AHS--Garden Report.

AHS report...morning inspection showing absolutely zero damage in mom's garden! Well, except the squash has a bug problem, but that's not in our area of expertise..sorry. We've been pullin' all niters, which works out perfectly for me. (I do like naps in the AC during the day when it's over 90 degrees). All of dad's traps are empty, Mr owl & the whirly thingabobs are doin' their jobs this morning (they only work on dumb birds, mom). Mom, I know you think your latest plan is what worked. You managed to make the garden look like it's covered w/lil' snowballs, & it kinda smells. We liked the peppermint smell better, but you went & added a bunch more coated w/ methol rub. Famous people say it's the result that matters, not the method....well, we're claiming full credit for this, & as per contract expect extra chicken wings for allllllll those hours of hard work while you were snoozin' all snuggly in your bed the last couple of nites. 

P.S.....disregard Lexie tryin' to get extra credit, by claimin' she caught a rat in your garden.....                               that's her rattie, don't be fooled. :)

Mom's declared War!

Well, mom has really gone all out in full battle mode.  You know she got the owl, 6 whirly thingabobs, one live trap, 2 big spring traps, (& locked us in the house, thinkin' those things would work better w/out us). Well that didn't work. She sent dad to the store for more traps, critter repellant, & she spent all morning doin' research on how to best defend her garden. Now...in addition to the above, we have 6 lil' snap traps, 1 big glue trap, & 2 lil' glue traps, critter repellant granules & a partridge in a pear tree...no, really still only that owl on a stick. On top of all that, she covered the garden & all the tomatoe plants w/ lil' cotton balls soaked in peppermint.  She don't even care that her nice green garden kinda looks like a carnival w/ lil' snow balls.  It sure smells good! 

She did have one lil' snaffu....Lexie thought those lil' cotton balls were a mistake, they didn't belong on those t'mater plants....so, she was followin' behind mom..takin' 'em off. 

Oh...an' the most important thing...she conceded that AHS was still the best weapon at her disposal, & we have full access 24/7!  

This morning, she could hardly wait to check the garden. We went out w/her for a full inspection. One of the traps was sprung...but no varmit. Two of the glue traps were totally gone, but she found them in what was left of the cannas (she cleared a bunch out, so nothin' could hide in 'em). They were stuck together, but no critter. The live trap was still baited & set..as were all the others. Mr Owl had nothin' to say, he's still just sittin' on his stick wobblin' his head. The cotton balls were still in place...but two  t'maters had been chomped on.  Less damage than anytime before....of course, Lexie & I are taking credit for this developement. Sorry about the two t'maters, but we do have to sleep some. Mom's still not happy...but she's not givin'up.. & neither are we!  AHS is on duty...& those varmits are on notice...we will hunt you down!

GARDEN UNDER SEIGE

Mom's on the warpath!  Critters have been ravaging her garden....usin' it like a open free for all buffet! Actually, more like a tastin' table...'cause they just chomp big bites, & then go on to another one....don't even eat the whole thing. 

We've been doin' our best, here at AHS...but sometimes our plans & mom's don't mesh. 

First...she thought she'd beef up our security w/this thing...an owl on a stick.  She let us check him out before she put him up there. Lexie promptly removed his head, but dad put it back on. I was surprised that he could move his head around all by himself...kinda cool..might work for those pesky birds. But he's not gonna be much help for anything else..especially in the dark.  Now, if he'd lite up, flap his wings & make lots of noise..that might work. 

If that wasn't enough....she put these lil' whirly things all over. Again...cute, but what if the wind's not blowin', or at nite?  Again...maybe just for the stupid birds.....(little does she know, but they're really too busy eatin' dad's grapes & figs to mess w/her garden). 

This was last nite's result!  Not our fault!  Mom set out her traps, owl, whirly thingabobs & then for some crazy idea...locked us up in the house, all nite.  I'm pretty sure that she's regretting the wisdom of that idea. 

Lot of good these things did. Her trap w/cheese & tomatoes...not even touched.  Why? Well they had a fresh smorgasbord out in the garden...much better ambiance. They could taste, chew & discuss which 'maters they liked better in a relaxing atmosphere...SANS DOGS!

  Ha ha ha....they took dad's cheese & didn't even get caught!  What a waste...we didn't even get a piece of that cheese.

Woo hoo....now look at that. It must have been a mixed crowd, last nite.   A raccoon or oppossum helped themselves to a nice grapefruit. 

(Note to mom---wouldn't have happened it AHS had been on duty...just sayin'.)

When dad let us out this morning...we tried to get one of the critters....but it ran up that tree, across the roof & to the front yard....we do what we can.  All the damage had been done, anyway.  As much as we enjoyed the nite off, I bet mom doesn't lock us in tonite.  

