were cats!  In my yard...an' in the yard across the street.  I was livid!...an' loud!  Mom didn't take me seriously at all....she got up...an' closed her bedroom door an' went back to sleep.  I don't think that was appropriate at all....what if it had been a real burgler?  She needs to come up to my tower an' see for herself.....all I can do is send out warnings.  It's not like I can jump outa a second story window an' apprehend 'em.  Anyway....Lexie an' I are takin' a lil' extra time to rest up this mornin'...we gotta be fresh...who knows what's gonna happen tonite...  :)

"Booms" make Lexie push the limits

We had a big storm w/booms, rain' an' wind blow thru late last nite. Outside was closed before it hit.  Mom was tired of dryin' us off. We knew somethin' was comin', an' kept goin' in an' out in the drizzle.  Our excitement level was pretty high, an' mom was wonderin' if we had somehow gotten into the candy corn.  Although she wanted to just curl up on the couch, we wanted to run wild an' rampant.  At one point she thought she'd have to peel us off the ceilin' especially when the impendin' storm was bein' heralded by lots an' lots of booms. Now, I'd just as soon run wild in the house then go out in the rain.  It's more fun, we've got an audience, an' I don't get wet...not to mention that I understand what those "booms" are.  They just mean rain, wet an' mud.  Lexie's thoughts on the matter are different, they just push her buttons.  She's convinced someone is out there makin' those noises, an' she's determined to find out who.  So, she wasn't takin' "no" for an answer, much less the "outside is closed" answer.  Finally, at bedtime, mom turned out all the lites an' told us to go to bed.  We did. It was ok w/me...but Lexie couldn't sleep.  She was mullin' that "boomin" an' the "outside is closed" over an' over in her fuzzy lil' stubborn head.  I could almost see her set that jaw an' make up her mind to challenge mom's authority about closin' outside.  An' that's what she did, but she waited till about 1 am. I guess hopin' mom had forgotten, since she had been asleep.  Nope...mom hadn't forgotten, she got up and told Lexie the same "no", "outside is closed" an' "go to bed".  Lexie gave her some argument, but went an' plopped down in dad's chair.  Mom went back to bed.  About 30 minutes later, just enough time for mom to drift off asleep, again...an' for Lexie to mull it over some more....Lexie starts demanding loudly to go outside.  If she could stamp her feet, she would have...I tried to back her up (quietly)...an' was there at the back door w/her, just in case she got her way an' we got to go out.  It wasn't rainin', just wet outside.   Here comes mom...she didn't even turn on any lites...but I could tell she was lookin' at determined as Lexie was.  I stepped outa the way to watch the show.  Surprise!  Mom grabbed Lexie's collar an' lead her to her bedroom w/me followin' to see what was what.  Then she closed the bedroom door w/us in there w/her an' sleepin' dad, an' told us in no uncertain terms to "go to sleep".  Ok..I thought this was cool, so I laid down on my blanket by mom.  Lexie was sittin' by me...thinkin'.   About 3 minutes later, Lexie started complainin' about the door bein' closed. That resulted in a kinda loud quietlike "LEXIE, NO....GO TO SLEEP!" from mom.  I'm guessin' that Lexie decided that mom was serious an' not givin' up, so she jumped up in bed w/mom..to try another tactic.  She's a wiggler..a big wiggler when she gets in bed w/mom.  Oh, she likes to cuddle an' be petted..but she just can't settle down.  She was rolllin' an' wigglin' an' makin' all kinds of lil' squeaks & grunts, even at one point was layin' on mom. Finally, she gave up...an' jumped off the bed to go to sleep on the floor by the door (I'm guessin' to make sure she was the first one out when it got opened).  This mornin', it's a brite an' sunny mornin'...the squirrels are jumpin' from pecan tree to pecan tree. We've been out since about 6....now, both of us are nappin' comfortably in the house....me in my tower...Lexie on dad's chair.  Mom's drinkin' coffee an' ...well, I'm thinkin' she's about to disturb our peaceful slumber...not sure why.........

