Gifts-- It's the Thought That Counts, Right?

I knew it!! It happened just like I knew it would...well, kinda sorta.......

When dad came home last nite from work, Lexie an' I immediately informed him that we needed out!!
Lexie went to mom, first...all excited like...but mom told her that we needed to ask dad. Then she gave him a quick run down of our earlier aborted mission, an' told him it was up to him.

Well, we were givin' him our best excited looks, waggin' tails an' tongues...the whole nine yards of "you'll be our bestest forever if you only let us out" routine. 

It worked.....he opened that backdoor an' we raced outa our mom imposed time out as fast as we could......just in case he changed his mind.

Mom went back to workin' on her computer........dad went an' got him a bowl of that good pasta stuff mom made. Then he went an' sat down in his chair to watch the news.......

Just as he was gonna take his first bite......Lexie came runnin' back in thru her lil' door....all excited....beyond excited.....waggin' for all she was worth.....

She ran straight towards dad in his chair......then dropped that big ol' possum right there in the middle of the livin' room!

Boy.....that nice an' relaxed atmosphere in the livin'room dissipated faster then the speed of lite.
Lexie was standin' over that possum, w/a grin an' waggin' tail.....mom's goin'..."noooooo"....dad jumped up from his chair an' ran out to the patio to get is big leather gloves......that possum was just layin' there on the rug. 

Dad came back inside, just as Lexie picked that possum back up (I think she wanted to make sure he didn't run off under the couch or somethin').....

Mom got up to take a picture (go figure)....Lexie turned around w/the possum an' decided to give it to mom.

With a waggin' tail, she started for mom....mom was backed against the wall an' tv tryin' to hold back the horror.....(she didn't want no possum)......as dad approached. 

Mom was tryin' to stay calm...'cause she didn't want Lexie to think she had done somethin' bad...'cause at that moment Lexie was startin' to look a lil' confused. An' she sure didn't want Lexie to run outside an' then them havin' one of their marathon Lexie/possum hunts in the dark.

As dad approached Lexie, mom grabbed her collar. An' they both told her to "drop it". 

Lexie pretended not to know what they were sayin'...(mom was usin' hand signals, so...mom knew Lexie understood....it wasn't their first rodeo...not for any of 'em)

Mom had her collar.....dad w/his big gloves on was tryin' to pull that possum outa Lexie jaws (like that was gonna work).

Quick thinkin' mom....reached over an' plucked a piece of pasta outa dad's bowl an' put it in front of Lexie's nose. 

One sniff, an' Lexie dropped that possum like a hot 'tator an' gobbled up the piece of pasta. 
Dad picked up the possum an' went outback to throw it into the field. 

Mom gave Lexie some pats tellin' her she was a good girl (under her breath she was tellin' her she sure wished she wouldn't bring them in the house...an' she sure wished she knew where she went wrong to give Lexie the idea that she wanted possum gifts). Then she led me an' Lexie into the kitchen for our nite nite snack. 

Dad came back in an' locked ALL the back doors....an' then with a grin, told mom that he was sure glad Lexie didn't bring him gifts....an' if he was mom..he'd make sure that Lexie never got to spend all nite outside.......she just might wake mom up with a nice lil' gift.......Mom didn't find that funny........

Aborted...by Mom

Dang it, MOM!! 

Yep...she totally ruined an AHS operation! 

So what if we had been makin' a racket...it was totally outa' frustration an' intimidation factor for that varmit hidin' under the deck! An' if we had a lil' bit longer, I just know we woulda' figured out how to a) rip up them boards or b) get Lexie to go deep..an' get under the deck (she's been there before ya know). One or the other plans woulda' flushed him outa there! 

But noooooo.....she comes out an' orders us to stop...of course, we're busy an' Lexie fallin' back on her, "I can't hear you". Mom seemed a lil' upset that we were tryin' to rip up the boards. I have to admit...they're tough on the teeth an' paws....but since we don't have thumbs...we work w/what we've got.