Oh...and I've got another idea...let's put Lexie's bed out in the middle of the garden. She'll love that, & I bet nothin' gets any 'maters w/her on stake out. 

WHAT NOW?

What the heck is this?  It don't look like somethin' that'd taste good, to me.  Mom's at it again. Dryin' stuff. Now, I have to admit she's made some mighty tasty stuff. The steak & roast jerky turned out awesome, too goon in fact. Her & dad munch on it, too.  Then she started gettin' creative...why? couldn't tell you, 'cause I'm perfectly satisfied with the beef jerky. But she branched out, chicken jerkey (yummy!), & then came the turkey jerky..that was ok.  Next, she decided to make turkey jerky & add carrots.  I thought it was ok, too...kinda sweet paired w/the maple bacon flavor..nice.  You'd think, that'd be enough, but nooooo...she went & made turkey jerky & put a whole apple in it. I think this may be Lexie's fav...it's kinda sweet.  I like it, but you just can't beat the beef. I'm just a simple steak kinda guy...who'd turn down a good steak for ground turkey, anyway? Back to what the heck is this?

Well....mom...it does smell interesting & tastes kinda good......but there's not much on this....

Oh....so...now you're gonna suck all the juice outa it.....huh?

Mom showed her jar to dad & called it, "a jar of sunshine".   Don't know about that, but those lil' yellow crisps are sure good!  I like it much better than apples!  But once again...she makes this stuff than hoards it. Doles it out just a couple of pieces at a time, & keeps it locked up in things we can't open. Why, why, why..were we born w/out thumbs.....things sure would be different around here.

Sometimes havin' no thumbs doesn't stop some of us. Mom put that topper up high on the patio, to dry. (She says she's gonna plant it, & it'll grow another one of those strange things). Anyway, Lexie climbed up on a chair, then on the arm of the chair, had to balance against a planter & stand on her hind legs...but she got that topper & munched all the yellow off it.  I guess she's discovered a new favorite fruit.

So far, mom's experiments have all been winners....but I sure hope she notices that I'm gettin' low on my steak jerky!  Hint, hint, hint...

Earth Day 2012

Yesterday was Earth Day.  Mom & dad spent it workin' in the backyard, alllllll day!  Dad emptied his shed & then put up another one.  There was stuff spred out all over the yard.  It was just fantastic for snoopin'.  Lexie snagged a couple things...a new rope, one of dad's gloves, a paint roller & a lil' broom.   Dad went & confiscated them from her stash under the fig tree (mom, also, took back one of her lil' pillows that was under there) lol. I helped mom...she was working on the big flower bed by the pond (it's in the shade, like they say, us airedales are smart).

One of the hi-lites was Lexie findin' a lil' toad.  She decided it needed some exercise,  so she took it for a walk...once around the pecan tree!  She gets facinated by the funniest things.....

The Result!

So.......this is the result....finally.  I'd almost fogotten all about that chicken & steak. It took all nite, but this morning, dad declared it done!  Mom checked it & even tasted it, then she declared it just perfect!

 But here comes the real test!  She called me over to be the dog guinea pig, so to speak, since I was the one that had such big doubts about this whole thing.

WOW!!   After a lil' sniff...I snatched that jerky right outa her hand, takin' no time for any photos & boogied straight to my "bed central" to check it out......only it was so good, I didn't make it.  I was right back in that kitchen beggin' for another piece  (just to make sure it was as good as the first one)...it was.  Lexie approves, too. She followed me hopin' I wouldn't like it & let her have mine.  No way on this.   So....I definitely give it the "Bailey stamp of approval".  The way I've got it figured, mom...is that if you start another batch now & keep up production, we'll never have to wait so long, again.  :)

All DRIED OUT...WHY?

Wow!  Steak!  Now, this is what I'm talkin' about!  Mom spent all day cleanin' out the freezer, yesturday, and she said she was savin' some stuff for us!  Steak & Chicken...it just don't get any better than that.  She even sliced it up nice & seasoned it w/ Bacon Salt. 

Whoa...back up there, mom.  You're doin' what w/all that? What do you mean you're gonna dry it all out?  It's sittin' there all nice & juicy....just perfect.  I think we need to wait till dad gets home....I've got some serious concerns.

Yep....serious concerns........

How are you gonna explain to Lexie  (who's layin' by her bowl...waitin' for that chicken & steak)...that it's gonna be a looooonnnngggg wait?   Just look at that face.....I think you need to rethink this plan.  She's gonna be so disappointed.

Yummy, juicy chicken.......we eat raw chicken all the time, and like it just fine like that.  So, now you're gonna dry it out.....WHY???   Haven't you ever heard the sayin', "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"?  We could take care of all that right now, no waiting & no dishes for you to clean. 

How long is this gonna take?  I sure hope you know what you're doin, 'cause I just don't see the point.  

It's gonna be a long nite.............