Turkey Gravy

Well mom's been out shoppin'....she went w/dad an' got out food.  (I always like to gt that first bite when that bag is cracked open...that's the best.  In fact, I don't let dad pour it into our bin till I get it..right outa the bag).  She also came home w/some mattressy stuff...I think she's startin' to get serious about makin' me a new bed.  She came home w/somethin' the other day that said it was dog bed filler...but me an' Lexie didn't like it...it was too poofy..like a giant pillow, so she took that back.  Then after lunch, dispite the dark skies an' rain...she was off to the grocery store...not her favorite place.  She always ends up gettin' more then she went in for.  She even tries to not even get a buggy hopin' that curtails it some.  An' then there's the forgettin' somethin' (today it was the p'nut butter..we're out),  You might think a list would be good...it would..if she'd remember to have it w/her.  On top of all that, she really wants a button on that pay thing to say "no, the amount due isn't alright, but I'll pay it anyway"...an' more often then not, somethin' happens.  Today, was no exception.  There's always a wait in line, mom's pretty much resigned herself to that fact, it gives her time to catch up on them trashy magazines, lol.   There was one line w/only two people in it, so she headed that way.  The man in front of her made a big deal of gettin' out of line because the woman checkin' out was taking too long gettin' her stuff outa her basket.  Now, mom had issues w/this...first was the fact his wife was made to walk behind him, an' he was rude bossin' her to follow him to another checker, second...the fact he only had a few things an' could have helped the elderly lady get her things out of that basket. Mom got up there an' helped finish unloading that basket, an' the lil' old lady was appreciative. It made mom feel good that the bag boy offered to help her take it out to her car. Then it was mom's turn to check out.  Another young man came an' bagged up mom's groceries, an' mom was on her way home.  Me an" Lexie like to oversee any an' all new bags of grocery....just in case there's somethin' new.  Mom unloaded all of 'em, then started puttin' 'em up.  That's when she discovered she had some extra items....two packages of turkey gravy mix, and a  pound of margarine!  That made her feel really bad....'cause she remembered that before that man moved outa line, that lil' ol' lady had a pie, an' was askin' the price.  Whatever the price was, it was more then she wanted to pay an' she put it back.  Obviously, the things she was buying were for her Thanksgivin' dinner....probably for family that she was expectin' to come visit.  Now....she's home an' has discovered that she paid for gravy an' margarine...but didn't have it.  Mom's got it, didn't pay for it, doesn't need it...an' has no idea who that lil' lady was, on top of all that..it's dark an' rainin', now.   She put it up, but it made her feel sad.  To perk her up, Lexie an' I decided to finish unloadin' the rest of the groceries.......for some reason' she was laughin' at us, just 'cause we were havin' a bit of trouble w/that big frozen turkey in the entryway, it was spinnin' an' slidin'....I swat it one way...an' Lexie'd swat it the other...we weren't gettin' anywhere w/it, but it sure was fun...until mom rescued it.  She gave us each a bully stick as ransome payment...an' for makin' her smile.  No problem, mom....that's what we're here for.

The Case of the Daisy Coat

W

Well, just let me tell you about mom's latest....she lost Lexie's daisy coat.  It got down to close to freezin' an' mom couldn't find it anywhere.

She finally put Lexie's other one on (the one w/flames).  Now, it's on her list to "fix", 'cause those lil' "sleeves" it has are just hard to get on an' even harder to get off Lexie.  Mom thinks if she just puts velcro stuff on them lil' arms an' wrap it around..it'll work better.  So far, she's just been ignorin' it an' lettin' Lexie use her daisy coat that fits her perfect. A

Anyway....here it was dark an' cold, an' that coat was nowhere to be found.  Mom was pretty sure she didn't throw it away in the mornin' trash....but it wasn't in the house.  So out she goes w/us w/her trusty lite an' bundled up to see if it somehow came off earlier in the day.  I don't know why she thought it was necessary to give us a warnin' about steppin' in somethin'.  She's the one that was on poop patrol earlier, & we have no control over them brown leaves...just sayin'.  We did our patrol of the yard while she traipsed all over the yard w/that lite.  She was successful in missin' any pitfalls an' "landmines",  successful in collectin' 3 pillows, a tiger, my fuzzy ball, an' Lexie's kitty, but unsuccessful in findin' that coat.  She came in the house an' told dad that it just has to be out there...but she couldn't find it an' that she'd look for it first thing in the mornin'.