Mom finally figured out we weren't givin' up...so she got the hose an' squirted water under the deck.
Well, that didn't work...that critter just went to the other side of the deck. Then she poured vinegar all over the deck......boy, that did get some reaction...we were runnin' all over that deck sniffin' between the boards.

After a bit....mom told us to come in the house....that whatever was there was gone...(we're not sure about that). Then she bribed us with a lil' chicken.....
We went ahead an' went in the house (for the chicken)..figurin' that we'd go right back out....but she locked us in. 

She thinks that we've forgotten....but we haven't. Neither has that critter...he'll be feelin' all safe an' sound under that deck....get all comfy an' relaxed......but as soon as dad gets home...we'll be right back out there, all fresh an' ready to rumble......

Coulda' Been a Excitin' Wake up.....

It coulda' been a lot worse, but mom says it may give her nitemares, lol.

Me an' Lexie like to wake mom up in the mornin' w/lil' kisses an' snufflin' to her face.....a paw to make her turn over, if she facin' the wrong way. An' all at what she considers a decent time...like between 7:30 & 8 in the mornin'. 

Dad gets up before daylite, an' of course me an' Lexie get up w/him. We go out, do our thin'....maybe a lil' patrollin'..then we come back inside to nap till it's time to wake mom.

He don't like to turn on all the lites....so as not to wake mom. He'll let us out,then go to her computer to look at his email an' check to see what's happened overnite & drink his coffee. Then when we come back inside, he'll give us a lil' treat an' close Lexie's lil' door. (This is the new protocol mom put in place since the "neighborhood cat fiasco" happened before it was time for us to wake her up). 

Everythin' was goin' on like usual, this mornin'. Mom was asleep, dad got up an' let us out...he got his coffee & then sat down at the computer, leavin' the livin' room lites out. I came back inside.....after a lil' bit....Lexie came back inside.

She was headed towards the bedroom. As she rounded the coffee table, dad noticed she had somethin'.
He got up an' headed her off......an' asked her what she had. Well, she sat down an' showed him......
She was carryin' a lil' possum. Guess she was gonna wake mom up w/a present, lol. 

Anyway, dad didn't have time to go get gloves or nothin'...but he had a treat waitin' for her (I already got mine)...so, he grabbed that. She quickly traded her lil' possum for the treat & dropped it promptly on the livin' room floor.

Dad quickly picked it up by the end of it's tail an' headed out to that back corner by the field. About halfway, the possum decided to wrap his tail around dad's fingers for a more secure position, lol. Dad decided to walk faster an' then dropped it over the fence. 

When dad got back, Lexie was stretched out in his chair w/a big grin....I was layin' on my bed just thinkin' about the fallout if he had been in the shower when Lexie had come inside an' taken her "present" to mom, lol. 

After hearin' dad tell her about his mornin' an' her almost mornin'....mom pointed her finger at Lexie an' told her "it had better not ever happen".....

Personally, I dunno......Lexie's under the impression that mom likes possums....otherwise, why would she pay her for them?

Salmon Cigars.....

Another scorcher of a day.....personally, I could do without summer.....it's hot hot hot down here in Texas. Mom, for some strange reason, spends more an' more time outside.....not me...it's AC all the way...an' that means outside.

Anywho....she came inside an' saw me an' Lexie all stretched out in the livin'room....an' thought we might be bored. (we weren't...we were just enjoyin' the quiet an' cool, lol). 


She went to my birthday loot box...an' got out these humongous salmon jerky "cigars". 



Those things were huge! Almost 2 feet long!....an' super fishy smellin'. Naturally, that smell is what sold 'em for me an' Lexie...mom not too much. But she gave 'em to us anyway. We both grabbed 'em an' headed off to do some serious chewin'. 