So...mornin' comes, bein' Texas...it's not cold anymore.  Mom goes out an' looks....an' finds the coat hangin' on the grapevine right where she put it when she took it off Lexie for the Christmas Pictures.  Not only that...there's no tellin' how many times she walked past it and didn't see it.  Does she take any responsibility for this?  No....she got the coat an' blamed me an' Lexie for drivin' her to this sort of behavior.  I beg to differ...we haven't gone for a ride lately much less gone drivin'....

Power Naps

Mom's kinda grumpy this mornin', an' has declared it a "no nap" day.  Geez, she just doesn't get it.  An' to be perfectly honest...I was snoozin' pretty comfortably up in my tower when Lexie sounded the alarm at 1 am.  In fact, I kinda ignored it....up until I heard mom come outa her bedroom at 1:30 an' have a very short an' terse discourse w/Lexie which invoved "no", "bed", "no"..."go to sleep"..."you're not goin' outside"....stuff like that.  I came down to see what was goin' on...an' who was gonna win this argument.  Mom did...she thought....as she went back to bed an' shut her door, leavin' me standin' in the livin' room an' Lexie layin' on her bed w/a stubborn look on her face.  I went back to my tower. Lexie musta just been givin' this all a "think".   2 am....Lexie sounds off again...first at the back door...then at mom's door, then back at the back door.....then I hear mom again goin' over all the same stuff...just maybe a lil' louder...endin' w/a "OUTSIDE IS CLOSED!!!".  Then everythin' followin' the closin' of mom's door got quiet......for about 15min.  Yep...Lexie was not givin' up...nope, nohow, no siree.  It was a cold, clear, an' still nite just prime for critters to be about.  An' the added enticement of the motion lite comin' on in the back...well, there's just no way it could be ignored.  Figurin' the "three times a charm" rule was gonna come into play, I came downstairs, again.  Sure 'nuff, there was mom in her pj's standin' over Lexie at the backdoor.  Mom was usin' that "look" on Lexie...but Lexie was just vibratin' w/anticipation (she knew she had won).....then mom pointed her finger at Lexie an' said the magic words...."ok"...and "you come RIGHT BACK!...RIGHT BACK!".   Then she opened the back door an' I think when Lexie raced out she actually touched the ground about 15ft away, as she bounced off the deck to hit the backyard. Mom gave me a "that means you, too..right back" as I ran out.  (Hey, I'm not gonna pass up an opportunity like this).  We zig zagged all over that yard. Mom was waitin' on us, doin' busy stuff like gettin' stuff outa the freezer to thaw for dinner, checkin' emails...I came inside in a timely fashion an' checked in w/her.  I know her "right back" is only about 10 minutes, 15 at most.  Naturally, I got a prize for bein' the "good one", a prime piece of cheese.  Then mom waited for Lexie, who was pushin' it for as long as she could.  At about the 15 min. mark...mom opened the backdoor an' called her.   Lexie was closeby, just enjoyin' lookin' out over the yard an' came inside waggin' her tail an' as pleased as punch (which made mom give her that "look" again, which Lexie didn't see or chose to ignore).  Mom asked her if she was ready to go to bed...finally...Lexie grinned an' plopped down on her bed.  Mom couldn't resist an' gave her a couple of pats as she headed back to her own bed.  Then gave me a hug an' a pat.  I headed back upstairs wide awake, now, to keep watch on the neighborhood....bein' the day the trucks come pick up all those bags on the street, I was anticipatin' some stray cat, r'coon, or some kind of varment checkin' 'em out.  Now, back to the problem of mom bein' a lil' grumpy....it's all in learnin' to pace yourself.  If you take power naps durin' the day, then you're ready for anything...24/7.  Mom just doesn't get this, no matter how many times I tell her.  Right now...Lexie's hangin' over dad's chair sleepin' (mom's already plottin' on wakin' her up)...I'm up in my tower restin' my eyes listenin' for those theivin' guys in that big truck stayin' outa her way...lol