I laid down....got into a comfortable position....put that big ol' thin' right there between my front paws, just like I do with any chew......that's when mom started laughin' at me......

Well, you try to hold somethin' between your paws to chew on...an' it be stickin' up two feet in the air....almost a foot over your head!

Lexie had the same problem.....

It only took us a few seconds to figure out that we either had to stand up an' hold that sucker down to chew on the end....or break it.........like Lexie's motto....there's no food that we can't figure out how to get to......

By the way....we loved 'em.....mom said she'd get 'em for us again, but next time, "she'll" break 'em in half for us....

Magic Rock

Went out w/mom an' dad to the back corner. Mom was showin' dad that table she's been workin' on. Ya know...the one she "rescued" from a pile of hurricane damaged trash. 

Anyway, Lexie an' I decided to do a lil' recon in that area.....all of a sudden....

Whoa! I jumped back about three feet....

What the heck?......I had one paw up pointin'...my neck an' nose stretched out.........

Dad an' mom saw me.....an' mom told me to "leave it!"....she had no idea what was against that fence...but for me to act like this...she didn't want me near it until dad checked it out (to be honest, she thought it was a snake). 

Dad came over an' I got a lil' closer, but I didn't want him to be close to the danger by himself, so I went ahead an' walked w/him..just in case he was attacked.

Dad told mom it wasn't a snake....then he picked it up to show her. I was a g'normous rock...with four legs an' a head! Then all of a sudden...it was just a rock again! No legs....no head!

Dad held it up so I couldn't inspect it, so I began to give that spot where it was a really good examination.....just in case there were more. I had my nose down...sniffin' as fast as I could....then all of a sudden, I jumped....mom wasn't s'posed to see that.....I had turned an' there was a big round rock...an' outa the corner of my eye, I thought it was another one of them magic rocks. (mom did apologize for laughin'.....hey, I've never had one of them in my yard, before, and the first one looked just like a rock).
Dad took that turtle to mom, an' they discussed what to do w/it. Dad was for puttin' it on the other side of the yard an' hopin' it'd dig back under the fence.

Mom nixed that idea....she didn't want it anywhere in the yard....because of us (she had noticed that it looked like "someone" had bit off a lil' corner of his "box"...an' there was chip on the backside, too), an' because of her garden veggies...an' because of her fishies. In other words, he was persona non grata in our yard, as far as she was concerned. 

So....she took him thru the house, down the street, around the corner, across the baseball field an' put him in the field behind our house. 

What'd he do? Stuck out his head, stretched his neck to look around....put out his legs, hiked up his box an' took off.....right towards the busy four lane road. He was movin' pretty fast, too.

Mom watched him for a minute or two....sighed...an' then went wadin' in the weeds after him.
She finally caught up w/him, picked him up, an' walked in the other direction an' put him back down.
He never even put his head back in his box...nor his legs...when she put him back down, he stretched his neck out an' was puffin' it out like he was MAD!...then he turned around an' took off....but at least this time, he was headed towards the woods.....

Mom was sure wishin' she had brought her camera...'cause she thought it was kinda funny they way he was actin'.....then she noticed that he "may" be headed for the woods...but he "may" be headed back to our yard, since he'd have to pass that corner of our yard on the way to the woods. She's already decided he's goin' for hummer ride if he shows up again.

On the way outa the field, she found a lost baseball. 

I had watched her traipsin' down the street to the corner w/that turtle from my tower. So, when she came back, I met her at the door an' gave her a good "goin' over". I had to make sure she was "magic rock" free....naturally. Who knows what coulda' happened.

She said she was ok...an' then gave me that ball from the field. I like it a lot more then that movin' rock....

T

Battle of Wills

Ha ha ha.....if only I had thumbs, I coulda' recorded mom an' Lexie arguin' an' then the subsequent hissy fit by Lexie....then them gettin' into it again...then mom givin' in, sorta......tryin' to get Lexie's attention an' Lexie purposely not lookin' at her, so she can play the "I'm deaf" card......it was hilarious!

We had a lil' thunderstorm blow thru, an' amazingly, Lexie wanted to go out in it to find that "boomin' man". Guess she can still hear him, lol. Mom kept tellin' her "NO", by sayin' it slowly, loudly an' shakin' her head. The universal negative response, whether you can hear or not....in fact whether you're even close or not....it mean's it's not gonna happen.

Lexie wanted out, an' that was that! She can get really demandin' when she wants to...she's always been like that. She'll stomp her feet, an' bark as loud as she can. She kept doin' that, an' runnin' to the back door, slappin' that bell....then runnin' back to mom.....she's barkin' mad, mom's shakin' her head an' sayin' "NO!!!!!". 

Finally, Lexie got that look.....

She ran over an' grabbed on of her toys....shook it an' then tore a leg off, took out the stuffin' an' the squeaker...then looked at mom an' started barkin' again!. 

She had escalated to a classic "Lexie hissy fit". 

As mom started pickin' up the stuffin' an' squeaker, Lexie ran over to my new squirrel stump...an' started takin' out the squirrels an' tossin' 'em everywhere...then, I guess she decided there was an' easier way to get 'em out...so, she turned it upside down an' was about attempt to rip the bottom off an' release all the squirrels!

Luckily, mom rescued 'em...an' my stump. She an' Lexie were havin' a stare-down. 

I decided that, you know what....it had stopped rainin'.....an' who knows when "I'd" get a chance to "go out" again, tonite, since more rain' was comin'. So, I went calmly over to the back door an' gave mom a nice polite request to go out.
She took the cue an' asked me it I reallly need to go out....I answered w/an affirmative. 

Lexie was payin' attention an' she ran up to the door by me. Then mom came....she told me, first,....to "come right back!". Then she tried to get Lexie's attention to tell her the same thin'. This is where Lexie was playin' the "I can't hear you" card. She wouldn't look at mom. Mom grabbed her beard (mom likes to use that as a handle). An' Lexie kept tryin' to avoid lookin' at her...but finally, mom got her to look right at her, an' told her very firmly "to come RIGHT BACK!". Mom made sure Lexie was lookin' at her when she said it, too. I'm pretty sure Lexie knew mom was serious an' knew exactly what mom was tellin' her. It's not like this is a new thin' w/us. So, there's no way Lexie could pretend otherwise.

Anyway, mom let us out......we zoomed out....disappearing out into the dark....to the outward bounds of our yard....
Within a few minutes....I was back. I had done what I needed to do, an' there was no way I was gonna get caught out in the rain.

Lexie was still MIA. 

Mom got her flashlite an' shined it back n' forth across the yard. (It's her signal for Lexie). Just as she was about to get that squinty eyed look she gets.....here comes Lexie strollin' down the path by the grape arbor headin' for the house.
She came inside w/a grin an' headed for the kitchen. She didn't come runnin' in the house...she took her time...but I guess it was her way of compromisin' w/mom, lol. 

In any case...we both made it back before the rain started, again. An' we both got a lil' reward! As far as mom's concerned....it was a successful nite. 

As far as I'm concerned it is, too....'cause she forgot to put the gate across the stairs...that means I get to have an allnighter up in my tower, ha ha ha.....

Signs of Love

Ahem...<clearin' my throat an' gettin' my prepared public statement ready that mom's makin' me do, I dunno why, it should be obvious..but she's givin' me "that look". So, here goes>.....To whom it may concern or interest, mom did not wet her pants. I wiped my beard on 'em after gettin' a drink. (I don't see what the big deal is....it's not like I wear a shirt an' can wipe my beard off on my sleave. She was there an', well, can I help it if her crotch is nose level an' those pants show every single lil' damp spot?...they'll dry...an' it was clean water...geez, she oughta wear it proudly like a badge...kinda like a love sign :) ).