Sometimes it's the Ride

Mom an' dad were gone most of the afternoon..shoppin' an' who knows what.  As soon as they got home, mom jumped outa the Hummer an' hopped across the driveway to the lil' sidewalk we got by our front door.  I had been up in my tower watchin' for 'em to come home, an' started to race to the front door when I just had to stop an' watch mom stand on one foot (did I forget to mention it's cold outside?), an' turn on the faucet an' wash the bottom of her shoe.  It did look strange, it's s'posed to be black, but it was splotched w/brite turquoise now.  Seems she was lookin' at somethin' an' walked right smack into a big pile of paint in front of the  hardware store. Then she had to hop to the Hummer on one shoed foot an one bare foot, holdin' that splotchy shoe.  (She hates bare feet in public places.."ewww"). Well, she tried to get it off, but it had dried...so now, she's got a artsy shoe bottom.  Then she got the mail..an' wasn't happy.  That ol' postoffice sent back one of her lil' packages she mailed last week, sayin' it needed more postage.  Grrrr...I could just hear her.  She was mad..again...she took 'em to the post office in the first place..an' put on all the stamps they told her to....now, they want more.  Well!  She came in the house..went an' put on another pair of shoes....grabbed the keys...an...an'..then she said, "c'mon, Bailey, we're goin' to the Post Office"!  Wow..just me an' mom..I was ready, an' at the front door waitin' for my lead.  She put on my lead, opened the door an' we went out....but then...somethin' flashed right by us....Lexie!.  Lexie w/no lead Lexie. Me an' mom were frozen in shock as Lexie bebobbed across the lawn...w/no lead.  Mom yelled at her..then calmly called her as we raced toward her.  Mom opened the hummer door an' told Lexie we were goin' for a ride an' to get in the truck. Lexie was across the street by then.  Mom told me to get in an' then took off my lead an' shut the door.  Then she headed toward the street, just as a car was comin' around the curve...an' Lexie was startin' to cross back.  Mom told her to "stop...an' what do we do? Lexie..sit!"  (that's what we do whenever we have to cross the street).  Mom kinda stepped out in the street to slow the car down...as..surprise surprise...Lexie had sat an' was just sittin' there across the street as that car passed on by.  Then mom called her again' an' told her we were goin' for a ride. Lexie started across the street right to mom.  Mom turned back to the hummer to open the door for Lexie, only to see me lookin' over the back seat watchin' all the action thru the wide open back door. (Dad had fogotten the mom's bags of soil in the back an' had left it open).  Mom says at that moment she figured that if she hadn't had a heart attack thru all this...she's good for anythin'.  Her life didn't flash before her eyes, but ours did...Lexie runnin' the streets an' then I coulda been on the loose, too.  But none of that happened, an' mom had both of us loaded in the Hummer, an' we got to escort her to the post office to remail that lil' package.  When she got there, she realized that gettin' upset about that package an' the post office wasn't really important.  What was important, was the three of us enjoyin' the ride!

The Battle of Water-ewww

Ok...soooo....some of you may know my trials an' tribulations w/a certain someone.  Well, one of my pet peeves is the condition she leaves  our water bowls.  Oh...I'm very aware of her passion for pond divin'.....snoopin' in anythin' an' everythin'.  The fact she loves to spend every single moment outside, in any kind of weather...usually the messier the better.

The Culprit....Lexie...aka-Dirt Magnet

Oh...don't be fooled.....her beard looks ok in this picture...why?..you may ask...'cause she's already gotten a drink outa not one, but all three of our waterbowls.  Yep, mom gave us each one....then added another.  It didn't help...Lexie runs in thirsty...an' proceeds to drink outa each an' everyone of 'em......

Now...I ask you...would you drink outa' any of 'em?  I take one look at 'em..an' would rather go drink outa' the pond  (which I do)...my place of choice, an' one I demand multiple times from mom at all hours (don't know why she grumbles so much in the middle of the nite...it's not like it's far)..is mom's sink in her bathroom.  I love that cold runnin' water...an' the best part...Lexie's too short to drink outa it.  Oh, I can an' have turned it on myself...but I like to keep mom occupied...it makes her feel important.  Besides, she really grumbles when she finds the water runnin' for no tellin' how long.  I don't see a problem, really, I kinda like ti that way.

Hmmm....what have we here?   Clean...cold...an' w/ice.....water!!!!!

Oh my gosh...this is soooo good.....

This is best idea, yet.   My own personal water bucket....cold water...ice don't melt...and the best thing ..ever..is Lexie's too short to reach the bottom of it.  What do you mean I can't keep it?  It's borrowed?  WELL!   I'm puttin' in a requisition form immediately for my very own...I think I deserve it for all the work an' responsibility I have around here...it's not like I ask for the moon or anythin'....an'...I even got a name for it...."Bailey's Private Cool Cooler".

Let me know when it comes in....btw..do we have to return this one right away?